Normal people don’t care

Don't feel bad, I did the same thing. It was impossible for me to create any sort of bond with a woman, so I resorted to the same thing. You're right, it provides relief, but I found the sex to be numb and boring, because it lacked any love or chemistry. I am an extremely sexual and sensual person, and being deprived of it just drove me insane, so I cracked at 23 and had sex for the first time with a hooker, a 42 year old woman. And before anyone says I just gave up too quick, I had tried online dating before that - no responses to my emails, I plucked up the courage to ask women out - I was rejected by about 100 different women who just said no, then one or two went on a lunch date with me, we had a great time each time, I was masterful, unlike I'd ever been in my life - confident, interesting, we talked about her things, my things, what we both liked, I don't think the dates could have been more enjoyable at all. Then we go on one date, I ask her again a few days later, she says she's busy. A week later I see her walking down the street with a new boyfriend. And no, she was not taken already, she was single a week earlier when I dated her.

All these cumulative failures just made me give up. I ask all these women what it is about me they don't like, and they all say there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just not their type, it's them it's not me. How can I not be 100 different women's type? So, obviously there is something wrong with me and they are just lying to try and...well, I don't know what they're trying, because it's not sparing my feelings, it's hurting me more than if they would just tell me what was wrong with me. I just feel outright rejected, because a reason would at least explain it. The message is clear to me, I'm not even good enough for a reason as to why they are rejecting me.

Well, I only had one or two girlfriends, tops, that went out with me briefly, and I still fell for them in highly questionable circumstances, likely due to severe loneliness and with me lacking in my own confidence to meet other people. These days, I usually see a Polish woman for sex and although I think she is nice, I know that prostitutes are not dating material. A lot of hookers go on tours, so it is rare you see the same women that frequently. They may even take their escorting profiles offline if they are not working, which means us desperate guys will just end up seeing some less than great chick instead, or go to a sauna.

One ex was an epileptic girl from my sister's art class in college. Her mother ordered me out the door one time I went to see her and I never said or did anything out of line, yet that was how I was treated. The other girl was this Laura bird, who was nothing but a lying money grabber all along. We have quite the history, too.

Oh, I met Laura in the summer of 2005 when I was in a charity shop. This was when I was doing The Prince's Trust course in college. She just happened to be there that July when I arrived and our association was brief but hardly at all brilliant.

We only went out for a month or so. In that time, her little pals were acting so ignorant, by deliberately harassing me when I showed up to see Laura. So I asked my sister to go with me to her area and she was made to feel uncomfortable as well. Eventually, I just stopped going to her area altogether after Laura lied once and I never heard from her in a very long time after this. But I kept thinking that if I met a nice girl, I would ask her out in a similar way to how Laura asked me out, only I would do it more sincerely obviously. And I wanted to go back to see Laura much sooner than I attempted to, believe me. But by the time I plucked up the courage, she had moved away.

So what did I do next which was really silly? Well, rather than just accept she was out of my life like any ordinary chap would do, I insisted on trying to get the cow back in my life, only then I did not brand her as a cow. She was more like a lost sweetheart and my one true love, as crazy as all this may sound. So I put up adverts on gumtree.com and then people just mocked me, including a former support worker called Patrick. That was sick.

Anyway, I finally found Laura on Facebook and we were reunited in March of 2012. Within just a week, she pressured me to buy her an iPod. While she lay in bed with me, she kept touching mine like it was a toy. But because I was in boyfriend mode, I gave in to her ridiculous attitude out of "fear" she would ditch me. Within no time, she finished up with me, saying she just wanted to be a pal. She left me to pay for her iPod which she ended up damaging. Then I lost some of my benefits as the claim run out or something and this made me get into debt. Her iPod was repaired and she was nice after she got it back. It did not last, sadly.

