[birdcrazy]

Basically I'm really obsessive about stuff and it concerns me. For example, with Sonic the Hedgehog, I've written guides to games, done pictures, wrote stories, etc... but one time I even took a company car without asking to get a game on release day and got in trouble and I've also set up a secret dial-up connection to a phone line that was not mine to download Sonic movies. Back in school, I used to memorize bird names and even draw birds on my homework. I've done stuff like this for other things too. I've even become obsessed with people. The last person I became obsessed with however liked me back and I'm going to get married in a couple of weeks, so that turned out well.

But I don't seem to fit other things with autism, like for example I look people in the eye. I have a feeling however when i was younger and lacked social skills I might have gotten a dx.

I am wondering if I should bring up this behavior to my pdoc. Basically I am already dxed bipolar and I am afraid that they will blame it on that, or say like my last pdoc that my personality is too "warm" to have autism.

I try not to act this way anymore because I have become self conscious. I almost got obsessed with type 2 diabetes but stopped myself from doing it. I also want to know if I should be so hard on myself like this or not.

[-jimi-]

Everyone is not a clear-cut case of something. There are no strict lines between conditions.

What I've noticed with myself having Asperger's and ADD is that I'm socially more competent than many with Asperger's, because my ADD has put me in social situations I messed up and learned from. Also I don't focus a lot on single things which is common for Asperger's, because ADD wants to do more than one thing. Having a second condition can actually make something milder. Maybe your bipolar made you better at social situations.

[Indie'sOK]

I agree with jimrat. I have mild Asperger's and social anxiety disorder. So not only do I have difficulty understanding relationships, I fear them on top of it. Despite this, I'm probably a bit better at things like reading people's facial expressions and understanding metaphors than the average aspie, but this doesn't mean I don't have AS. It's a spectrum, after all.

This is the way I visualize the autism spectrum. Think of a swimming pool that gets gradually deeper. I'm at the shallow end, up to my ankles in the water because my case is mild. Further down at the end of the pool are the most severe cases of autism, those that have the worst difficulty speaking and learning. In between are people with many varying degrees of severity.

I hope this helps. It's how I think of it, anyway.

Some of what you describe maybe AS.

People can learn social skills as they age. This is well known knowledge in the AS community.

Lack of eye contact is only one part of the "marked impairments in the use of non-verbal behaviour." Not everyone with AS has problems in this area. Some people actually have good interpersonal skills. They just cannot make and/or maintain relationships. Note: Quite a lot of people with AS have one or two close friends. Many are married and even have children.

Everybody is different.

[Callista]

Autism isn't one thing that you have or don't have, really; it's more of a continuum. Maybe you have really strong special interests (that's what they call them in the autism community--like hobbies, but all-consuming), but you don't have a lot of other traits. If it only happens when you're hypomanic/manic, maybe that's part of it; a reasonable assumption to make. But if it's constant, present even when you're in balance, it could be totally unrelated.

How attached to labels is your psychologist? Do you really need another label to address this? Would he be willing to work with you on learning moderation, so that your special interests do not interfere with your responsibilities? By this I mean moderation for YOU--not striving toward the typical, because typical is not the same thing as ideal. Special interests can get very intense, because they serve so many purposes--relaxation, engaging your mind, even as a bridge to people with similar interests.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Hi, disclaimer this is my first time in this forum Im usually in the borderline forum, so forgive me if I say anything wrong.

So everyone in this thread bring up great points about AS and such, I have shown many traits of AS myself, but thus far been shot down, I want to bring up the possibility to the pdoc I go see on the 17th of this month (along with other things) My whole life I have had poor social skills, it's not like my parents didn't try with me, I was in Girl Scouts from pre-k through 7th grade, basketball 4th-6th grade, band/marching band from 6th grade on now going into my third season of college marching band. I loved all the activities I was in, but I felt I never quit fit in with anyone, I was either all on my own in a corner or something like that, or hanging around the adults/parents of each group. It's like I never gained any ability to talk and or interact with other kids in appropriate ways, I was either under-reactive or over-reactive to situations. And as of highschool, I gaind enough skills to atleast make appropriate small talk with others, and bacame attached to a friend who I no longer talk to, (lives in another state now), but still I couldn't figure out why I didn't quite fit in, why I always stayed off in my own little world, by myself at lunch, hide in the band room locker rooms etc. I never really made any close friends at all that were my age, and now I just tag along my younger sisters' when they're friends are around, they're 17 and 12, and at school I don't socialize unless I have to, others that I meet tend to find me a bit odd. Yet I try to act normal, try to have small talk, try to socialize with the other band kids, but I feel they don't see my efforts and find me quite immature for my age, Im 20yrs old. In a way they're right, but on the other hand Im quite mature for my age in other areas. At a young age, I would speak with a higher level of vocabulary than other kids, when I did speak that is, I had high moral values and tended to be more logical, yet acted on impulse and misbehaved quite a bit.

