Being rejected by other person "forgetting" about arrangements

As I said, you have been cool with me here and you are as sound as a pound.

I honestly think we should just be separated from all neurotypical people. I honestly hate my living arrangements. My mother chucked away my mattress. Grubby it was but new ones are not cheap. And I joined some casting sites for acting. Utter BS. They have no jobs in my area and some want you to pay for a full membership.

OK. They need to fund a business but is it not better to entice people by actually advertising jobs? Or is it basically a case of throw up a profile, get lucky later. No way!

hi, stbguy

what u have gone through would experienced by atleast 50% people in the world..

Why are we always talking about what we want? It’s vain, childish and absurd. Obviously, each of us is interested in what we want. We will be interested in it for eternity. But we will be the only ones thinking about it. Everyone else is just like us in this regard and worry only about what they think.

That’s why the only way to influence your neighbor is to talk to him about what he wants and show him that he can get it.

This is the secret of success: putting yourself in someone else’s place and thinking about things from both his point of view and ours. Because action is born out of our fundamental desires, and to influence others you must first excite in them an ardent desire to act.

Motivate often to do what you propose.

Do this and you’ll be welcome anywhere

Do you like dogs? If you do, why? Does it by any chance have something to do with the fact dogs are completely loyal, love you spontaneously and sincerely, and make a big fuss over you when you come home? Do you like it when they jump up on you wagging their tail, with their tongue hanging out, before the door is fully open, losing themselves completely in welcoming you?

We all know people who try their whole lives to get people interested in them. Wasted effort! People are only interested in themselves. They think about themselves morning, noon and night. When you look at a photo of a group that you are part of, who do you look at first?

If you want people to be interested in you, you must first be interested in them. Whether we are a beggar or a king, we like those who admire us.

Do you want people to like you? Then write down anniversaries on your calendar and send a card, welcome people with warmth and enthusiasm on the telephone, show your admiration and your sincere interest when opportunity presents itself. Publius Syrus said it over two thousand years ago:

We are interested in others when they are interested in us.

As with all the advice in this book, this must be applied with total sincerity. This way you might even touch the the heart of the most powerful and unreachable person.

LOL, I dunno. But, look who's talking - you write the most image-filled, deep, complex and metaphoric poetry I think I've ever laid eyes on! How do you do that is the real question!

Hi Psycho123!

Thanks for your insight. Yes, you are right of course, but if you think about it, that means most people are faking it.

You see, I know being autistic I lack the spontaneity and the perceptive ability to be effectively interested in someone in appearance. You see, I am interested, but it's my lack of ability to express that in such a way that someone else can actually see it. What people see and what truly is going on is not the same with me. Now, I know that sounds like an excuse, but unfortunately it is true, and trust me, I'm not happy admitting it, I don't like lacking a certain crucial human ability, I mean, who does?

But, be that as it may, the only real way I'm going to get it right is to "learn" it. That's the problem with this condition, that natural ability is not there, and you really do feel it when you have it. You can feel the blankness, the "not knowing what to say or ask next" feeling, and it ruins friendships.

Even people who feel nothing and care not one ounce about another don't have the problem I have. It's all about expression by me and perception by the other individual.

I can be interested a million times more than anyone else, and yet, it won't even show in my face, my words or my actions, and the other person just thinks I don't give a damn, so they avoid me.

But, back to the faking part. It's true that people care about themselves only, so all this friendliness and stuff you see among them is probably feigning of interest anyway. And it's easy because most "normal" people are all interested in the same things anyway, so they always have a lot to talk about.

When you peel away the "Hey, what rock concert did you go to this weekend?" and the "Hey, how many drinks did you have last night?" questions, then what else is there really to talk about or be interested in?

You see, I learned long ago that one can never take the full burden of trying to make "something work" squarely onto your shoulders. There needs to be something from both sides.

I totally understand what you're saying, and I've been there, only to learn that people's perceptions get in the way.

If you're not perceived to have the ability to be interested in someone to start with, then people are not willing to allow you to be interested in them, because it's not what they were expecting.

People like what is normal and comfortable, and if you push those boundaries (even involuntarily like I do), then they shut you out.