Basically, the iPod was taken out from a store on a credit deal, meaning I had to pay it up bit by bit. Not only that, I had a social worker named Chris and he stuck around to monitor our situation for many months, because he was aware about me obsessing over looking for her during the time we had been apart and he knew there was a chance of things getting out of hand if she ditched me and I found it hard to let go. While he knew I had a good heart, he also knew the danger of obsession may have got me into major trouble. He even at one point had to tell me what a restraining order is and what would happen if I violated that. This is what occurred with the two former support workers after our working relationship ended.

In January of 2013, Laura and I got friendly again after a lot of crap that went on the previous year, and she "agreed" to pay half the cost of a PlayStation 3 in March of that same year. Stupid old me however went and did the same credit deal with the PS3, but she immediately took it home and scammed me. Not only did she not pay a penny, I never saw her in person again until in June of 2014 for just a day when she came to my flat to see me. This was shortly before I went to jail for harassing my support workers.

God knows what happened to her PS3 or her damn iPod. She just acted daft when I asked her about these items before. And she blocked me on Facebook recently too.

Once a tart, always a tart.

You know what's really frustrating is the socially able people at work, who are really horrible selfish people at heart, that manipulate the human resource people and get me in trouble by twisting things around. I'm not that verbally able at defending myself from their lies when I'm under attack. They were very callous and didn't care and neither did the human resource people.

Yeah, that's pretty much how it happens. Don't feel bad brother, I've paid a woman's rent for three or four months already because she said she liked me and called me special in her eyes. It was only till she told me she was pregnant, with another man, that I decided to excommunicate her from my life.

When you're lonely, anything can happen. You can attract the most awful people.

I know how extremely hard it was for me, but the key thing is to remember that not all the people are like that, only 80% of them. I will never try to give advice, and that's not what I'm trying to do for you either. The only reason I say all this is because I know I'm different and wouldn't do such things like they had done to me, and I cling to the belief that I can't be the only person out there who tries to be sincere, there must be others like me, including women who have been through the same.

And, I think it's because we both (me as the man, and she as the woman) withdraw from being hurt, so we minimize our chances of meeting so much.

I think the truth is, the good ones (men and women) hide away, and one should make it your mission to go and find that person, and ignore all the obstacles and false crap along the way. It will be so worth it in the end. If it takes so much effort to find that someone, you know they must be good then.

Yes, that is so true, and it's only because they are lucky enough to be born with the gift of social spontaneity.

And, it really ties in with the title of this thread, because I think you're spot on when you say they are callous. At least my callousness (as an autist) is only apparent, and upon being put to the test, anyone can call my bluff and see I am truly emotional. I truly can see the thick skin so many "normal" people have, but that makes them ignorant too, and there's such a lot of truth they miss.

I truly believe autistic people, and people with other mental issues too, like bipolar and schizophrenia, feel so much more intensely and deeply than "normal" people do. As autists, we simply can't express it, and maybe just as well, because can you imagine if we were able to fully communicate our intense feelings? These "normal" people would then not even be in the same league as us and be made to feel so inferior to someone way more emotionally charged and sensitive than they are. They wouldn't handle 5 minutes of us if we had our full expressive power. They would be in awe and fear I think. So, they should actually count themselves lucky if you ask me.

Exactly! Feeling but not being able to express or at least not until pushed to the wall and then it gets me in trouble.

From a personal perspective, I gel better with fellow autistic people than these neurotypical people that run for the hills the minute they sense you are fallen in love with them. Of course that can happen, because they work in close proximity with you and develop a sort of bond. Then you need to be careful or you end up with the epic issues I have.

As a golden rule, don't just date the first free bird. A lot of the time the novelty of it wears off sooner than you want it to. The whole point of a relationship is a relation.

This is humanity at its best. Almost every NT I've met has a vicious streak. They prefer to resolve conflict with passive-aggressive behavior and dishonesty. Wouldn't it just be better to confront conflict directly?

I often get accused of things I haven't done. My quiet disposition and refusal to partake in all their stupid drama makes me a target. Their lives must be so empty.

