My son wants to ***

I feel so bad for him. He's too young to have to deal with this.
Too young to understand, too.
I know, cause its hard for me to really understand, too.
Just tell him another kid is pulling for him.
You are a super Mom, to do what you are for him.

Nina, both of your children are lucky to have you for a mom. G knows that you will love him no matter what. I am glad that it was a migrain headache and nothing more serious. At least he got fast help with this. Please give him my love, and you take some too!
Altheia

Mike... you seem to be a very sweet young man. Thank you for your compassion!

awww... your words mean so much to me

to know I've got a best friend on the other side of the ocean that cares about me and my family like you do... is really special
please know I value your support every single day
I also want you to know that your family is in my thoughts.

((((((((((( Altheia & family )))))))))))))

Nina-I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I wish there was something I could do to make everything perfect for you. You are such a wonderful person and wonderful mother.

awww... Melinda... you're a precious mother to your children and you're my compassionate and caring friend.
I've missed you! I hope your son's feeling better.

Now we at least have an app on Thursday to see a doc and psychologist with our son. We need to be really firm with them... not for them to take our son's condition lightly. I really do hate having to be that way... but no choice. One would think people would understand the seriousness of the matter without anyone having to use a "harsh" tone.

((((((( Melinda, daughter, sons & hubby ))))))))))

Yesterday we took our son to see 2 docs. Finally someone listened!!!

Our son acted out pretty much at the app... which in a way was good so they could see how he's acting. After a short while - hubby had to go elsewhere with our son and I talked to the docs alone. For 2 hours... we discussed our son's condition and how to give him the proper help. To cut it short... he's as from today taking Zoloft (Sertraline) along with his Risperdal. If the Zoloft doesn't show any effect at all in 3 weeks... then he's going to be put on Strattera for his ADHD. Like they said there are 2 sides of this: 1. the sadness and feeling worthlessness... or call it depression 2. the impulses making it much "easier" for him to act out towards us and trying to hurt himself.
So we're going to try 2 different approaches when it comes to meds.

Hubby's going to change his work schedule and work 25 % less - for me not to be home alone with both kids at the same time. This is only for 2 weeks though... in this first stage.

If our son get into more actions when it comes to him being suicidal... then we at least know where to go now... the place we where at yesterday (Child and Youth Psychiatric Care) in weekdays until 4 pm, after that and in the weekends - PIVA (Psychiatric Intensive Care Ward), but that place is most of all for adults... so our son going there would not be so good - seeing all that might be going on in there.

The thing is... I'm so exhausted and broke into pieces crying like crazy in therapy this Wednesday. I'm still going to be the one "holding the fort" so to speak. I want to do that... I feel a need to do that... I love my family... but I'm falling apart... I can't sleep because of all the worry... I have headaches... my tummy's acting out... I'm feeling a lot of anxiety...

I hope things get better for you all, Day.
The meds should help, and just do as you have been, keep telling him that he's a good boy, and not worthless.

You are doing a great job being his Mom, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I wish my Mom had cared as much about me, as you clearly do for him.

Always remember, that theres a kid here, praying for you all.

(((((((((((((( Nina & family )))))))))))))))))

Your family is so lucky to have such a wonderful advocate in you for their health and wellbeing. Please don't forget to take care of YOU when you get a few moments....each and every day.

I'm so sorry it has been such a battle.....hopefully in time you will be able to see what all the lessons were from this hardship. I know right now it's exhausting and frustrating. I am very happy to hear that someone finally listened to you. Prayers to you and your family for continued healing and peace.

Much love & respect to you

sabby

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Nina and family)))))))))))))))))

I have missed you too Nina. Sorry things have just been so crazy for me. I am so glad to read that someone is finally listening and hopefull you will start to get help for him that he needs. I am sorry to hear though how exhausted you are. You are the most wonderful person, mother, wife I know. I wish I could help in some way. Your family is very lucky to have you. I think about you always. You are in my prayers.

Your post makes me want to cry- I really feel for all of you. The difficulties that each one of you must be facing right now.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not very religious, but perhaps getting him into church may help lift his spirits somewhat? And everyone else's as well.

I wish you all the best in this difficult time.

(((((((daynnight)))))))

Mike, Sabby, Melinda and confoozed - Thank you!

It seems like you all have a wonderful & supportive relationship with each other & I don't want to intrude. I just wanted to express my concern for your son & understanding for all that your family is doing through. You see, I did similar things when I was young (not that young, though, I started trying to throw myself out of moving cars when I was 15 & overdosed on my room-mate's Valium & such things--I was at a boarding school, etc.).

Unfortunately, I did not have as caring & persistent parents as you are as my parents had their own problems (mother bipolar & alcoholic/father alcoholic; hence, my being in a boarding school as they really didn't want to be parents at all). I didn't receive adequate help & self-medicated with cocaine, speed, but mostly alcohol for many years. In fact, my 1st child was born 2 1/2 mos. premature due to my smoking & drinking while pregnant.