I also have a great span of memory which isn't a problem I like it, and some of it about 90% is photographic or visual based, I tend to memorize things very easily, spelling was easy for me in elementary school. i remember exact dates easily, not all but a lot, and some small details from those dates, I also do memorize music I play easily, but I have vision problems that will obstruct me from memorizing it faster. I can pull random facts out of no where, things I read up on, research etc.

It isn't just the social skils and relationships I have issues with, I have other problems as well, sensitivity to touch, pain, light, sound (band/marching band helped that a little) not liking places with huge crowds, malls busy stores places with a lot of commotion are an example, yet I like fireworks shows/laser lightshows and don't need earplugs but when they're over I get very socially drained. The same can happen even with small family gatherings after a certain time I get very drained, and tend to get snappy and fussy with others. But im not quite sure if they're attributed to my visual impairment, and or another mental health condition, because I can understand things that people with AS typically don't understand, I have a great sense of empathy towards others, though I do not show it giving visible affection is quite difficult for me, yet I can listen to and even give advice to others (mostly family) on their problems. I try to show the correct emotion when appropriate, some facial emotions I can read, basics, but I do have a visual impairment which I have to take into consideration. I understand some abstract concepts can think outside the box, and metaphors, though sarcasm is hard for me as are some types of jokes to understand, Im a pretty litteral person. i can also use my hands alot when speaking though that may just be a family/personality thing. But I express myself better in a personal way through writing, and an acidemic way through speaking, that I find odd.

So like i said idk if it truely is AS or another condition/mental health wise with similar traits, Im not self diagnosing, or looking for you all to daignose me, just for some feed back on whether or not I should bring this up to the pdoc I will be seeing, since Im pretty much trying to get evaluated for the first time since the age of 12. I just have a natural need to know things and won't let certain things go until I know them; I always get told Im on the same subject, like a broken record, and I over think and over analyze things too much. So I would apprciate some feed back please and thank you

Take care, and apologies for the post being so long I tend to ramble quite a bit. Hugs

[birdcrazy]

What I am also thinking about is the fact that if I have AS, what could the doctor do about it anyway?

I didn't even see my obsessiveness as a problem until I learned about AS, in fact when I was in school, my hobbies were encouraged. I've had two therapists think I have AS, one of these tried to convince my pdoc with no luck of convincing him. Others have told me however I don't seem to have it. I just don't know.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by birdcrazy

What I am also thinking about is the fact that if I have AS, what could the doctor do about it anyway?

I didn't even see my obsessiveness as a problem until I learned about AS, in fact when I was in school, my hobbies were encouraged. I've had two therapists think I have AS, one of these tried to convince my pdoc with no luck of convincing him. Others have told me however I don't seem to have it. I just don't know.

I have that same question/thought also. I think I just want to know to help myself and not be labled and passed on as something Im not, even if a doctor can't do much to help, I still feel it is good to know, idk just my pov.

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by birdcrazy

What I am also thinking about is the fact that if I have AS, what could the doctor do about it anyway?

I didn't even see my obsessiveness as a problem until I learned about AS, in fact when I was in school, my hobbies were encouraged. I've had two therapists think I have AS, one of these tried to convince my pdoc with no luck of convincing him. Others have told me however I don't seem to have it. I just don't know.

Same here - I just don't know. I just want some validation.

Most of my obsessions are normal or acceptable. I have three main ones, that have been with me since childhood. I also develop new ones, that are short in duration, quite regularly. These brief obsessions can be extreme, and even worse than my main ones. I'd love to break out of this, because it can really interfere with life. Sometimes, I will forget to eat and bathe. Yikes. I had one so bad a few months back, that I did not talk to anyone and leave my apartment for 2 weeks. I drank black coffee for six days, because I was "too busy" to walk (two blocks) to the local IGA for some table cream. During that time, I also lost some weight.

Note: What I experience is not mania or any other mental illness.

Does this happen to you Birdcrazy?

