Ok so my son has Aspergers in the worst way. he's fine at home and interacts and outside of his unique behaviors (mild ones) he's a normal, good boy and does fine. Even between his brother and himself he is the one that usually complies with my requests (like taking the garbage out, etc) more quickly... so anyway..

He's doing horribly in school. Surprise, right? Yeah so I got a letter from teh school asking for a meeting to figure out how to best enable him to do better in school. First, I'm going to that but I looked up alternative schools and found one that has programs for autism to teach kids social skills.

So i'm posting for this reason: Does anyone know or has experienced social skills classes for HFA or Aspergers?

[Travelinglady]

So far evidently no one does, given no responses as yet. But that doesn't mean that somebody won't answer it at some point!

[yellowted]

I am sure some schools will have special classes for this, here in England I know there is a school local to me that specialises in autism, it is a regular school where children interact in the same classes with regular children but have additional classes and support workers to help the Asperger kids integrate well. so please don't give up, they will be out there near you too x

[Callista]

"Problems with school" is a really broad category. What exactly is he having trouble with?

Have you considered asking for an aide for him? Some kids have those. If your kid could benefit maybe it's an option.

Originally Posted by Callista

"Problems with school" is a really broad category. What exactly is he having trouble with?

Have you considered asking for an aide for him? Some kids have those. If your kid could benefit maybe it's an option.

I suppose that was rather vague. I assume sometimes what I'm thinking is understood, sometimes without explaining deeper. O.o What I mean is that he's very smart (131 IQ) but due to his issues with social interaction - he doesn't talk to people unless absolutely necessary - and it is making it so he wont' ask for help. He's fallen behind in everything and I'm told the issues above are what the school thinks is causing it.

He has a special status in the school related to his Autism. I forget what they call it (some numbers) but they are trying to help him, he has a social interaction class specifically but it just all does not seem like enough.

I'm hoping to put him in the program in the summer. I think it could help. They actually allow a sibling to go along at a small cost and I think that might do him a world of good with his little brother (his voice and social liason ) there.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I suppose that was rather vague. I assume sometimes what I'm thinking is understood, sometimes without explaining deeper. O.o What I mean is that he's very smart (131 IQ) but due to his issues with social interaction - he doesn't talk to people unless absolutely necessary - and it is making it so he wont' ask for help. He's fallen behind in everything and I'm told the issues above are what the school thinks is causing it.

He has a special status in the school related to his Autism. I forget what they call it (some numbers) but they are trying to help him, he has a social interaction class specifically but it just all does not seem like enough.

I'm hoping to put him in the program in the summer. I think it could help. They actually allow a sibling to go along at a small cost and I think that might do him a world of good with his little brother (his voice and social liason ) there.

Maybe the teachers would be willing to check if he needs help, or maybe an aide could help with that but I'd be careful about that and make sure the aide is someone who treats your child well and doesn't make them overly uncomfortable...I only say that because when I was a kid some of the 'aides' seemed generally mean over all. I never had one but it seemed like a lot would get after the kids they were aides for things they couldn't exactly control.

But yeah I am 23 and I still can't approach someone I don't know and start talking to them.

[Callista]

Does he know how to figure out when he needs help? I often have trouble with this. I have an aide and a lot of help from disability services and the counseling center at my school, but I have a lot of trouble initiating contact with them, so I often need help but don't know that I have to ask for it--I just don't think of asking, or I think of it and then forget it. And I'm in college; this is a little kid. Recently I've had to basically arrange for them to check up on me whether I ask for it or not.

Gifted kids with disabilities often get their giftedness held against them. It's like, "You're so smart; why can't you do--" some skill that they're really bad at... and then people think they're just refusing or being rebellious or mean or something.

I assume sometimes what I'm thinking is understood, sometimes without explaining deeper.

Now that's interesting! See, this is something that happens with autism, so often--we have trouble juggling information about everybody's mental states, so we may forget that somebody doesn't know something, or assume that people have the same perspective we do; or conversely, make so few assumptions about people that we have to learn each person individually from the ground up! It's not uncommon for family members of autistics to have mild autistic traits themselves; I bet that's one of yours. It's probably a matter of processing stuff. We have kind of a one-track mind, a laser-pointer mind that's focused so intensely on one thing, to the exclusion of everything else.

