[AzulOscuro]

Cure or acceptation

I'm thinking in both, the one who has social anxiety or the avoidants. From what I know, they are problems difficult to overcome.
Ok, social anxiety has a better prognoxis than AvPD.
Then, we also have that avoidants who develop social anxiety, that it's my own case.

From my experience they are impossible to cure.

Just, yesterday I have a bad moment related to my social anxiety and I did social exposure therapy and all that stuff.

What I want to ask here, and Hoasis gave me the idea for this thread, is what are your expectations in relation to your disorder? Are these expectations so high that you feel stuck and think that you can't do anything to improve? Have you find some level of acceptation of your limits and you learnt to live with them? If so, it could be usefull to share here how you get it.
Thank you in advance!

[Hoasis]

I think you are touching a very important subject here Azul! Personally I get the impression social anxiety can be treated and the persons dealing with this and only this can get a life totally without social anxiety with good and successful treatment.
This is what I sought after in my 20's. I did group therapy, psychiatrists, social experiments etc but didnt get anywhere. After a while I realized I had AvPD and now I am basically set with this life and know I wont get any better. But also its better because I now know I have to accept what I have and what I will never have. So no more treatment for me, I basically try to make the best out of it!

What about you,Azul, I am curious about your feelings about this

[A Red Panda]

Well, I've been pretty successful at "curing" a lot of my behaviours. Not all mind, but a lot. I keep working on them, although it always feels really fake.... I just learned to work with the fears.

The deeper parts.... about how I feel about how people will think and feel about me? And how I thnk and feel about myself? At my core? I don't know if I can ever get those to change. I've tried, and I keep trying. It doesn't seem to really change any, so I'm just trying to work my brain around how to accept it.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

Well, I've been pretty successful at "curing" a lot of my behaviours. Not all mind, but a lot. I keep working on them, although it always feels really fake.... I just learned to work with the fears.

The deeper parts.... about how I feel about how people will think and feel about me? And how I thnk and feel about myself? At my core? I don't know if I can ever get those to change. I've tried, and I keep trying. It doesn't seem to really change any, so I'm just trying to work my brain around how to accept it.

Yes, you can. I did it. Ok, not in my first therapy but I did it with time. First, self-acceptance, second growing self-steem. I also wonder what people feel or think about me but it's not as before. I have now the tendency to think in possitive, that's because I now see my valúes.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Hoasis

I think you are touching a very important subject here Azul! Personally I get the impression social anxiety can be treated and the persons dealing with this and only this can get a life totally without social anxiety with good and successful treatment.
This is what I sought after in my 20's. I did group therapy, psychiatrists, social experiments etc but didnt get anywhere. After a while I realized I had AvPD and now I am basically set with this life and know I wont get any better. But also its better because I now know I have to accept what I have and what I will never have. So no more treatment for me, I basically try to make the best out of it!

What about you,Azul, I am curious about your feelings about this

I always knew I had something moré than social anxiety or a social phobia. I used to listen to a radio programe and a doctor explained the difference between a social phobia and Perfectionism.
Obviously the second one had a worse prognosis.

Anyway, when I could afford i went to therapy: Cognitive therapy.
And go on doing different kinds of therapy up to being diagnosed with AvPD and strong trait of perfectionism. So, I did my last therapy and did all the stuff about soçial therapy exposure, changing my patterns of thinking...it was a released and I learnt to cope with my problems and live with them. I always knew I had no cure but it doesn't mind. I learnt a lot along the road. Yeah, I regret the time I lost in my seven years of isolation. But, well, I took the wrong decission, now I have the background to choose my way with a better understanding.

I go on working. This morning I talked with a friend about three points that I had to overcome through social therapy exposure and I'm gonna do it.

Mainly, I learnt to be understanding with others and myself. I had very rigid thinking patterns, like any person who has a personality disorder.

For me acceptance is the best I can hope for. -while knowing, for me personally, the better I take care of myself and kinder I treat myself the more I will feel/think/behave in a 'cured' manner. Also, for me to know no person is ever exempt from the struggle of life...avoidance and anxiety just happens to be one of my struggles. It does help me a lot when I force myself to look around and be grateful for all the struggles that I don't have.

Also, if I were to cure anxiety I would still be introverted....and I'm completely ok with that. Right now for me, my biggest problem is other peoples' unwillingness to accept me as I am where I am.