Exactly spot on!

I'm meant to be seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow for the court. Like they will be able to help me. Sigh.

I'd never have been in all this s*** if the seniors at my accommodation had never been deceptive.

From a normal person's point of view & experience:

As a "normal" person.....I think you are overlooking something that is also very normal for us......we don't have 99 other normal people to play with because in REALITY......60 out of those 100 people usually don't have compatible personalities even if they are normal & we don't become close with them either. Just because someone is "NORMAL" doesn't mean that all normal people's personalities get along together. There are plenty of personality conflicts even within groups of "normal people" that keep people from becoming good friends or even staying at a closer acquaintance level & people are lucky to have 1 or 2 close friends in a life time anyway which isn't a very high percentage out of that 100.

Have found that undx'ed ASD is the most difficult to deal with because they are determined that they are normal.....but they don't act normal but wanted to be treated like a normal person....but a normal person would be expected to respond differently than what they do or to at least learn from the things they have done & be able to grow & change over the years to adapt to the environment they are living in.....that is what NORMAL people have to do.......the thing is with ASD, that is not that possible so not knowing that someone is ASD, places higher demands on the person to grow & change the way normal people are expected to do. When we truly understand ASD, we come to know that it's not appropriate to have that expectation of them & to understand that their behavior is unintentional. That is why it's so important to have the diagnosis for all to understand better. It's much easier to tolerate someone who you understand why their behavior is the way it is & not just because they are intentionally acting that way to be difficult.

In my experience personality issues are much more of an issue that empathy issues hands down much of what comes from the inability to communicate. But each person I know is so totally different from the other in the way they have problems communicating. What is said about knowing one Aspie is knowing one Aspie.....each person is so very different in the way it affects the behavior & the personality but it usually does cause interface problems that are difficult to deal with.

You're right about bonds and personalities. One thing it takes great strength for an autistic person to do is to be open (chat freely to "qualified" support workers) and that can be an issue if they think you are overstepping a thin line. Like with my past workers; I was always very quite open and honest, to the point I ended up hurt because I simply 'liked' being in their presence and they sensed the feelings I had were either too strong or getting to be out of the boundaries. It may not have occurred as much with same sex workers due to the lack of physical attraction, unless they had a similar interest to me so I grew to like him as kind of like a guy to guy thing. Apparently, you are not supposed to 'favorite' any caregivers as "it is just a job" and "everyone leaves", yet that's a flawed outlook that restricts relationships from forming. Yes?

Of course, you cannot get attached to a worker as they move on, leave, blah, blah. But don't they understand that we act like that around our care personnel because we feel lonesome?

Every bloody time my butt was hauled into a security van to go to court or the jail, not one support worker was even there. Nobody even gives a crap any more. It is because the law took over. They appear to just use my impulsiveness as some excuse, when they had a *CHANCE* to basically give me a chance with the women. Although collectively speaking, not one senior would disagree that I've became obsessed with the topic, so they aren't going to miraculously own to their mistakes let alone bring them back as my aides. There's more of a chance for snow than for that to happen. Now due to what happened, I've lost any confidence that still remained.

In the event I did get back to my flat, what sacred thoughts will remain of it? To me it'd just be a house and nothing more, as I'd never approach nor talk to the staff again unless it was for some reason like to assist me or deal with my benefits. Other than that, I'd blank them.

Well, I didn't know until 25 that I was ASD.

At least you found out then....my H was in his mid 40's before ASD was even diagnosed & no one in the family even knew about it & had all kinds of other exuses for his behavior.

After researching it just last year, it's the only thing that explained his behavior & personality issues 100% even though at 64 he's not formally Dx'ed, it's quite obvious.....but the marriage got so bad it wouldn't matter at this point to the marriage whether he got Dx'ed or not....it just might help him understand himself better even at the age of 64

OK, so what it basically comes down to is, I'm nowhere near worthy to even tie the shoelaces of a normal person. They've all had to pay enormous dues which I clearly haven't.

