[Anonymous37919]

Yeah, because of the largely pathetic fiasco with Joanna and Sara, and all of Autism Initiatives. They both left a while ago. I'd been in jail last weekend for not going to court, as well as for another breach of my bail conditions. Luckily, I got bailed.

I'm just not interested in support workers any longer. They cannot be trusted. I've also now got the added hassle of finding a new flat and doing pretty much everything alone now, as there will be no one around to support me.

Seriously - if you get on great with your own helpers, then great. But mine let me down and broke my heart.

The worst feeling is waking up one day and realizing reaching out for help from someone "qualified" did more harm than good. Or just "trying" something in general, when you realize if you did nothing, asked no-one for help, didn't try to apologize, etc. things would have been better. That's the hardest. When you only tried to rectify the situation by being honest and open about everything and it essentially made everything worse. I had to learn the hard way that people are unwavering, hard, unforgiving and heartless that way, and it's best not even to bother with them at all, because they are neurotypical and will NEVER have an ounce of understanding ever. My lesson I learnt - don't touch them with a 10-foot pole.

[retiredlibrarian]

I couldn't agree with you more. That's my personal experience, and in my case, the worst one of all was a counselor. She insisted in our first session that my ex and I had to be completely honest with each other or we would be wasting her time, and I took her at her word. Within a year and a half, our marriage was finished; my ex couldn't accept my complete honesty.

[Anonymous37919]

I saw an advocate, but he only drafted a complaint letter. He has yet to let me see it, but it hardly matters as the women left this year. They have left my life as well as that company. All this baloney and attempts at justification was all for nothing. 4 times I went to jail, including suffering through a full committal in May. Yeah, and what a moron I was for chasing after them.

Apparently, the accommodation I was in just gets used as mostly a sleepover flat now, with their office being elsewhere. The last time I was in the holding cells beneath the courts, I saw my neighbor, Scott. He's always getting arrested for getting frustrated and throwing things out of his window. He also spent months in jail after being remanded in custody. I'm also starting to think that he wants to copy me and be kept in prison, as he has left voice-mail on my landline stating he wants to be "deliberately" arrested like me. He also told me ages ago that he thought he would be back in jail. It is really as if he does not care, and I know he lost his mother and sister to diabetes and cancer.

I'm not worried about the guy. He is a good friend, but I just don't think it's as easy as saying to keep cool. I'm not saying I blame him for doing what he does, but I'm just saying that any advice would go ignored. He just wants a girlfriend, like I do.

[StarGazingFish]

peter,
cant you ask social services to change you to another support service?
i was assessed for autism iniatives years ago when they werent widespread in the NW,the two ladies drove all the way from liverpool to tell me and my staff they dont support severely autistic people,i ended up being supported by the national autistic society for a good few years.
ive heard a lot of bad stuff about AI,your best off with another service peter.

Well, the name says it all, doesn't it. "Autism Initiatives". Nobody needs to take any initiative with autism. It is what it is and people need to accept that. There is no "help" to be given. Help what? A perfectly fine individual? That's like saying a man must go to the doctor because he is a man, all humans should be women. He is sick or incorrect/needs help because he has a penis.

Taking initiative with autism is just another way of saying "Trying to teach/force you how to be normal (i.e. one way, one definition) so you fit in with the rest of the world. Why? Because normal people cannot find it in themselves to accept you for who you are and you're more easy to deal with that way. But shhh, don't tell anyone."

Let's face it. Autistic individuals are a test, a challenge. A challenge to make people who are brainwashed by being "normal" sit up and listen for once in their lives. Autistic individuals are here to let people know HEY! Not everything can be controlled, counted, measured and made to suit YOU and what YOU WANT. Sometimes there are some things you just can't change or do anything about, and it is THEIR challenge to deal with that, not OUR responsibility to change to suit them. They are not the boss. Might doesn't make right. Just because something happens the most in a certain way, doesn't make that the standard, just the "norm" which is nothing more than a statistical construct, IT'S MEANINGLESS!!!

Peter, you and I spoke about it on another thread, remember? The websites which make money out of you, the organizations, etc. Well, this is no more than another example of exploiting people's fears. The fear of not being able to "function" in society, so thus you need "help". What does that really mean anyway? Function? People's paranoia runs deep, and it permeates every fiber of their being, like an oil-soaked sponge. And, there is not enough soap in the world to wash it out.

[Anonymous37919]

I went into town yesterday to buy a DVD. There was a support worker there. When I tried to tell him why I went to jail, he said he was going into John Lewis. People can use the shop to get through the mall. He probably could not be bothered listening to me. But as far as other support services go; I think it would just upset me as I was so used to that other lot even though it ended so badly, and therefore I may be inclined to want to compare them. It's like being back at square one and I don't want to go there again. However, it all feels like a paradox. The court will probably carry on with my Community Payback Order after 3 November.