[sunrise]

My mom was telling me the other day that she had been to see a psychiatrist for diagnosis of her cognitive difficulties and memory-related problems (is it Alzheimers? something else?). We talked about her visit to this pdoc and since we were on the topic, I shared with her that I had recently begun seeing a psychiatric nurse practitioner. I told her my therapist had referred me to her because I had a lot of ADD-like symptoms. My mom, said, what's ADD? I said, "Attentition Deficit Disorder." She said, "Phooey, you don't have ADD." She sounded kind of angry. I said, well, my therapist didn't say I had it, just that I had symptoms consistent with it and he referred me to this specialist for help with diagnosis. My symptoms could be caused by something besides ADD and the PNP is looking into that. She is giving me tests for ADD..." As soon as I said "ADD", she interrupted me and said again forcefully, "Phooey." She was really invested in my not having ADD. I dropped the topic by trying to minimize the ADD possibility. I didn't dare tell her the PNP had prescribed medication to help with my symptoms. My mom just seemed so disturbed and rejecting of it. It made me feel kind of bad. Why should she care so much? Shouldn't she want to see me work on symptoms that are negatively affecting my life? Does she me as perfect or something?

Sheeesh, I'm never telling her anything again. It is a good thing I never mentioned to her that a couple of years ago I had major clinical depression.

[chaotic13]

I get the same response from my H, only he doesn't use "Phooey". It is hard to deal with. Sounds like your mom, your co-worker, and my H all went to the same medical school. It is so hard but we just need to tune them out

A while back I wondered what my parents would say today, knowing that there is a more positive way of treating kids with this disorder. I wonder if they would deny that I have it too. They would have to admit that I just wasn't bad or possessed by the devil or what ever it was they thought.

[sunrise]

Thanks, chaotic13.

The interaction with my mother really made me feel like the relationship is not reciprocal. I listened very patiently, with interest, to my mother tell of her visit to the pdoc, and how next she is going to a neuro-psychologist. I was concerned about her health and symptoms. But when it was my turn to share a challenge I was facing, all I got was "phooey." My mom talks about her and my dad's health problems to me all the time. I guess this is just an example of how the children are supposed to listen and not speak. When I had surgery in January, my mother was very concerned. But somehow ADD does not qualify as "real" or a true concern to her. It's very strange. I guess it really doesn't matter what others think--I will continue to take care of my own health and work on my challenges.

[chaotic13]

Again I can relate to your comments regarding a non-reciprocal relationship. We are expected is sit and be attentive while they describe their various aches, and pains. And by all means, don't even remotely seem like you are able to comprehend or have experienced similar situations in our own life, 'cause all our challenges are simply phooey. We create our own problems because we ALLOW ourselves to be so distracted and ALLOW our minds to go in fifth different directions or we ALLOW ourselves to procrastinate. If we would just buckle down we would have any problems. I don't know about you but I am frequently told that I just don't know what it is like living with pain everyday. Whoopsie, this is a bit of a rant... sorry

[(JD)]

It's curious that your mom is concerned about alzheimer's and you have ADD. Recent studies have shown that UNtreated ADD/ADHD doubles your risk of getting Alzheimer's... so keep pushing for help, medicine!

[chaotic13]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Recent studies have shown that UNtreated ADD/ADHD doubles your risk of getting Alzheimer's

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Wow! now this is interesting. How did they define "treated"? Stimulants or other pharmacological interventions, psychotherapy, or of course my favorite-- candle exercises? Seems like these would have to be epidemiological studies looking at prevalence of Alzheimer's in treated and untreated people. I'm imagining one of the study subjects as a 90 yr old lady on Ritalin kick'en *** in the rest home chess tournament.

Just curious.

[sunrise]

Had another incident today.

My boss is quite forgetful and can get overwhelmed sometimes by the enormity of what we face (possible unemployment), and that keeps her from getting essential pieces/chunks done, that we need to get done (in order to not become unemployed). She was having one of these moments today, where she was falling into gloom from getting overwhelmed, and I tried to give her a pep talk, and I shared with her the strategy of "chunking" (yeah, right, who am I to give advice on this?) So I mentioned I was reading this little book with practical and helpful solutions on how to get organized, accomplish goals etc., and the book talked about the "chunking" strategy. She seemed interested and asked the name of the book. "10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD," I said. Now the whole point of my advice was to keep her from getting depressed and helping her to move on with our project, not where I had gotten this advice from. Immediately after I told her the title of the book, she said decisively, "you don't have ADD," and then turned away from me. Now I never said to her that I did have ADD. I can find a book useful that is written about geniuses, actors, or spiritually enlightened beings, but that doesn't mean I am one. She could have asked, "oh, do you have adult ADD?" But, no, she makes a bald statement as if she knows everything. Why is she so negative? Why does she think she can diagnose me? She's not a medical professional. Even my PNP hasn't officially diagnosed me, as we are focusing on dealing with my symptoms. My boss's reaction is just like my mother's "phooey" comment. Sheeesh. I was trying to be helpful and I get this "you don't have ADD" crap.