You mentioned a dog being interested in a person. What if you replace that dog with what is perceived as a dangerous animal? Would you be comfortable with a snake or alligator instead of a dog as a pet, even if it shows tons of interest in you? Your snake coming up to you and curling up in your lap? That puts a whole new spin on things.

And that is exactly it. Nobody is interested in me. Your rule of thumb goes both ways. People perceive me as not being worth the effort and the time.

I can't describe to you how it feels. There is definitely a pushing away feeling I get from others. I try to show interest, they don't want me to. Truly, I am not imagining things. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses, but I guarantee you I'm not.

When I show interest in people, they push me away, they run away and try to get away from me. If it's emails and things, they ignore me. If I see them face to face, they say they are busy and try to get away. I know people are trying to avoid me, it's very obvious to me.

All those things you mentioned - did that, tried that and failed. Been there, done that, didn't get the t-shirt.

If you alone take full responsibility for all the things gone wrong, you just end up depressed and the others who had a hand in it walk away and just live their lives, happy and not a care in the world.

Hey Peter! Thanks for your kind words.

Yeah, you know, this sounds like most services nowadays. Sounds exactly like online dating (replace "jobs" with "women"). There will always be people who make money out of situations that they know the other person doesn't really have full control over. It's all just trickery and blatant exploitation.

It was the same thing with your support workers and your agency, actually any organization/company/business when you really think about it. They simply exploit a perceived need in someone for their own (usually financial) gain.

And advertising/rhetoric is the mechanism by which they plant the seed in your mind that you really do need these things in life.

Auu I'm flattered that you think I actually understand my poetry...

Yeah, man. It is basically like a minefield. So many similar sites are wanting your CV, money and contact details for acting jobs, but quite seldom will there be any actual work. It is like you have to have some friends in the business who are already established and can put in a 'good word' for you.

Basically, I thought being an extra would be like a toe in the door, in order to get some quality work. Hell, I have never really cared for the payment side of it. To be honest, I just wanted to be featured in something, get a mention, and work on building up a portfolio. I've seen people in very minor roles just saying or doing a few words or movements but then not appearing again anywhere in that film, but it's still work. You get acknowledged. You get to say 'I was in that' and tell it to others as it is on your credits. But yeah, unless you know someone who says you come highly recommended, it is a waste of time and money to advertise around.

Honestly - it's hard work in itself finding work.

Ah man, that sounds just like one of those vicious cycles of life type thing again. You need to have been an actor to become an actor, just like you need to have had work to get work, etc. I just can't stand circles like that, because 99% of the time it's created by people's fears. You rarely find someone who just gives you a chance. It's all just to "prove" you can do what you say you do, people don't take chances nowadays anymore, on anything or anyone.

Yeah, and then having to know someone, yet you needed to act before to get that. Argggh! So frustrating!

I hope you get selected somewhere bro! At least then you'll have a start or "toe in the door" as you say. I really hope it works out for you, man, after everything you've been through, it would be so cool to hear you got a break of some kind!

I'm listed on IMDb as Peter Anderson (XXXV) and have access to the "pro" features.

But, yeah. It is strange to me how little productions there are for Edinburgh.

You mean it's just like flowing out of you? That's so cool! If you can write that level of image-laden poetry just out of your hand like that, then you've got one really awesome and serious talent there!

Au thank you

Here's my IMDb profile.

Peter Anderson - IMDb

Here is the video I appeared in, called Judas Goat (episode 1: "Hungry") directed by Pavel Shepan. I'm at the 3:09 mark as one of the extras in the bar, where the main character Mike went into to lure a woman to his master's lair. He is a vampire.

I'm easy to spot because I think I was the only person there wearing glasses! Look for me behind the lassie with red hair.

Pretty cool profile Peter! I didn't know you were into so much stuff bro!

Why didn't those people at the agency help with some of your acting aspirations, help you get a foot in the door or something? You studied drama at uni and everything.

To be fair, it was actually Katie my support worker who was the one who found out about the production; I told her I was interested in being an extra, so she helped me on a shift look for agencies that dealt with casting extras. We saw an advert on Gumtree and being a horror fan, I was very interested. That was in 2012.

StarNow often has jobs in Edinburgh for student films. Sadly, my anxiety is an issue just now. Maybe I need to cut out sugar and caffeine, and eat more green veggies.