So I guess the only way people will ever respect me is if I quit my university research and go and get a real, hard-graft, physical 9-5 blood, sweat and tears kind of job (like a coal-miner or mechanic or brick-layer or something), spend the rest of my time in the gym and jogging to get the million dollar body and six-pack abs, go to toasting school and therapy for the rest of my life so I can obtain and cultivate a killer extroverted personality, and then, and only then, once I've paid all these dues to society, then they will say I have made the kind of sacrifices necessary to be worthy of one minute of their time and respect.

Great. Now I know what normal people are all about.

Normal people will never know the first thing about how it is to live my life. They all sit there, gifted from head to toe, they're beautiful, attractive, well-spoken, extroverted, gift of the gab, spontaneity, they make and break friendships/relationships at the snap of their fingers. 99% of people in this world have this gift of being normal, they reign in life like kings. They don't know what real innate problems are within your own being, in your innermost self, that keeps finding it's way out to ruin your life every single day for the rest of your life. They don't know how lucky they are, they will never realize how truly privileged they are, just being normal.

I will never know what it's like to be someone who is happy, has everything going for them, being popular, normal and accepted by everyone. Everywhere I go, I stand out like a sore thumb. I see the way other people look at me, they hate me before even meeting me. And no, I'm not imagining things, because when I approach someone to talk with them they move or run away. And, before anyone says it's my personality, these people run away from me before they even know me.

Now, I'm not sitting here saying I want everyone to fall over their feet to be accommodating to me, hell, I even like being a little isolated and a little different, it makes life interesting. I'm just tired of being judged by EVERYONE that I must be some kind of evil that needs to be avoided at all costs.

People mock me for not having a great body. They don't even know why it got to the point it did. Try being bullied by grown-ups (not children) from your own family, your teachers at school making your life a living hell, and then coming home and not having anyone to turn to. My dad was usually pissed out of his mind lying in a bar somewhere until 3 am, and when he was sober he was a psychopath, my mom was clammed up like some 1000 year old treasure chest rusted shut and NEVER wanted to speak about ANYTHING. I have no siblings. I have no friends. I was forced to "grow up" at the age of 4 already and forced to deal with adult themes my entire childhood, finding out along the way that I have a big brother running around somewhere that I've never met to this day. I never had ANYONE in my life I could call on except myself. It's not like other people who have a support network they can turn to. At the age of 8, I was threatened by a teacher that she was going to make my life a living hell, that she hated me. I didn't even know why, or what I had done, but she did anyway, just for the fun of it. That 1 year alone damaged my entire life. My parents used to just by me treats to make me feel better, things like chocolates, cola, etc. All they saw is me depressed probably, and then try to cheer me up with "feel good food". Today I am a full-blown addict, and will probably be on it for the rest of my life. I tried to quit a few times and nearly died each time from the withdrawal. If I don't drink at least half a gallon of cola a day, I get withdrawal. This was all a form of "self-medication" that a young boy employed in his life to try and deal with the things that were coming into his life.

I know I'm a dead man. This stuff has destroyed my entire life for me. I'm damaged. Even if I get a great body, paid my dues to society, it won't help. I can never look these "normal" people in the eye again. There will always be this barrier between us. All I think of is how will this person A or B hurt me in the future again?

Even once resurrected from the dead, you still bear the stripes of a previous disastrous life. I'm an altered person. No amount of fixing or healing is going to take me back to where I "should have been" at this stage in my life.

My only challenge is to continue living somehow, now that I've totally failed in life and have been through the fire. I'm scarred, damaged and a changed person. It's hard. I have no desires, no aspirations, no ambitions, nothing I wish to really achieve. I'm empty. I've lost complete feeling for everything in life. I don't know how I'm going to still live for the next 20, 10, 5, hell even 1 year. Hopefully I wouldn't have to find out and this misery might end soon enough so that I can finally find rest and peace.