The guilt over doing that to my daughter plus not wanting to turn into my mother who by this time had succeeding in committing suicide after many attempts drove me to get psychiatric help. I was misdiagnosed for MANY years & struggled for a long time with bad side effects from meds, no real results or relief from the depression, but I continued to fight for a better quality of life for myself in order to raise my children more effectively (2 by then).

Finally, at age 45 (!!) I was dxed as bipolar I & ADHD & anxiety & I was put on a combo of 6 meds that worked (after a year of trial & error & 2 different pdocs). I also get indiv, therapy once a week & attend dialectical behavioral therapy once a week. Cured? No. Easy? No. But much improved & have hope & can see results & hope for a better future & I'm 54 so I think your son has a bright future ahead of him with getting aggressive care NOW.

All the best to you & your family.--Suzy

((((((((((Day)))))))))

I know you are exhausted and upset. It will take some time, but now at least you have some direction to go and steps to take. Be good to yourself and do what you can to treat yourself as well as you treat your children. Try for time to rest and sleep and eat decently. Taking it one day at a time, you CAN do this and things will improve. I do care and hope things will begin to turn around soon!

Leslie

Suzy5654... thank you for telling me your lifestory... I really feel for you reading about what you've gone through in life. Thank you for giving me some input on how life can change in the right direction.

((((((((( Suzy5654 ))))))))))

Multipixie9... thank you for your encouraging words!
sleep... yeah that would be nice...

sweetie... I just saw your post....sometimes.. the power of your strength.. leaves me speechless... your caring... your sheer willpower.. to continue on... to get help for your son... you are.. MOM... with capital letters....

I am so very sorry.... that your son is experiencing this trauma ... and it is traumatic.... for him... for you... I am just so very sorry... I wish I could help him... personally help him......

There is so much more that I want to say to you... words of comfort... yet.. I am at a loss...

Please know... you.. your son... and your family.. reside in my heart... and are in my prayers.....

:Speechless: aww... freewill... you're just amazing! I don't know if I deserve all those words about my being... I just know that I try to do everything I can for my children.
Your support mean so much to me! You struggle so hard in your own life and still you take the time and energy to think about and care about my family.... thanks.
(((((((( freewill ))))))))))

Hi Nina how are you and your son doing today? I really wish I could be there to help you. I feel so bad.

Melinda... please don't feel bad. You're a bright light in my life being so supportive with all your words. I know how you struggle for your children and I admire you so for that.
Just knowing I can write to you and you knowing what I mean... it feels so soothing.
Today G had an headache again... He acted out at the respite in the form of bad words and trying to hit his contact person... but at least no talk about wanting to die.

How are your sons doing, Melinda??? How are YOU?

Love & Hugs

I am glad to know that your son didn't talk about wanting to die, that is a sign of improvement and hope I think.
It makes me feel good to hear that I mean that to you. You are a huge inspiration to me. You are an amazing wonderful person. I look up to you in so many ways. I am doing ok, except for not taking my medication for a few days. My boys seem to be doing better. I am finally getting some answers and understanding about my 10 year old. My 9 year olds Risperdal was increased from 0.25 mg to 0.50 mg which seems to be helping alot with the tics and adhd along with the strattera.

Melinda wrote:
I'm so happy to hear that your little guys are feeling better!
Please, try to take care of YOU too. I know how hard it is to find the time and energy to do so... but try. Write to me anytime, Melinda! I'm here to listen.

Thank you for being YOU!

Tomorrow we're going to have a network meeting with almost all of the people who are involved with giving our son the support and help he needs.

We're going to be about 15 persons and hubby and I are leading it all. I'll do most of the talking (since my mouth is always moving anyway) and hubby will take notes. We usually complement each other pretty well at these meetings.

I'm just so worried about sitting there tomorrow bringing up all the different matters and issues - concerning G - that we have to take care of and delegate to the right persons. It takes so much energy to lead these meeting! Energy is something I don't have much of these days. Well... it has to be done and it will be done. This is something needed to get everything around our son organized in a satisfying way.

My OCD hits in real bad every time at the network meetings... I'm analyzing everything in detail. How do I sit on my chair... how do I talk... do I look the others in their eyes enough... do I talk too much... do I talk in a correct way... ??? Do they think I'm weird... do they sit and think about the fact that I've got Asperger's too... do they judge me... do they look at how fat I am...??? In the middle of all these worries and questions I still talk and do my "job". Exhausting!
But it's for my son... so I'll do it over and over again... I love him and he needs me and his dad. Actually it's also for our daughter... since the help G gets will affect her life too.

I just had to write a bit this evening...

This thread is really helping me to go on - feeling all the compassion in your words. Thank you, all!!!!

to you, "J" "G" and beautiful "E"

Your strenght will carry you thru my friend.. This I know!

Much love and many prayrers to you and yours.......



/m

Thank you for your encouraging words, my dear friend! You being there for me and my family - warms my heart. Although you're in pain and not sleeping much... you still care about us far away in Sweden... that's really special.

((((((( hurtsme & wife ))))))))