Feeling that you loose time

AzulOscuro · Dec 16, 2014 at 10:07 AM

I'm 42 years old. Lately, I have a strong feeling of sadness.
I'm thinking about how much time I lost in the past because of my disorder.

I self-isolated myself for 7 years when I was 17. I had lots of inferiority and physical complexes.
I came back life at 24 when I began to work as a teacher and I could afford paying a therapy. My first psychologist helped me a lot to cope with my professional life, if it wouldn't be for him, I wasn't able to live in that town were I had to stablish my first relations far from my family.

Now, that I have moré confident and I learnt to live with my problem, I wonder about all the things that I could have lived if I would go to a therapist before.
To be honest, this is my main reason to be in a forum like that. I want to say younger people out loud, look for help, as sooner as you can.

Do you also have this feeling? And if you are young, what do you think about it? Are you attending to therapy? How are you doing in the therapy? Do you believe that you are progressing?

kaliope · Dec 16, 2014 at 04:48 PM

i did not get help till my forties when i had been sick since my teens. i often wonder how different life would have been if i had gotten help and meds when i was 18. i spent 30 years suffering. of course i have a good life now and three wonderful children so it is not a regret, but still, how different would life have been?

AzulOscuro · Dec 16, 2014 at 07:23 PM

I wonder why the hell I didn't ask my parents for help. I did the very best to pretend there wasn't a problem while I wrote on my journal " I don't know when this depression is going to end". I did the wrong thing, nearly waiting for a miracle, as if I were waiting things solve them out on their own, without doing anything, without knowing what to do.
I was so naive.

Hugs back!

Snap66 · Dec 18, 2014 at 04:49 AM

I don't believe we loose time, we just start life later than normies.

A Red Panda · Dec 18, 2014 at 08:08 AM

I don't view it as lost time, but wasted time.

I've wasted a lot of time over the years due to fear. Other people have wasted a lot of time partying. Others wasted a lot of time in relationships they didn't want to be in.

I think that a lot of people waste their time for different reasons, not even related to mental health diagnoses. So... I prefer to view myself as having wasted time as opposed to having lost it.

Snap66 · Dec 18, 2014 at 09:12 AM

wasted time.. perhaps:-)

Personally I now feel that I had to burn the first 44 years of my life to try and shed enough of the internal conflict to start again (although i spiraled out of control into depression for a long time
And that "wasted time" in my case had to happen. although I didn't know that at the time, but its liken it the phoenix raising from the ashes with a different mind set being better prepared to tackle same issues.

Naturally you don't change and perhaps what once mattered doesn't matter as much or I have found better ways to avoid, what ever it was that i had to waste that time to shed the past.

AzulOscuro · Dec 18, 2014 at 09:32 AM

I rosen from the ashes two years ago, so I'm two years old. Congratulations, I only lost, wasted id kicked 40 years. What a great suscess!

40 years to understand I'm like everybody and that I deserve the same as anybody, to don't give a damn about what others think about me, to feel free.

Don't listen to me. I used to be very possitive, in fact, I'm learning to see the humor thing in everything but I'm living a bad moment. Sorry so much!

Snap66 · Dec 18, 2014 at 10:01 AM

Arrrr but you have forgotten that those years are now behind you:-)

Happy 2nd birthday:-)

I'm 3 years old.

AzulOscuro · Dec 18, 2014 at 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snap66

Arrrr but you have forgotten that those years are now behind you:-)

Happy 2nd birthday:-)

I'm 3 years old.

Yeah, you're right. You have to go through experiences to learn a little about life.
This is the reason why I regret the 7 fu_cking years I was isolated. Why the hell my parents did nothing. I can't understand. If I would have a child isolated in her room, I would cross hell and Heaven to help her.

fraidykat · Dec 18, 2014 at 05:12 PM

Believe ME I understand your pain...but think about how far public awareness of mental health related problems have come in recent years *not to mention how much more aware the world needs to become * Then think of 40+ years ago, and what your parents must have thought. Without a physical, obvious illness ~ they could probably only 'assume' their child was 'shy' and would 'grow out of it'. I hadn't heard of even Social Anxiety until probably 15 years ago ~ and AvPD approx. 3 months ago!

AzulOscuro · Dec 18, 2014 at 06:10 PM

Yeah, I'm being very unfair with my parents. I remember my dad used to tell me: why do you hide yourself? You are like everybody. You don't have anything bad.
You are also right, it was a different time and going to the psychologist or psychiatrist are considered you were a nut. At least, this is what my dad thought.