Have you watched the movie Temple Grandin? You have your strengths & abilities just like any normal person does.....got news for you, their lives don't have any less struggle to succeed.....it's just that people tend to think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence (in other words....the life that others are living looks better to you than the one you are living because you don't see every little difficult detail that their lives involve but you see yours)....Got news for you...normal people struggle...they just have different struggles.....it doesn't make yours any less or theirs any less....it just makes them different.

Normal people struggle to find the right person in their lives also....& the right friends & to make the right choices.....that is called LIFE.

I have found that there are some "NORMAL" people who are difficult to communicate with because their mind is thinking in a certain direction & we can even argue on the same side of something because we are saying what we think differently......that's LIFE.

We all just do the best we can given our strengths & weaknesses.
then maybe where you are is where you should be....accept it & continue on with life. We all have to make the best of where we are & what we are & make our life meaningful the way it is.

Like I said....everyone has difficult challenges in their lives NORMAL or not....we just have to learn to deal with them, accept them for what they are & get on with life......learn from the things we can & work on the things that aren't working as best as we can.

I would be more than happy to just "live my life" if only I can have that life. It is missing, and missing for one reason only - other so-called "normal" people have taken it, bit by bit.

My entire life I've had to compromise, to make other people happy. If I do what I want, they throw temper tantrums, call me a criminal, accuse me of stuff I didn't even do.

It's always a case of "the normal person is right" and the "autistic guy is just a weird freak and nothing he says or does can possibly be right".

People have confused "normal" with "right" or "true". Is something true just because it happens more than anything else (i.e. the norm)? I don't think so.

After a life of bending over backwards, twisting and cracking to accommodate so-called "normal" people, I have finally reached a point where I'm stripped of all individuality and any sense of being a human being just like any other person. I'm bare and empty, and everyone else has walked off with the little bit of dignity and love/passion for life I still had.

I feel like I've been violated, raped and pillaged all whilst under the influence of being drugged into a defenceless state (it's weird though, it's these people who would accuse me normally of possibly doing such a thing to them). I know the world out there doesn't expect a man to feel like this, but I do (I never expected them to treat me the way they did, so in my eyes we're even).

Now that everyone's had their fun at my expense, and broken my spirit into no more than a pile of rubble, all I want is to start building my life from scratch again, brick by brick, and for others to let me get on with it. I would appreciate if others didn't come by and kick my newly laid "bricks" over again and break down what I am so desperately trying to rebuild, or steal my "cement" and "sand".

All I ever wanted was just a little common respect, like everybody else gets automatically. People push the limits with me because they know I can't defend myself, I'm just not able to. I just don't have the social gifts they have.

But, to all of them I say, continue to laugh at me, mock me, trip me up, set traps for me and whatever it is that they get a kick out of, for times change, the wheel turns, and all the rest of it. Some day this world will need me again, especially what used to be deemed my "faults" and "quirks". It is then when I get to decide whether I should bother or care less to lift a finger. I'm a very patient man.

I seen a psychiatrist yesterday in relation to my court hearing on 26 February, but I did not watch what I was saying at all. Rather, I was mad and made statements that sounded violent toward the police. Oh bummer!

Babe WHAT is so "normal" about people treating others like something stuck on the bottom of their shoe? Assigns WHY would ANYONE want to be NORMAL if that is how "norms" treat people? I was asked today if I killed a dog! REALLY???!!! If HE'S normal and I'M crazy, hell give me a straight jacket and a box of crayons because I don't want to be normal if it means falsely accusing someone out of spite and utter rudeness! That S.O.B. KNEW I didn't, KNEW I've been dealing with a ton of health and other problems this week, and STILL chose to act like this to me, and he "claims" to care about me! What part of that makes one want to be "normal" like him? He has no dx of anything! Normal DOSE NOT ALWAYS=nice, good, decent, lovely, lovable, or even "to be desired"! There are people in authority, government and such who go through background checks and things, highly respected and in high positions who are systematically DESTROYING their own countries, betraying the people who elected them and THEY'RE NORMAL?? THEY'RE to be envied for their power and positions? Again I say, give me a helmet and a padded room! You CANNOT judge yourself against other people's lives because truth be told they're probably more screwed up than all of us put together and they COULD CHOOSE to be different! People with MIs can't simply make that choice. If we could, we would. They CAN but they DON'T. Who is the worse of the two? Who do you want to be? Love ya!

