Thinking of returning to the reclusive lifestyle

Recently, I have been trying to socialize, without much success in the world of perplexing human communication. All it is doing is causing frustration and stress. Right now, I am rediscovering just how mean, insensitive and judgemental people can be. In the past, I was always the target, because of my naive and serious nature. This is the main reason, I chose to live as a recluse in my early twenties.

Now, I am in school so it is hard to live a reclusive life. I want to work in research and need some people skills. This is why I am doing this, not to amass 'friends'. All I seem to be doing is alienating people or being mislead because I cannot read nonverbal cues very well. People are wearing me out so much, I am ready to return to my old ways.

My lack of success really hurts. Misanthropy is very appealing right now.

Yes, go ahead. The world is too big for us totally misunderstood people...

It sucks that we live in a world where a job is a necessity (unless you are lucky enough to enherit money and a house... I wish...) because I feel the same way... I want a house in the middle of nowhere, in the country, no neighbours... and no need to interact with any other human being unless I want to. I just wish it was possible to do.

I understand completely. People ARE mean, insensitive, and judgmental. Even here on Pc.

I want to leave this city after I am done my studies and move to the east coast. If I could find a place that is somewhat rural, I would be quite happy.

My hometown is in the middle of nowhere. I miss going for walks in the forest, fishing, camping and so on. Here you need to drive at least 45 minutes to do any of that.

I hope to get a job that will allow me to work at home.

I try to be nice to people. Sometimes, it is hard.

Electronic communication is superb for misunderstanding. It has a way of setting up arguments. Past experience has taught me to give that up and focus on the real world, where it is a little bit easier to navigate relationships.

It might be possible if you find a cheap property and grow food. Sure you probably need to work also, but not much at all compared to full time, more do freelance stuff.

The problem is people don't want to lower their level of comfort. I could move out to our property but it would be a harsh life.

I do intend on growing my own vegetables etc, composting, collecting rainwater and stuff, if only to keep down personal costs. I also hope that in the future I might be able to sell something, even if it is surplus fruit/veg product from the garden. The problem is that I'd need money to get even a "cheap" property and I'd probably still be paying off the mortgage when I'm 60.

I guess there is nothing really cheap there.

Thank god I am not the only 20 year old who has started to revert into reclusion versus getting out in the world.

It's not that i dont want to socialize, it just takes so much energy from me and people are very rude and misunderstanding... I've always thought about just running off living in the woods, I wonder if i would be happier poor, and with nature versus not poor and in society

I liked you right away just FYI

I don't intend to sever all contact, because I need to see and talk with a person at least once a week. Sometimes, it is nice to share life with others.

I just want to be in a rural place where it is quiet. Anyway, I grew up in a remote community. The city is getting to me. It is too hectic. School is the reason why I live here. I must admit, my city is beautiful, because there are lots of parks and trees. This makes it more bearable.

It would be nice to grow some of my own food and get off the grid.

You are correct, some people are insensitive & judgmental & often mean. People like that are insecure & lack confidence & don't feel very good about themselves. So keep that in mind & you will feel sorry for them instead of thinking they are mean. Don't respond to negative behavior or comments from others, it they don't get a response from you they will eventually stop negative behavior & comments towards you. Don't take things personally when people treat you badly, it's their problem not yours. Ignore bad behavior. There isn't anything wrong with being serious, but it's a good idea to smile & appear happy. When in doubt about what to say, listen carefully & ask questions. Be interested in others. Arguing or correcting others will not help you or get you what you want even if they are wrong. Being a right fighter only benefits you if its for TV, it never benefits relationships whether they be personal or work. Less is more. Listen more, talk less. If you don't understand something, it's ok to repeat it back & ask for more clarification so you understand. Compliment others, but it needs to be genuine. From the very first moment to see someone look for things you like. It could be a sweater they are wearing, a clean organized desk, useful information they provided, and so on. It's hard for people to be mean to someone who is genuinely nice to them.

Most of the rudeness is from strangers on public transit. Usually, I just ignore it.

Thanks for your suggestions.

I have been going out of town a lot more and visiting parks just to get away from this city and all its noise. Lately, the noise has been really bothering me.