just have to vent!

To cut it very short: Our son had a major outburst yesterday evening... broke his glasses throwing them on the floor ... kicking... screaming... hitting... -to mention only a few things he did. The worker here in our home - she couldn't deal with him so I had to do it on my own... It kept on for quite a long time and I had to prevent him from getting to his sister. Eventually I managed to calm him down using distraction "big time". You really need to have fantasy and that FAST to come up with things that might work.

This morning our daughter was a pain in the butt. Well... yes I know she's struggling too because of our situation with her brother... but this morning she was just too too much.

I'm an exhausted, sad and upset mother today... blaaaah

Just had to get it out... at least some of it....

((((Daynight))))) Lots of hugs to you. Sounds like you need a break big-time. I hope you get a break soon, though I know motherhood is 24/7. Being a mother is a hard work that deserves attention and praise, especially when mothering a special child. Wish you and your family the best.

im sorry you are fighting this fight still, wondering if there are anything that daughter can do to help make her feel special groups for support of siblings of disabled children, not sure what they will have to offer

i know having friends round can be difficult, maybe she can have a friend to go somewhere special with her when son is doing other stuff
dont forget to have time for you

(((((( daynnight ))))))

You are in my thoughts...

Take care

((daynnight))) I truly know how hard it is. ((big hug to you)))
By any chance could the worker next time take your daughter out.
That way she is first helping you and you do not have to worry about your daughter/
while that is going on.
I know that just alittle change can upset your son as mine was upset at that age.
Did something happen to trigger this?
Can you make a safe place for him in your home for when he is upset. Where he can go and be by himself. Safe of course. I know when they have reached the point of anger . Its almost to late you have to wait for it to pass or as you said devert their attention.
With my son at that age I had made a safe place for him. He could if he needed yell..cry if he needed too. It is so very hard on him. most hard on your daughter as it was on mine.
So hard on the parents as no one knows but you how seeing his pain effects the whole family.
The sad part is your son loves you and I am sure his sister, He just hurting inside.
and that is how it comes out when he is fustrated.
Please know i care and you are a good Mom. Tell your daughter she is a good sister.
Tell your son there is Hope.

thanks all for reading and commenting in such a caring way!

I know what triggered him... but it couldn't be prevented.

Yes, it's much harder to get through to him with distraction if he's already very upset... That's when his special interest is very useful to lead his mind to. But... yes... it better be good... something to really grab a hold of his attention. Other times you just have to "ride the wave"... trying to protect yourself and others... also to protect him. He can get very violent.

When I have to deal my son having an outburst - I ask the "worker" to go be with my daughter. If it's possible that is. Very often we all (all= 2 or 3 adults) need to help each other out calming him down. That's when I feel so bad my daughter having hear and see a lot. She loves her brother but she's also scared of him. I always sit down and talk to her afterwards... but sometimes I don't get a chance to do that until quite a while later.
Our daughter goes to a support family every other weekend to get a change of scenery and calmness around her.

Now we're doing another observation on our son. This time we're documenting his provoking moments toward; me and hubby, the "worker" and others... and also the self harming.

I just can't believe it took so long to find a psychologist who really "gets it". She's very good!... at least so far.
She's going to use this method as a guide:
ABA=

Quote:

"Applied Behavioral Analysis All behavior modification training programs are part of a larger field of therapy known as applied behavior analysis. Based on learning theories, applied behavior analysis seeks to improve social skills and minimize outbursts of unwanted behavior. Applied behavior analysis concentrates on teaching autistic children academic skills, social skills, and "adaptive living" skills. Adaptive living skills are day-to-day skills such as personal hygiene, motor skills, eating, and cooking. Applied behavior analysis also teaches work skills, time, and money concepts." http://www.autism-treatments.com/articles/treating-autism/behavior-modification.php

When it comes to creating a "safe place" for our son - we did that. Our son has a hard time being alone though and especially in these moments filled with distress. He seeks the comfort and safety in us... but in the wrong way... until he finally falls apart and we have to comfort him and take care of him.

We're all in this together and we all suffer due to his disorders... but our son is the one hurting the most living a life in a confusing world.

((((((((( all of you ))))))))))

/daynnight