Dear Eskie, I have been thinking about what you said. I'm sorry If I was abrasive before. I was just so hurt and felt so defeated, not by you, just by the whole situation I find myself in. You do speak the truth, it just feels like a death sentence has been passed on me, but eventually, I know I'll have to accept it. I want you to know I appreciate all you have said.

I know it's all true. I will never make it in the world of the things that "normal" people do, because it's like you say, I just don't have what it takes to ever be "normal". What I mean by "normal" is being able to enjoy those things (friendship, love, socializing, memories, family) that truly matter in life. It is there for the normal people to enjoy, because they deserve it. It's like you say, they had to go through the development process and I failed at that, so I know it's over and I can't expect those same things, I just don't "qualify".

I'm sorry, it's just so hard to finally have reality sink in. I know that I will never have those amazing and wonderful things in my life, and I'm trying my best to process and accept that. I know I have my own unique gifts I suppose, but they bring nowhere near as much fulfilment, no matter how useful they turn out to be. It's love and acceptance of others that makes life meaningful, and it's the one thing I know I'll never have.

You guys are very blessed. I have no advice or anything, as I am not in a position to provide that, I just hope that those people blessed enough to be fully-functioning, neuro-typical "normal" people can cherish the gift they have more than what is happening today. I just hope people can be a lot more loving towards one another and not treat each other so harshly as I see around me. I know I know nothing about people's interactions, and maybe being harsh is a normal part of it, I don't know, but even from my misguided vantage point it seems to cause much hurt among "normal" people. I know I'll never have any part in influencing any of that, but it's just something I've always wanted to see - more care and understanding.

You know, I started this thread with the title "normal people don't care", but, the reality is, why should they care, right? As mentioned, they have so many more problems, real problems, much more intense problems than I have, they don't still need to deal with me too, right?

What they do is only fair. They remove me from their life, because I bring problems, obstacles, hurdles and hardships. And, I now realize it is my duty to protect them from me, so I must voluntarily remove myself from their presence. It hurts me maybe, but never before did I realize just by being I hurt them more. It's like you say, I'm not normal, so I must not believe I can do what normal people do, I just don't have what it takes and I'm messing it up. It would be better for everyone if I just left it all together, then in that way I can stop hurting people.

You may not have certain amazing & wonderful things in your life.....but there is nothing stopping you from having other amazing & wonderful things....look outside the box that you have defined as amazing & wonderful.....there are lots of other amazing & wonderful things OUT THERE.

One thing I have found personally is that the more I fight things, the more miserable I make myself feel & then I want to fight things even more. When I finally got myself into a place where I am not happy with my life....everything around me looks brighter including the things that are still serious problems.

Just want to let you know also that not all normal people get along. There are plenty of "normal" people that I keep my distance from because of personality differences that cause an uncomfortable feeling. Not everyone gets alone with everyone else. It's wisdom to know those personality types that we don't get along with no matter who or what they are.....called boundaries & knowing one's self. Not everyone we know is compatible to the friendship level.....but there is always someone out there at some time that we end up being compatible with. Sometimes when we get impatient, we want to force it to happen & when we force anything it causes problems when it's between 2 people.....things have to happen naturally no matter if you are ASD or normal .....you can't push or force things to happen no matter how much we desire it to be.

I'm not saying that ASD doesn't add a level of complexity.....but it doesn't make anything impossible. We all have things that make our life more difficult & complicate things so that it can't be exactly how we want it. We do accept it & do the BEST we can with who & what we are & focus on finding & dealing with the good things while recognizing the bad but not dwelling on it. Not easy....but it does help life work.