I have had three obsessions that were really bizarre. One was a person, and the other two were odd objects, that were pieces from everyday items. These really troubled me. I would often wonder if I was nuts or not. Suppressing them was extremely difficult.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by Didgee Eeyou

Most of my obsessions are normal or acceptable. I have three main ones, that have been with me since childhood. I also develop new ones, that are short in duration, quite regularly. These brief obsessions can be extreme, and even worse than my main ones. I'd love to break out of this, because it can really interfere with life. Sometimes, I will forget to eat and bathe. Yikes. I had one so bad a few months back, that I did not talk to anyone and leave my apartment for 2 weeks. I drank black coffee for six days, because I was "too busy" to walk (two blocks) to the local IGA for some table cream. During that time, I also lost some weight.

Note: What I experience is not mania or any other mental illness.

Does this happen to you Birdcrazy?

I have had three obsessions that were really bizarre. One was a person, and the other two were odd objects, that were pieces from everyday items. These really troubled me. I would often wonder if I was nuts or not. Suppressing them was extremely difficult.

So obsession don't have to be the "stereotypical ones", I go through obsessions not the ocd type, that will last for 1 week to a month long on the most random subjects, too many to name at the moment.

Also Ive had quite a few obsessions that have lasted since early childhood, they being: Animals primarily cats, weather/climate, history/science outside of school, peoples birthday's, music which I turned into a hobby, puzzles (no room to bo them though), glow sticks, and light up or flashing things that one buy's for say a fireworks show, fireworks, lazer lights and some types of fire, astromnomy/astrology; are just some of my obsessions.

And these aren't even impulsive or manic like obsessions that I know for sure. also i can relate to the not speaking or going places thing, 85=90% of my day I spend verbally silent, only talking in my head, and I don't go anywhere unless I need or want to, and I have to mentally prepear myself as I get overwhelmed, agitated and drained in social situations and crowed places.

[birdcrazy]

With me, obsessions when they start off are very intense, I will forget to eat and stuff i will become so absorbed into it. I often can't think of anything else. Then they slowly die down.

OctobersBlackRose,

I would mention AS. Your visual impairment can explain some of what you have experienced, but that does not mean AS should not be considered. It is possible, but I think the visual impairment may make it more difficult to diagnose. The other senses can compensate for visual problems, such as hearing. (My friend is visually impaired and has very acute hearing.) AS could explain the sensory sensitivities.

Other conditions to consider are OCD, social anxiety disorder, schizoid personality disorder, nonverbal learning disability, personality disorder, substance abuse, sensory integration disorder, hearing impairment, etc...

What kind of relationship problems are you referring to? This is different from BPD. Abandonment fears, impulsivity and erratic emotions cause them trouble. In AS, relating to others is due to difficulties in communicating, both verbally and non-verbally. This makes befriending others and maintaining those friendships hard.

When conversing, this is what goes through my mind: What do I say? Topic??? When can I approach? Am I in their space? When do I shut my mouth? Am I boring? (I still haven't figured this out.) Sometimes, I have no clue, so I will ask. Human interaction is quite challenging. Existing in the periphery is my life.

Empathy and AS is misunderstood. I feel a great amount of empathy. Sometimes, I miss a person's troubles, because I am busy or I miss the nonverbal messages. I also have a very hard time expressing myself with actions. Hugs, kisses etc...don't come naturally. It is effort, but I try, because I feel empathy and I care deeply about others, especially my good friend and my family.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Didgee Eeyou, thanks for your feed back,

I misworded relationship issues, and like you mentioned social communication issues is a better explanation, I have trouble with verbal/non-verbal communication as well, having to always pause and ask myself questions while in a conversation, worrying about what to say, what the other persons means by what they say, saying something wrong or out of place/irrelavent. And I tend to either miss or take things the wrong way, I have trouble with sarcasm as well. I have a very litteral mind.

I also take my visual impairment and an unfused bone in my left ear into consideration, as well as not ruling out other conditions, I do have social anxiety. and I do understand that AS can and is harder to diagnose in female due to a number of issues. But after doing a research paper in an english class a few years back where ASD was my topic, I read up more on AS and it seemed to make a lot of sense to me, it even made sense to my Mom up to a certain point. Given my lack of social communication skills sice early childhood, my cut off of oxygen at birth for 10+ minutes, lack of showing affection towards others, being hypersensitive to touch, crowded places, and other sensory issues.

The empathy part like you said is misunderstood though, because for me it is completely internal, not external, I care deeply for others, sometimes too much. So that made more sense.

Again thank you for your feed back, Im definatly going to bring this up to the pdoc on the 17th and probably my therapist on this upcomming monday as that is my next appointment.

Originally Posted by OctobersBlackRose

The empathy part like you said is misunderstood though, because for me it is completely internal, not external, I care deeply for others, sometimes too much.

I have never thought of empathy as external and internal. It makes absolute sense. Well said!

