Live inside my mind

Hey so I have this thing where I live inside of different fantasy worlds inside my mind. I can't recall specifically when it started happening but I have been doing it for 10 years now. It used to be something I did after school and it was always because of music. I would put on headphones and go off into a fantasy where I am sitting in class at school and a guy comes in and recognizes me he has a magical ability or something where he can show events kinda like a projector I guess he shows my classmates who I "really am". When it first started I was usually a famous musician and whatever music I was listening to was actually my song then it became Athlete then got weird to where I was demon or angel or even an alien. More recently it has been everything from president or Prime minister to dictator (though usually benevolent). A few years ago it started happening to where I didn't need the music and I didn't do it on purpose I just stayed in fantasy mode. Now I am constantly in it even doing something else like talking to someone I am mentally not there and I can't seem to stop it. Also it has gotten to where its no longer in a classroom setting I just have fantasies about someone else being around me mostly a girl Is in bed with me cuddling sleeping next to one another or it could be a good friend who I am just having a good conversation with the friend I never had I guess. Is there any way to stop this? It seems kinda all consuming now. There are benefits I guess when I'm angry I usually put on my headphones and disappear become something else. It used to help me when I was feeling suicidal and it seemed to help a little with my depression but it doesn't help those anymore. This is actually my first time ever talking about about this I know its weird. I read that in AVPD people sometimes create a fantasy world.

As long as you can tell the difference between fantasy and reality it's all good.

Perhaps decode your fantasy as a dream.
Its always interesting what the inner-self is trying to tell us.

Well yes I do know the difference between reality and fantasy. I was reading about a fantasy prone personality I used to think it was a mental disorder but apparently its not considered to be. You mean like look for common themes in the fantasies?

I usually break the the dream down to different parts and its puts a story together of where the fantasy comes from.

Small example with music, musician, and projector would be. I

To hear harmonious and soothing music in your dream signifies prosperity and pleasure. You are expressing your emotions in a positive way. Music serves to heal the soul.

If you are not a musician in your waking life, but dream that you are one, then it implies that you need to be more expressive about your feelings.

To see or use an overhead projector in your dream suggests that you need to "project" yourself. You need to make your presence known and your voice heard.

Snap

So you're saying I have trouble expressing myself?

You're the only one who will know that.
I will decode some more for you, maybe to help build a bit more of the picture:-

To dream that you are an athlete suggests that you have pushed yourself to the limits. You have achieved something which you thought you could not do. Just be careful not to overextend yourself.

To see angels in your dream symbolize goodness, purity, protection, comfort and consolation. Pay careful attention to the message that the angels are trying to convey. These messages serve as a guide toward greater fulfillment and happiness. Alternatively, it signifies an unusual disturbance in your soul.

To dream that you are an alien symbolizes the undiscovered part of yourself. Your manifestation as an alien may be your way of "escaping" from reality. Dreams of this nature also symbolize your outlandish ideas and your wild imagination.

To see the president of your country in your dream symbolizes authority, power and control. Your own personal views and opinions of the president and their actions will also play strongly in the significance of this dream.

To dream that you are running for president signifies your quest for power. You have set high goals for yourself. Alternatively, the dream indicates your belief that you can do a better job if you were in charge of things. You have a lot of confidence in your abilities.

To see or dream that you are a dictator suggests that you need to be more flexible and open-minded in your thinking and in your decision making. You are being too controlling. The dream dictator may also symbolize an over controlling father or father figure.

To dream that you are in a classroom indicates that you are learning an important life lesson. Alternatively, it symbolizes personal growth. You are learning something about yourself.

Well honestly almost none of those things describe me I certainly don't have confidence in any ability I do not push myself beyond my physical limits I never had a father figure type in my life and I don't think I'm learning anything about myself.

As for the angels I do aspire to be good I try hard but it just never seems to work out and the aliens I think its more about me not fitting in anywhere and trying to think of a reason why actually when I was a kid I went through a phase where I thought I really might be an alien I was just so different than everyone else

I've been thinking that all of these might have something to do with power but not in any negative way I want people to think I'm powerful so they wouldn't mess with memaybe

G'day TGW

Its all a learning curve between who you are and who you want to be.

I too have a place of escapism. I use it to sleep. Its like a safe place where I make steps to achieve and accomplish what i cant accomplish in real life.

Snap

My apologizes for my interruption in your dialogue but I'd like to add my opinión.

I'm totally agreed with Snap.
It sounds to me as the dreams, only that in day dreaming we are asleep.
It has to have a psychological meaning, as dreams.
The Grey Wolf, Snap gave you some suggestions about what could mean your fiction lifes. Obviously, you are the best to know or discover what all these lifes mean to you. These things are very personal so you are the right one to test your day dreaming.
You are compensate your lacks in your real life.