I strongly advise you to not just teach your son how to do useful things, but teach him how to take advantage of the availability of various accommodations, including his IEP, any aides, any adjustments made to his classroom. If he can learn what he needs and how to ask for it, that will mean independence even when he still needs help with something, because he's the one controlling what sort of help he gets. Important skill for any disabled kid, there.

Hellion's caution about the possibility of abuse is pessimistic, but I have to admit that I've heard many people mention this problem: Support workers, caretakers, aides, taking advantage of the power gap between them and their clients to treat people badly, belittle or patronize them, or try to make their decisions for them. Probably one of the more important parts of learning self-advocacy is learning that you don't have to put up with that crap, and learning how to get yourself out of a situation where someone who has that kind of power over you is misusing it. In a perfect world, an aide would be an employee performing a service for an equal, but all too many of them seem to think that being an aide means being the boss, calling the shots, because the disabled person should thank their lucky stars that they're getting any help at all. You get one like that, you toss 'em; they're more trouble than they're worth.

[-jimi-]

I don't know what is going on but for me school was like this. Primary school was fine because I had an easy time learning, the students were kind and the level of social skills wasn't that important yet.

Middle school and things got a little worse. I found a friend and we latched onto each other at break times (she was later diagnosed ADHD). Sitting in class was OK as long as the students kept calm. Even if I wasn't a star at everything, I managed well enough in the most subjects.

Junior high was bad. We had a bad school with a bad reputation and there was a lot of teasing, bullying and even physical violence. I hated classes, they bored me to death, but they were at least quite safe. Even if some teachers couldn't keep the students calm and bullying happened inside the classroom, it was better than break time. Some of my issues were exclusion (we sat 2 and 2 and I just had some classes where I sat with someone), in classroom teasing and boredom.

Breaks were hell. Usually I came early to class by 20 minutes, because the least likely place to meet anyone was outside the classroom door, everyone stayed away until it was absolute time. It was boring but I was safe. I had no friends, there was no safe place. Sometimes the school library was open and that was the safest place because there was an adult present so you didn't get more than maybe a curse word and a slap when someone passed you by. But most of the time it was closed.

If I had a long break I opted to leave school, if it was short enough I just walked or biked around, if it was really long I went to the real library that was NOT boring and SAFE.

I wasn't the only student treated bad but I was picked on a lot. What really would have helped me would have been a safe study room for the breaks. With a strict teacher present. If we had been more atypicals that break room could have been used for playing games and interaction under supervision. As long as the teacher was strict enough, class time wasn't so bad. But some teachers just couldn't do it and those classes were hell too. Once a kid snapped a rubberband at my neck for a full hour and the teacher ignored it and I ended up with a giant bruise.

Sometimes I wish it had crossed my mind to attack people. Just once they got me so mad I chased after someone who tormented me and some students actually looked scared. But I really didn't have it in me. But when I think of it I would rather be in trouble for fighting back than being someone everyone could pick on.

Originally Posted by Callista

Does he know how to figure out when he needs help? I often have trouble with this. I have an aide and a lot of help from disability services and the counseling center at my school, but I have a lot of trouble initiating contact with them, so I often need help but don't know that I have to ask for it--I just don't think of asking, or I think of it and then forget it. And I'm in college; this is a little kid. Recently I've had to basically arrange for them to check up on me whether I ask for it or not.

You are so right on with this. One email I received from the school, the director said "he's so smart, but I'm afraid since he won't talk to anyone he won't ask for help when he needs it." So very true. That's one point I need to talk to them deeper about and you give me some ideas.. that maybe finding a way for them to check on him.. better yet, since even if they check on him he may not verbalize the reality that he needs help we need to find a way that would compell him to speak up when they ask. Maybe some incentives for him that when he's actually done well by asking for help he gets something in return. hmmm.. gears are turning.

Gifted kids with disabilities often get their giftedness held against them. It's like, "You're so smart; why can't you do--" some skill that they're really bad at... and then people think they're just refusing or being rebellious or mean or something.

I tell him he's smart like that but not in the sense of saying "what's wrong with you that you can't do better." I said the other day "you're too smart for us to let this go. We'll find a way to get you to have an easier time in school."

Now that's interesting! See, this is something that happens with autism, so often--we have trouble juggling information about everybody's mental states, so we may forget that somebody doesn't know something, or assume that people have the same perspective we do; or conversely, make so few assumptions about people that we have to learn each person individually from the ground up! It's not uncommon for family members of autistics to have mild autistic traits themselves; I bet that's one of yours. It's probably a matter of processing stuff. We have kind of a one-track mind, a laser-pointer mind that's focused so intensely on one thing, to the exclusion of everything else.