[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by Didgee Eeyou

I have never thought of empathy as external and internal. It makes absolute sense. Well said!

Yeah after you mentioned this in your reply to me:

Empathy and AS is misunderstood. I feel a great amount of empathy. Sometimes, I miss a person's troubles, because I am busy or I miss the nonverbal messages. I also have a very hard time expressing myself with actions. Hugs, kisses etc...don't come naturally. It is effort, but I try, because I feel empathy and I care deeply about others, especially my good friend and my family.

It made completee sense to me to see empathy as an internal and or or external feeling. I to have problems showing affection to others, even to immediate family, I rarely ever do hugs unless I have to out of respect to someone within my family circle, who isn't so aware of my issues with hugs. Kisses are only to my mom, grandma and grandpa, more of a habit then a natural thing. But other than that I have to work really hard to show any external empathy toward others so I don't seem cold or uncaring, because of the non-verbal cues I may miss, or because I may not know what to say or how to deal with someones problem even though on the inside internally I want to do everything I can to fix their problems, fight their fights.

But all I can do is listen and give some advice, hoping I don't say something impolite or take something they say the wrong way, or a look the have on their face, and body language the wrong way, missing that connection. I tend to get into many fights, arguments and the such with others because of things I can't understand, I have lost friends due to the social communication issues I have, my temperment, maturity, I'm mature is a lot of areas, but in others I have the maturity of a child, mostly when it comes to behavior, emotions, and my social skills.

I literally don't know how to express my feeling and emotions verbally, when talking to my Mom for example she will ask how I feel, why I am acting a certain way etc, and I can't find words to decribe how I feel, thus becomming either extremely agitated and frustrated, or so drained I become very quiet almost non-verbal, which niether helps because she gets angry either way. My mom shows signs of bipolar and traits of bpd, and my 17yr old sister, my dad, and myself have confronted her on it, but she denies anything is going on, needless to say no matter how I approach an awkward situation and she is in a "mood" and Im on the verge of a meltdown, because I am missing something communication wise, verbal/non-verbal, or I can't figure out if her anger was due to something I said or did and if I ask her about it she gets more upset and basically says "not everything is about you" making me even more confused, and frustrated and needless to say it will never end well. My Mom isn't a horrible person or mother at all, she is an extremely nice person a person who likes to be aroung others very extroverted, but she has her own issues and that's when things get bad. But I love her and care about her deeply, in 2008 on Thanksgiving night she almost, well was dead for 93 seconds due to a massive heartattck, and everyone around me was crying, upset etc when we got the call, my youngest sister and I were at my grandparents, my middle sister was at home and called 911. But while everyone had visible emotion and such, I showed no visible emotion, I didn't cry, I was upset I was scared, I almost lost my mom, but I had no ability to express any of that emotion verbally or externally. I felt really bad for not showing emotion, but I just can't, and others see it as Im cold or self centered, when Im really hurting on the inside.

So because of all of my issues I have a tendency to spend my days as an observer/listener, and about 85% to 90% of my days are spent in silence, and it doesn't bother me, but it bothers everyone else. And I have no idea how Im going to bring any of this up to my T or the pdoc I will be seeing, more things to figure out, it just doesn't stop.

Apologies for my rambling, and thanks for your understanding.

[UnhingedHick]

Originally Posted by birdcrazy

Basically I'm really obsessive about stuff and it concerns me. For example, with Sonic the Hedgehog, I've written guides to games, done pictures, wrote stories, etc... but one time I even took a company car without asking to get a game on release day and got in trouble and I've also set up a secret dial-up connection to a phone line that was not mine to download Sonic movies. Back in school, I used to memorize bird names and even draw birds on my homework. I've done stuff like this for other things too. I've even become obsessed with people. The last person I became obsessed with however liked me back and I'm going to get married in a couple of weeks, so that turned out well.

But I don't seem to fit other things with autism, like for example I look people in the eye. I have a feeling however when i was younger and lacked social skills I might have gotten a dx.

I am wondering if I should bring up this behavior to my pdoc. Basically I am already dxed bipolar and I am afraid that they will blame it on that, or say like my last pdoc that my personality is too "warm" to have autism.

I try not to act this way anymore because I have become self conscious. I almost got obsessed with type 2 diabetes but stopped myself from doing it. I also want to know if I should be so hard on myself like this or not.

being obsessed is the obviose one. right now we are obessed with john barrowman this obession has brought us further issues as it now shows though in out did/mpd greatly.
if you geel that you need to mention it to him then why dont you. apergers ihas quite spasific dx's but im sure if it made you feel more comftable i would go for it. : )

-- atrus