How can you stop it? I will tell you my experince. I went out of it by doing real things. I had to find a balance between what I wished and what I had.

I hope you find your way.

Is it maladaptive daydreaming?

It sounds exactly like what I used to do! It started out only on car rides then progressed to almost all the time I was 'dreaming' I was this other person. For me it was a maladaptive coping mechanism I used and had to learn to turn it off. Sometimes now I wish I could retreat back into my fantasy world again

I don't know a lot about maladaptive daydreaming

I founded this article in the internet that can be pretty clarifying.Maladaptive Daydreaming ? What Is It?

Do you by any chance play a lot of video games or did you when younger? I often wonder about how those shape our thought processes and what we think about.

a little bit but I had stopped playing pretty much when I started this

I've done it all my life. I usually use it as a distraction to keep from worrying about senseless things ~ one's I have no control over. As a child, I rode an imaginary horse EVERYWHERE, holding the reins in front of me, and having to tie it up after school recess. I don't know if anyone ever knew what I was doing, . I'm 56 now, and still prefer my cozy little 'world inside my mind' to the real one I avoid most of the time.

Thank you so much for this

this article sounds exactly like me

do you have this?

No, I don't. I used to do day dreaming when I felt urges to socialize and scape from myself and be a different person. I used to do it when I was completely alone. I imagine myself being a famous singer.
Now, I have other methods of scapisms like music.

As I told you before, in the way you fill your real life out with significant things you will need less to do the day dreaming.
I would also add that self-acceptation could be useful.

I don't see day dreaming as an issue, you said that you know the difference between fantasy and reality, so there's nothing wrong with escaping.

If you can find some more information of dreaming and you're interested definitely read up on it as its so important (and interesting:-) to see how we tick.

This is my own views so take it with a grain of salt.
Dreaming is a symptom and not the core issue, for example you can pour litres of water on smoke but you cant stop it... pour water on the fire (the core) and the smoke stops.
Dreaming is a symptom of our want to be accepted, to be liked, to do what others do and for us to feel good about who we are.

So you can see its only natural that we're going to day dream simply because of our insecurities and wants.
Again i don't see day dreaming an issue and it tends to fade on its own as life goes on.

Snap

The Grey Wolf, I'm with Snap. Day dreaming is not going to hurt you.
I understand you bc when I did it a lot, I used to wonder if I could become a nut.
But, believe me. You won't become such a thing bc you can see what is real and what isn't.

I had no idea that other people did this. It's not weird to me and I'm not sure if there is a way to stop. But I understand why would want to. Not of the time I can't remember of things actually happened or if it was all in my other world.
Plus it's scary when I catch myself having conversations with friends who don't exist.

Soo you're not alone

I do think it's common in those of us with AvPD. It can become troubling, but it isn't necessarily. The only way I'd worry about it would be is if it became so frequent that I was literally living through them (which does happen), meaning that I wasn't actively trying to recover (hesitate using that word for a personality disorder - but it's the only one I can think of) because I was content living vicariously through my daydreaming instead of trying to learn to cope with my AvPD symptoms. As long as one can separate the daydreams from reality, and is trying to reach a point in which they can cope with the AvPD, I don't think it's bad.

My daydreaming has occurred since childhood. I was spacey even then. I tend to space out, lost in my own daydreams. Sometimes, I kind of do live through them, but not to the point where I don't want to live outside of them, too (if that makes any sense). I have become a writer, though, so many people expect me to daydream. Thus, many (including my family) never really thought of it as a symptom. But rather, a personality trait. It does make me an amazing writer, if I do say so myself (that's the one place I have a lot of confidence). So, at the very least, I have drawn something very positive from it. I guess people are more accepting of it when you're a writer. Us writers do tend to have whole worlds in our heads. I, also, happen to spend much of my day in mine.

I think creative people in general have rich inner worlds.

I believe I have a low level of AVPD, always have since a young age- it's usually a result of severe social anxiety. I've worked on it over the years and it's gotten better to a degree- I understand the fnatady world- I love escaping into books and shows and movies and even lucid dreams- but I've never experinced what you're talking about. Perhaps a psychologist would know more. I majored in the subject in college but all this makes me think of is perhaps you have shizotypal disorder? I have a mild form of it myself, but more in terms of ridiuclous thoughts that I know aren't true. This sounds similar, you're having these ful on fantsies that you know aren't real, but are having trouble controlling. You can probably be prescribed a low dose of something to help relivefe these symptoms if they are getting progressively worse in terms of being invasicve to your everday life (which is what it sounds like?) I don't know, just a thought.

Have you been diagnosed AvPD AngstyLady.

I ask bc you have used the words "I believe I have low level of AvPD". and if you're not diagnosed I'm at a loss to know how you would know what AvPD is.

Also I have never heard of a low level Avoidant.. unless your confusing it with SA?