[chaotic13]

I don't get how intelligent people can react so closed minded. I read a lot of different things. Just because you don't have ADHD doesn't you can learn more about it or benefit from some of the organizational strategies. I don't ever see myself saying "You don't have X!" I might say: Do you really see yourself having X condition. Or What made you pick that book up? If I knew something about the condition and didn't see you has having it, I would likely assume you were reading it because some other family member or friend had the condition.

[(JD)]

I heard Don Colbert, MD state this on national tv. (he rattled some details of the study which I didn't write down.)

[chaotic13]

Thanks Sky. I did my own little search. I saw where several authors mentioned the possible link. However when I looked up the actual research it was WAY over my head. Neurotransmitters....blah, blah...blah. I was just curious...I fixed that in about 20 minutes. :-)

[Simcha]

sunrise,

I'm never surprised anymore about the sheer ignorance that abounds regarding the diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

One of the more common reactions I have run across as an adult with other adults who don't have the disorder, is that they ignorantly believe that ADHD is simply a moral failing, and that the behaviors (which they have stereotyped in their minds) that a person with ADHD has, is something within their control. That it is simply laziness or stupidity on the part of the adult with ADHD. In other words, that the ADHD adult isn't TRYING hard enough, and in their minds, that makes them a failure.

That is why they do not want to associate anything in any way with the ADHD "label." Another type of ignorant adult would be the one that thinks ADHD is only a disorder of childhood, not adults. Obviously, this is just arrogance and ignorance on their part, and it's easily shot down. Other common reactions are based off of the advertising of the drug Ritalin, and the false perception that the stimulants are bad for you, that they are addictive, and that adults are drug seeking.

I do have ADHD, and since the time I was diagnosed, I've taken it upon myself to become as educated as I possibly can be about ADHD.
I don't often share the fact that I have ADHD with others, simply because I don't always have the energy to go into an explanation with someone. I figure they can read a book or two before they try to tell me what they think ADHD is. Your boss is just another of these people who have neither the skill, or knowledge to even begin to tell you what they think ADHD (or some other mental disorder) is. I'd shrug her comment off, and say good riddance.

Personally, I think ADHD has some good aspects. For instance, I think far faster than most people, and when I can control this, I can do really good things and can be really productive and creative.

If you think you might have ADHD sunrise, I would certainly get tested for it with a professional in diagnosing ADHD in adults. These are hard to find, but well worth it. Not every mental health professional has the skills to diagnose such a complicated disorder in adults. It's not like with children.
If you ever want any resources, let me know.

(((((Sunrise)))))),
Maybe a good strategy to use (if you get another chance) would be to ask, "Tell me, what are the symptoms of AD/HD?" I'll bet that neither your mother or your boss will be able to list all of the possible symptoms. You can either fill them in, or tell them that they need to read your book, LOL. (Then after they read the book, tell them that they must have AD/HD since they read it.) I hope this helps.

[mak62184]

Yeah, I get people who do not believe that I have it either. I was diagnosed when I was younger because I had behavioral problems in school with staying on task, paying attention, and other similar things that go along. Well, I fortunately am not taking medication now, and have not for years. Things have gotten better in that sense because I graduated college and have been proving everyone wrong for so long with doing things that people told me I would never do on time or ever accomplish. So for that reason, I can see where people might not know that I have it. However, I mention it sometimes, just as a little joke, and nobody believes me because I'm not hyper. That is the misconception about ADD. I'm sick of everyone assuming that you have to be hyperactive to have it.

[Cantabrigian]

I have just been diagnosed and am trying to decide who to tell, especially with respect to work. Personally I am over the moon about it - I knew something had been wrong all my life but had had no idea what it was, and had though much of it was weakness of character rather than a treatable, pathological condition that I have no reason to feel bad about! That is why we get the self esteem issues I guess. Anyway, what I think is great news may be differently received by others. It will help me improve my utility at work when we get the treatment right but am worried that it will somehow be seen as a black mark. Maybe I should just start my own business .

Kind regards,
Cantabrigian.