They keep getting it wrong. I wish they would stop trying so hard to understand.

People try so hard to understand ASD. And this had led to a lot of misconceptions, including the vaccine myth, the idea that we don't feel things, and the stigma itself. I know that they just want to understand, and "get it". But to me, there isn't much to understand. I have explained in detail the way I see the world. But to me that's normal. So why do NTs, because their world is typical them (again, as mine is to me) get to decide the official definition of normal?

My vote counts, and I don't see what the big mystery is. I'm different than other 21 year olds. I don't understand them any more than they understand me. But I don't waste my time coming up with theories to figure it out. That's their life. I just live mine the way I know how to, and I never want that to change.

What If they have it backwards? What if I'm normal, and NTs have the disorder?

yah...
ive often thought about, the best way a non autistic person could understand it fully, is if they were placed in an autistic community. one where they are the only "normal" one. and they would soon realize that they werent the "normal" one anymore.

I don't know there is a normal that is anything but opinions and beliefs. Getting others to accept others as we are is a difficult task. Most people prefer the comfort of their opinions.

I try to look beyond appearances in the grand scheme of things. I believe we all come here with a gift wrapped up securely inside us that no one knows what it is. But each year of our life a little more is unfolded and some day we will just be who we are sharing our gift, no matter what anyone else will think.

What do you think? Do you have a gift inside?

A lot of it is about environment. The fit between the person and the environment or, sometimes, the lack of fit. Some higher functioning people with Autism / Asperger's thrive in traditional academic environments or more rule governed societies like victorian england. Less touchy-feely / emotionally expressive. More rational and orderly. Quieter. You might not need a dx of Asperger's if you find yourself with parents much like you, friends much like you, in an environment that is well suited to you more generally.

But put a person like that in the noisy communal environments that are all the rage these days... Open offices. Noisy classrooms. Full of noisy boisterous kids who mostly can't sit still and who bully / make fun of quieter pursuits... And it is panic-inducing. Uncomfortable. Downright painful. Apparently we are moving towards more 'inclusive classrooms' etc now by changing things up (having group work libraries etc)... But it is ruining things for the Asperger's kids, rather. Heh.

Society swings in round-abouts...

I think it really is about finding your niche. People like you. People who you feel you can relax around because they 'get you'. I went on a wander out into the world... Went to technical college for a while... Tried to learn a trade or two... Found myself back at University because... There are my people. If my people are anywhere, at all. Especially summer school where the 'there because I have to be' people have all gone to the beach.

Hardest thing for me was getting the hang of this idea that most people talk not to communicate literal (or even implied) meanings conveyed by their words... Most people talk... Just to talk. Because they like the sound of their voice or because they are trying to emotionally connect. So, for example, people are fond of being all like 'oooooooh yeeeeees, me too!!!' when they have no idea what you are talking about. People will say they understand TOTALLY (especially when you are young) but it is all about looking and smiling, looking and smiling. Many people will tell you they totally understand every single thing you are saying but they can't paraphrase what you just said in their own words and they really have no clue. Crazy-making. I found it.

It does get easier as you get older. I think most especially because you have more power over your own life... And over time you get to manuver yourself into a place where you are more surrounded by people who are more like you.

You are perfectly normal - for some subpopulation of society. Same as... Everyone else.

Hang in there.

I so understand where you are coming from. But, for me, I say they don't understand it at all. Yes, they understand it, but they'll never know it like we do.

It is so like you say, they keep coming up with THEORIES. That's the problem right there - WE ARE RIGHT HERE! Why not ask us? I know why, because it's like I was explaining in another thread - no matter how many nature programs you put on TV explaining how some snakes with certain markings are harmless and non-venomous, you'll still get tons of people who, when they encounter any snake in the wild, will simply kill it because it's a dangerous, human-killing machine, it's a SNAKE! Oooooh beware! Ignorance is bliss indeed - for them. It's the same thing here - ANY person with ANY mental issue of ANY kind should be avoided at all costs. We are all suddenly murderous psychopaths and dangerous as hell. What a pile of trash.

And you're question - great question! Indeed, what if this whole thing is back-to-front? That is the million-dollar question!

They are starting to. 'No about us, without us'

Neurodiversity Rewires Conventional Thinking About Brains | WIRED