I am pretty sure that I am an aspie too. Thing is I took the aspie quiz, another different one I can't remember the name of, and the Cambridge Personality Assessment and all of them showed highly likely aspie. So yeah you're right on the money again. I've learned to cope well enough to get along in the real world, keep a job etc. but in any areas outside of necessity such as work, shopping and getting things done - ie, social and leisure activities, I fail for the most part. I am pretty isolated, I don't socialize and have many issues with speaking to people at times.

Thank you so much for your input on this, it is very valuable to me *hugs*

[UnhingedHick]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Ok so my son has Aspergers in the worst way. he's fine at home and interacts and outside of his unique behaviors (mild ones) he's a normal, good boy and does fine. Even between his brother and himself he is the one that usually complies with my requests (like taking the garbage out, etc) more quickly... so anyway..

He's doing horribly in school. Surprise, right? Yeah so I got a letter from teh school asking for a meeting to figure out how to best enable him to do better in school. First, I'm going to that but I looked up alternative schools and found one that has programs for autism to teach kids social skills.

So i'm posting for this reason: Does anyone know or has experienced social skills classes for HFA or Aspergers?

im aspergers and i compleatly understand, with out basic social skills it is very hard to do anything in school, or in work, my friends and family still sya i have round about wys of doing things but people et usedto it and will hoepfully work around it wit you (or your son in this case) of of asperges kids go to special school and i've heard it helps.
anyway if you want to know anything else you can always ask me on chat if you like...

[Big Mama]

My oldest child has attended a small private school that is accredited. Meaning he will receive a diploma upon completion. My son was in class w/ 8 students ranging from ages 13 - 18ish. My son has ADD, some of the other students there had aspurgers, and other learning disabilities and they were able to thrive because of the small class size. Social interaction was not such a big deal, and bullying was not an issue there. My son now does home school and loves it. (many aspurgers kids do)

My middle child has aspurgers. He will go to high school next year. If it is not sucessful the will be going to the small private school. It was $250 a month tuition by the way. So it was not terribly expensive. We have tought my son key phrases. He has learned them and repeats them when he doesn't know what to do. We are just now starting on the testing threw the school and seeing what they can do.

His best phrases are:
"May I get a drink of water" that means I'm gonna lose control and cry, or it is to loud

"Can I dust the erasers" that means there is to much chaos (he needs to be given a break and give the teacher time to get the class under control)

"I need to take this to the office" Means I need to go to the bathroom. He folds a piece of paper into a letter size and asks or holds it up. He is embarassed about bathroom things.

We came up w/ these ourselves w/ the suggestion from his T. Maybe you guys could come up w/ something similar. Maybe you already have something like that in place and this will help someone else.

Good luck. Let me know if I can be of any assistance.

I have a meeting with the school regarding his IEP next Friday. Wish me luck in finding some things we can do to help him.

[Big Mama]

Big hugs coming your way and some luck to. I really hope you guys can find some answers

The State of Florida has, within their local branch of the Health Department, has something called CARD (Center for Autistic Related Disorders). Through that, I was able to get my son in a peer behavior modification (for lack of a better term) class. All of the kids were preteens. They would put the kids through various scenerios requiring social skills and record the kids as they went through it. Then, they would watch the films back and talk about what could have been done differently. It was helpful for him and he was also able to socialize with other students with his mindset.
Those classes were offered free of charge regardless of income level. You could see if your state offers similar things.

The local children's hospital also offers peer classes for Asperger's kids, but I believe those cost some. Just a few things to possibly check out.

Temple Grandin, a leading expert on high level autism (she's Asperger's but the term didn't exist when she was diagnosed) has a number of lectures on YouTube. You may be able to find hers as well as some others; they may give you some ideas of things to try at home.

You could also get your son involved in some type of group activity outside of school. Some type of sports or scouting. You would be active with it with him so you could watch and see where he has difficulty and intervene if necessary. My son is in scouts and it has made a gigantic difference in his social skills. He doesn't always act what would be considered "appropriate" but he has become much more outgoing from the experience....plus it teaches good values to boot. You could even search for a troop of Aspie kids. I know they exist here and there.