[cool09]

Treatment resistant to meds and ECT. I stay away from people because of anxiety, agitation and Asberger's. It makes me very sad and makes me wonder how I'm going to spend the future.

[pachyderm]

"Normal" is good, eh?

Not necessarily.

I personally think normal can be quite boring!

Sometimes I wish I could work full-time like a "normal" person, but I try not to think on it too much and instead focus on what I am able to do. For me, that's being on disability and working part-time. Try not to compare yourself to these "normal" individuals, although I totally get that it's hard not to at times.

You say you struggle with socializing. Do you play any online games that involve a community? That can be a good way to socialize without totally leaving your comfort zone. MMORPGs like World of Warcraft or Final Fantasy XIV are fantastic examples. Many real life friendships start online. I met my current partner on this very website, after all.

[cool09]

I would be content to be normal. I'd like to get those things back that I lost the last 40 years like my personality, confidence, attachment and laughter. I've had 15 hospitalizations and I'm headed towards the 16th (though none of them did me any good except for the last). I don't play video games.

The other night I told my one friend about my problems and I haven't heard from her since. I'm all alone.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by cool09

I'm all alone.

You have us here.

[Biteplate]

I feel you, I'm always worried about the future. I can't work and with disability I live in poverty. I just feel doomed to this. I wish I could just function normal and work full time and own a home etc.

[Under*Over]

This is really hard. Im trying to come to terms with my own conditions and what they mean for me. Just wanted to say good luck to you.

[daynrand]

Originally Posted by cool09

The other night I told my one friend about my problems and I haven't heard from her since. I'm all alone.

I'm not good w/many computer skills, like even being able to utilize these smilies. If I could (will try again: ) (doesn't look like it worked to just click on the smiley , I'd at least send you a hug.
I know very well how you feel! And I also know that, as nice as these forums are, they can never take the place of a real, live person in your life to love & care about you & just to DO things with now & then! But, yes, we are here for you, & I do care about you, so for what it's worth, write to me any time & I WILL respond.

[cool09]

Thank you all.

[pachyderm]

Get a cat. They are people too.

[daynrand]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Get a cat. They are people too.

Not only a cruel & thoughtless comment, but stupid to boot. I remember about 12 years ago going through 1 of my worst periods of depression... somebody sent my husband a "thinking of you" card writing, "Get your wife a kitten. She needs somebody." In that case, we all knew it was meant to be a hateful remark, actually. Meant to hurt. I'd rather be a sad Aspie, struggling along, than to be a mean-spirited mocker. As if a pet could take the place of people in anybody's life. I've had my pets & loved them like crazy, but unless you're sincerely 1 of those people who believe animals of the non-human species can take the place of human friends & family, this was simply unkind.

Originally Posted by daynrand

Not only a cruel & thoughtless comment, but stupid to boot. I remember about 12 years ago going through 1 of my worst periods of depression... somebody sent my husband a "thinking of you" card writing, "Get your wife a kitten. She needs somebody." In that case, we all knew it was meant to be a hateful remark, actually. Meant to hurt. I'd rather be a sad Aspie, struggling along, than to be a mean-spirited mocker. As if a pet could take the place of people in anybody's life. I've had my pets & loved them like crazy, but unless you're sincerely 1 of those people who believe animals of the non-human species can take the place of human friends & family, this was simply unkind.

I think it was a comment with good intentions.

I honestly prefer my cats over most people, and I'm sure there are others out there who feel the same way about their pets.

[cool09]

I take no offense.

[pachyderm]

We had cats as children, but it wasn't until I got brother and sister cats 18 years ago as kittens that I realized that they had distinct personalities, much as people do. I feel I have learned a lot about life from those cats. They are independent, living beings, as we are, with similar needs. I feel privileged to have had them in my life.

[PrairieCat]

I wish you the best also. i worked and lived like a normal person. It was fake, though. But I'm not normal and I am still having troubles. i am also elderly and didn't even realize I had high functioning Asperger's until a couple of years ago. I am now taking Prozac and hope that it will help me with anxiety. I am amazed that the anxiety I have had has not killed me by now.

i believe that my entire family had and has ASD at all different levels. None of my three siblings will even talk to me about it. i will see the psychologist at my regular doctor's office in a couple of weeks and she will increase the Prozac dosage. Yeah, I pretended I as normal but it did me no good. I am at a stalemate.

We are nit supposed to give up. I will try not to. I've nobody to talk to. Hope someone on here will write a private message to me. You don't have to be elderly.

i have two cats. Yes, they are people. Don't know what I'd do without them!

[puzzclar]

Have you tried DBT? The distress tolerance could be of some use to you. I'm in it and so far keeping track of a few things every day is helping. Meds aren't the answer for me either. And I doubt ECT would work anyway, but hey that's me.

[eskielover]

My dog taught me more about loving than the 33 year marriage I was in. I now live alone & am blessed by the company of my dogs.

Have had DBT & wonderful therapy & now have wonderful people in my life after moving far away from where I was....but at the end of the day, my dogs are my best company....especially the one I have a real heart connect with.

Gaining the skills that help you learn to live WITH ASD will make your future much better to deal with..important to get the right kind of therapy since you do know what you are dealing with so you can understand what you are experiencing & why your behaviors are what they are & adjust when possible & necessary.

Remember also, ASD is not something developed later in life. It is the normal for you that you have been all your life. I am not ASD but grew up for 21 years with a dad whose behaviors fit every ASD pattern & was married & living with a H for 33 years who also fit every pattern also. Neither were diagnosed because it wasn't diagnosed in the US before 1994. Appropriate therapy I'm sure would have helped them both to deal with their lives in a more managed way which is what most people need to do anyway not just those with ASD.

[-jimi-]

A few people replace human contact with cats or dogs. But most pet owners don't have the same feelings for pets and humans. I love my human friend because she is funny, intelligent, can get astray in very weird thoughts, has a complex thought pattern, and she can help me with practical things if I am ill. My cat friends know what I feel, they have some super skill, they make me always love them even if they are naughty, teach me unconditional love, I don't so much like physical contact with humans but cats are furry, they purr and rub my hand. It feels very pleasant. I have a more direct connection to cats than people, I understand a lot of their body language.

So I need reasoning, language and brain exercises, but I also need cuddling and understanding nonverbal cues and those who understand ME.

For me people cannot be replaced but neither can cats.

Have you ever had an EEG to exclude atypical epilepsy, since you seem to have a tad strange mix of symptoms? Or an MRI to look at brain structures.