How are you with eye contact?

As for me, I don't mind looking at someone's eyes, but it scares me when they look back. For some reason I feel embarassed when people see me looking at their eyes. Also I feel more comfortable talking with my eyes downcast instead of ahead or up (which is necessary for eye contact). Lately I've been trying to look at people's eyes from over my glasses instead of through, so everything including them is fuzzy, that's less scary for me.

[Biteplate]

Eye contact makes me very uncomfortable even with my own daughter. It really bothers me cause it's polite to look at people when they are talking.

[TheStrange]

I'm only good at eye contact with my own parents. I am working on finding tricks to at least make it look like I am looking at people. I have learned people see me as extremely shy or not wanting to talk because of the trouble with eye contact. I am trying to learn to become better at this with my psychologist. I have heard some people manage by looking at the mouth or eyebrows instead. For now I haven't found what works yet, but I suppose it's different for everyone.

[88Butterfly88]

Eye contact did not come naturally to me, I had to learn it. I seem to have picked it up rather well and now I have little trouble with it.

[Turtle_Rider]

I used to avoid it at any cost. However, there is one time I tasked to do MC (master of ceremony) in an event, so I have to practice it. It helps a lot until now.

[Nike007]

I tend to use eye contact only when I am comfortable with someone, but even then, not all the time. I do find it quite uncomfortable, so if I am talking about something that is more emotionally driven, I tend to not use eye contact at all. I mainly use eye contact to empathize what I am saying, or to show that I am paying attention.

Sometimes, if I like someone a lot (like friendships or whatever), I'll just stare into their eyes, which I also know is unacceptable in society. I like to try to memorize their eye colour.

[Foo Fighter]

I hate it. I have my good days and bad but my husband is the only person I can look in the eye and be okay with it. As long as you don't make me do it we're good.

[ineedtosneeze]

I hate it when people make eye contact with me unless I initiate it. I'm not sure why but it makes me very uncomfortable.

[neckbones]

hate it hate it hate it! I’m okay with looking at someone’s eyes when they look away but I can’t hold eye contact for more than a second without feeling so uncomfortable, like my neck/back of my head does this weird vibration thing and I have to look away. usually I look at my hands or just past them

[ercat7301]

I am trying to get better with eye contact. For many years I have avoided looking at others (I still do at times), and walk with my head down.

[rrd0084]

I have the same problem, I have to make a concerted effort to remind myself to make eye contact or else I just look forward or down or some other direction it is something very unnatural for me. I hate eye contact makes me think I am looking into someones soul or something I am working on it but it comes down to mindfulness.

[Rythm]

I have trouble with having eye contact. When I talk to someone I look at everything but their eyes and it’s really annoying but I can’t just look in someone’s eyes too long. I just feel like every second I make eye contact is 10 seconds for someone else and I feel like it’s creepy when I look someone in their eyes

[daynrand]

Originally Posted by Breadfish

How are you with eye contact?

My Dad used to really make a point of telling his kids to do certain things, like "Look people in the eye when you're talking with them!" or, "Use a strong grip when shaking hands... it's a sign of a weak man to have a limp handshake." (That last 1 even for his girls.) (Which I am 1 of, btw ) I always wanted to please him, even though it was so difficult, like most of you have written. I did develop a firm handshake without a problem, & to this day it really bothers me when the other person's hand feels like a wet fish! But I would have to make myself do the "look people in the eye" thing no matter how creepy it felt, & it certainly did feel creepy. To me, it was like I was staring at their eyes, & like they were staring back. If it was somebody I was comfortable with, I simply didn't notice whether I was meeting their gaze or not. Otherwise, I not only noticed, I was almost in pain trying to "be polite". It felt like the exact opposite of polite, to me.

However, like TheStrange wrote, I heard somebody say it was a good idea to look at an area close to the eyes if it made you uncomfortable to look directly at someone's eyes, & I began trying to look at their eyebrows or at the bridge of their nose, & by golly, it really works. For me, anyway. It no longer bothers me simply b/c I no longer have to do it. And, BTW, I don't think we're the only ones who feel uncomfortable with the matter, b/c I've read or heard that it bothers a lot of people.

[Mountaindewed]

I absolutely hate eye contact. It feels like I’m looking into someone’s soul.

[daynrand]

Originally Posted by Bozdickens

I absolutely hate eye contact. It feels like I’m looking into someone’s soul.

I know, it just feels really creepy, huh?

[cool09]

I don't make eye contact even with my Dad. People think something's wrong with you when you don't. I get distracted looking into someone's eyes and can't think.

I don't look people in the eyes. I might out of curiosity but I almost never look people in the eyes. I avert my gaze from peoples eyes. I don't know what it is exactly but I don't like focusing on peoples eyes.

[rrd0084]

The whole seeing into another person's soul is a thing I had to deal with as well. You have to almost force yourself to do it and eventually it almost becomes second nature. I still have a problem with it at times because for whatever reason there is like a flush of thoughts and emotions that occur when making eye contact but it does calm down.

[mina_xo]

Eye contact is so weird for me. I like to study faces, because I'm really into cartooning, but it completely freaks me out when people look back.

[BrowseAfterMidnight]

I find it very uncomfortable as well. I'm OK with looking at people's eyes when they're not looking into mine, but once they look straight into mine, I have to look away in a second. It's just so overwhelming sometimes. Some people's eyes are so overwhelming/scary/intricate that they take up all of my attention and freak me out at the same time. If I make myself look into someone's eyes for too long, I get anxious and this takes a minute or so to recover from.

[JayJay1999]

Whenever I accidentally make eye contact I have a miny panic attack. All I can think is,
"Why are we looking at each other"
"Am I telling them something when I do this"
"This feels too intimate"
"Well... This is awkward"
And...
"This is just makes uncomfortable"

[kvinneakt]

I have been called out about my lack of eye contact many times. In the past few years some have mentioned I am making better eye contact. I figured it out. I am lip reading due to increasing deafness. I learned this without any effort. Amazingly, it helps understand English in foreign accents when you lip read the actors!

[BadWolfC]

I hate it. I only make eye contact with someone if I really like them.