You knew about avoidant PD three months ago, so you are a baby. Lol!

fraidykat · Dec 18, 2014 at 07:28 PM

waaaa!

Snap66 · Dec 19, 2014 at 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fraidykat

Believe ME I understand your pain...but think about how far public awareness of mental health related problems have come in recent years *not to mention how much more aware the world needs to become * Then think of 40+ years ago, and what your parents must have thought. Without a physical, obvious illness ~ they could probably only 'assume' their child was 'shy' and would 'grow out of it'. I hadn't heard of even Social Anxiety until probably 15 years ago ~ and AvPD approx. 3 months ago!

+1
So true... great piece of advice fraidy :-)

AzulOscuro · Dec 19, 2014 at 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snap66

+1
So true... great piece of advice fraidy :-)

She is súper cool. She is my friend. We are both radical animal defenders.

mountain human · Dec 19, 2014 at 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

I don't view it as lost time, but wasted time.

I've wasted a lot of time over the years due to fear. Other people have wasted a lot of time partying. Others wasted a lot of time in relationships they didn't want to be in.

I think that a lot of people waste their time for different reasons, not even related to mental health diagnoses. So... I prefer to view myself as having wasted time as opposed to having lost it.

Good response RP. I self-diagnosed at an early age with depression, went to therapy and took anti-depressants in my 30's with moderate effect. I only learned the terms "social anxiety" and "AvPD" a few months ago after going back to therapy after suffering a really good panic attack. I thought that forcing myself to be sociable would cure me, haha, it just reinforces that there's something wrong with me. My usual pattern is to slink back into avoidance and social isolation, depression inevitably follows.

AzulOscuro · Dec 20, 2014 at 12:33 PM

I also go back to my avoidant patterns but I daré to do moré things than before.
That's include moré contact with people, even with the oppossite sex.
Thanks to therapy I learnt to accept myself and have moré affection for myself.

Does it count?

mountain human · Dec 22, 2014 at 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

I also go back to my avoidant patterns but I daré to do moré things than before.
That's include moré contact with people, even with the oppossite sex.
Thanks to therapy I learnt to accept myself and have moré affection for myself.

Does it count?

Yes! Self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-forgiveness are the true foundations of forming intimate relationships with the rest of the human race, IMO. I've been in therapy for a few months and my therapist preaches this constantly. I think he's onto something, but it's still hard for me. Too much guilt and shame still there.

AzulOscuro · Dec 22, 2014 at 08:15 PM

I wish you luck, honey. Follow your therapist advises and say him/her what you feel and what you need work.
Buena suerte!

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Snap66 Member Member Since Nov 2011 Location: 1000 miles from nowhere. Posts: 311 12 3 hugs given	Dec 18, 2014 at 04:49 AM #4 I don't believe we loose time, we just start life later than normies. __________________ Diagnosed: AvPD. It’s never alright. It comes and it goes. It’s always around, even when it don’t show. They say it gets better. well I guess that it might. But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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Snap66 Member Member Since Nov 2011 Location: 1000 miles from nowhere. Posts: 311 12 3 hugs given	Dec 18, 2014 at 10:01 AM #8 Arrrr but you have forgotten that those years are now behind you:-) Happy 2nd birthday:-) I'm 3 years old. __________________ Diagnosed: AvPD. It’s never alright. It comes and it goes. It’s always around, even when it don’t show. They say it gets better. well I guess that it might. But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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fraidykat Member Member Since Nov 2014 Location: USA Posts: 45 9 2 hugs given	Dec 18, 2014 at 07:28 PM #12 waaaa! __________________ From deep within our secret soul do demons dwell and take their toll
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AzulOscuro Grand Magnate Member Since Nov 2014 Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!) Posts: 3,825 9 1,758 hugs given	Dec 20, 2014 at 12:33 PM #16 I also go back to my avoidant patterns but I daré to do moré things than before. That's include moré contact with people, even with the oppossite sex. Thanks to therapy I learnt to accept myself and have moré affection for myself. Does it count?
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AzulOscuro Grand Magnate Member Since Nov 2014 Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!) Posts: 3,825 9 1,758 hugs given	Dec 22, 2014 at 08:15 PM #18 I wish you luck, honey. Follow your therapist advises and say him/her what you feel and what you need work. Buena suerte!
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