You didn't come across as abrasive....you just came & come across as being very frustrated . It's normal while trying to sort out everything in our life to become frustrated even "normal" people feel that when they are trying to figure out the direction for their life. You are NOT alone....you just have your own set of struggles you are dealing with just like everyone else has theirs. The best thing is if we can learn something from those struggles & learn & grow from them...that is the difficult part & trying to put the pieces together.

I don't think it's wise to just give up & leave it all together....you need to focus on your strengths & people who appreciate you for who & what you are will end up touching YOUR life & those are the people who you will have something in common with & a bond will grow & that is where real true friendships come from anyway.

Don't give up, but don't try to force.....just hang back, live your life doing what you are good at & yes, it may take time....but even for normal people, it takes time to develop true friendships & the best things in life are worth waiting for.

I understand the frustration....I go through my own with other things that makes me feel similar to what you describe & I know how discouraging it can be....but when you just keep going, it's amazing how things do come together in very wonderful ways we couldn't have even imagined making it worth the struggle & the wait.

Could it be possible that these "normal" wonderful-looking things look more beautiful, desirable and wonderful on the outside than they truly are?

OF COURSE it is possible! Like I've been trying to tell you, the "normal" people who are mean, nasty, hateful and rude to other people especially to those with any kind of disability or mental illness or disadvantage of any sort are ugly miserable people down to their souls! Normal to me are people with compassion for other people. Those you have described, who have treated you so badly, ARE NOT good people for ANYONE to be associated with. Certainly not the kind of people I'd want to spend time with! And if you even had the respect and friendship of such horribly behaving people, it would mean (in their eyes) you were LIKE them because you would have to have a nasty personality too to "fit in" with them! But you are kind, loving, and compassionate, and that sets you apart from rude people. THAT'S what repels them. You're good, and they're not! Don't be envious of hateful people. They have ugly hearts. You're better than that!
And as far as "things" are concerned, have you ever "just had to have something", only to lose interest in it once you've attained it? You see this in children all the time, wanting the new "latest and greatest" things until their parents spend lots of money to get it for them, then days or weeks later it's waste. That's something that we don't seem to outgrow as adults. How many people do you know who are constantly buying or trading in their vehicles for new ones? Always upgrading phones or other forms of technology, getting new "toys" for their recreation or amusement. You hardly ever meet ANYONE who is completely satisfied with where they are or with what they have. Some of those who ARE seemingly content are just stagnant, they've stopped growing. (Not all, but some)

You got it......those are the kind of "normal" people that even "normal" people wouldn't like.

There are good & bad people everywhere in every category of people

Also, sometimes when we don't have something & want it so bad, it looks even nicer but if we had it....it wouldn't be all that nice afterall because you would be experiencing the details of it not just looking at how nice it seems to be.

Sort of like looking at a dog who is jumping up & down, glad to see it's owner, giving it kisses....having a nice walk. Having a dog looks pretty wonderful. Then comes midnight when the owner is all snuggled warm in bed & having a good dream....& the dog jumps up on the bed, to wake up the owner because it seriously needs to go outside & potty.....lets add the weather outside is -40F. The details....you get the good with the bad when you own a dog for a pet.

The issues of being "normal" & having what looks like wonderful relationships on the outside......they take a lot of work & there is a lot of giving on both parts to make it work.....it's work having relationships.....not all the nice beautiful looking stuff it looks like from the outside.

Be happy with who & what you are & make the BEST of that...you will be a lot happier in the long run than always regretting not having the things you don't have....that will only make you miserable.

Holy cow your first post sounds exactly like my life.... I have Aspergers with Avoidant Personality Disorder and I can so totally relate to everything you've posted.
It is so aggravating because you don't want to be an ahole but that's what everyone thinks and I don't know about you, but I really don't know how else to act myself.