Is there any hope for me?

I feel like such a failure. At work, at home.... I know I'm smart enough to do my job. I know I'm capable of keeping house.... But I feel like I walk around in a 'haze'. I know what I need to do but I never know where to start.

I'm paranoid... Constantly worried that I've forgotten something. Sometimes it keeps me up at night.

I'm ashamed of myself. Being a professional and in a position of leadership, I'm not living up to the basic things my peers can accomplish.

I've been called disorganized, scatter-brained and I'm sure people think I'm a mess.

I find myself trying to read something and I can't even force myself to concentrate.

I'm finding myself falling behind at work. Constantly disappointing people. I think people must think I'm lazy or inconsiderate. But really, I just 'space' things out!

This is affecting me badly. I'm 29 and I think I may have ADD. Is there any hope for me?

Wow. Your post looks like I wrote it. I'm going through exactly the same thing. On Saturday night, a guy who works with university students with ADD told me I should talk to my doc about ADD. He thinks that's what's going on with me. I'm being treated for depression and anxiety right now (taking Lexapro and Clonazepam), but I'm more disorganized and messy and forgetful than ever. My medication is stopping me from having panic attacks, but I feel useless. I have trouble concentrating at work... and I have a very demanding job. I'm always afraid that I'm forgetting something important. I have to write so many lists and set reminders on my computer so I don't forget deadlines and appointments. I can't tune out background noise and I lose focus so easily. Once I get distracted, I can't get my focus back. My mind is racing all the time and I can't think clearly or prioritize my tasks.

Friends and colleagues tease me about having "blonde moments" because I'm so spacey and absent-minded sometimes... and I'm not a real blonde. ;-) I have shown up at work with my dress inside-out numerous times. I've worn my underwear sideways too. A couple of weeks ago, I went outside to wait for my cab and stood there for 20 minutes before I realized I hadn't called one. I haven't bought groceries or cooked anything for myself in months.

I do things like forgetting when payday is and paying all my bills at once and not leaving myself enough to live on until the next pay day. Other times, I let bills go for months even though I have money to pay them. My phone and power have nearly been shut off a couple of times... and it's not because I can't afford to pay my bills. I make a decent salary. I just forget to pay my bills... or constantly tell myself I'll do it TOMORROW... and tomorrow takes a long time to get here sometimes.

My flat is a disaster. I feel like I'm a fraud at work. I look so well put-together and professional, but my home life is such a mess. All I do is procrastinate when I get home. I can't make myself do housework. My voicemail is full, but I can't make myself sit down and listen to the messages. I have piles of unopened mail. Today was the deadline for filing taxes, so I'm going to be filing late... again. I can't read a book anymore. I can't watch a tv show without doing something else at the same time. I just feel tired and brain-foggy all the time. I have actually started buying new underwear instead of doing laundry. That's how useless I am at home. I'm always running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get to work on time in the morning... I always oversleep and then I frantically try to get ready and then waste time looking for my misplaced keys or my sunglasses.

I'm going to talk to my doc about this. My friend thinks I need to be on a stimulant rather than an SSRI and a benzo. I hope you go talk to a doctor too. Living like this is frustrating... knowing that we're not living up to our full potential and feeling like we can't do things that other people find simple just leads to feelings of failure and depression and more anxiety. I procrastinate about everything. Right now I'm procrastinating about going to bed... like I do every night... and then I'll be exhausted in the morning and I'll oversleep, etc. Ugh.

Sorry for the rant. I just know what you're going through. You're not alone in this. I hope we both get the help we need. Cheers.

That's amazing! I feel like we have alot of the same exact issues! I, too don't pay my bills even when I have the money for them!! I'm going to have to call the electric company today to avoid a cut-off that's supposed to happen today. I've had the money forever. I just keep forgetting to pay it!

I, too have to set reminders and keep crazy amounts of notes for myself.

I also have anxiety and depression. I'm on Librium for the anxiety and I've given up on the depression. None of those SSRI's have helped me except prozac.

I'm afraid if I go to the doctor and tell him I have ADD, he's gonna laugh at me. It seems so over-diagnosed and cliche.

Let's go to the doctor and get what we need! I'd like to email with you. We could help eachother.

I can't post it here. I'll see if I can PM it to you.

-Heather

Yes there is help for you! Finding a professional who has experience diagnosing and treating adult AD/HD is an important first step to take.

Hi there fruitylooper,

I have adult ADD and I'm 37. Has a general doctor at least ruled out any health conditions like hypothyroidism or other medical issue?

Once my family doctor ruled out this type of stuff, I found a good therapist who specializes in conducting diagnostic testing. And wow is all I can say. Total life change!

Good luck! I know what it is like to suffer other people's ignorance. I could tell you similar stories...

I am in my 40's and have lived with ADHD all my life. I can totally relate to the posts here. Seems to me, that no matter how I tried, I couldn't function. Like the previous post, I am the same. Running around like a wind-up toy, getting nothing accomplished. I would sit, rock to music, thinking about all the stuff I NEEDED to do, but could not actually do them and that only that added to the anxiety, frustration and causes depression, or deepens depression.

I could not function and live w/my ADHD without the medication for it. It has changed my life for the better. Most doctors are better educated about this diagnosis, so if you get a doctor that thinks you are a "seeker" of meds, one that looks at you funny and doesn't understand...by all means find another....and another if you must. But don't give up, the outcome far outweighs the inconvenience of going to a few doctors. Then again, there are now tests Dr.'s can perform for people w/ADD/ADHD to "prove" they have ADD/ADHD. I was given such a test by a doctor once. He said a score of 15 or better was ADHD and I scored 35!!! Please get the help you need!!!

There are many useful life tools that an ADD/ADHD person can use. Maybe we can tell/share each other about things that have worked for us and help one another?? I know I would appreciate any advice on what works! Bless you and let us know how it is going!