Reasons why you avoid

I feel a lot of these things as well. I do not want to be a disappointment to the people that matter most in my life. And I'm very new at this so my level of expertise is not high, but I think maybe you may benefit from what I would like to do as well. I feel that a lot of these problems stem from my own self-esteem. If you do not have confidence in yourself, can you expect others to have confidence and respect for you? I'm going to start by believing that I am worth something, believing that I have a purpose in life, and really showing that to myself. And hey, they always say the first step is to admit you have a problem. Maybe this is the next step on your journey. Just know you are not alone, and I'm sure we are not the only people on this website who have these same feelings. It's going to get better!

This is how I feel about it.

My first thought was 'because I'm lazy' but I know that's not it. I've been feeling lazy lately because I lack the motivation and drive I used to have to create and exercise. My attention span is also really short these days but didn't used to be.

I think it really comes down to a lack of self worth and the fear other's have talked about where I am afraid that I won't be able to handle the friendship. I fear the only people that would want to be with me will abuse and smother me. My father was abusive, my mother smothering (she looked to me to support her emotionally or neglected). Every substantial relationship I've had has been with someone that ignored, abused or smothered me but I realize I chose them because I didn't think I deserved more and was looking to reinforce my early relationships.

Tired. I know so much more now. I know, intellectually, I deserve better and can have better but I feel too tired to deal with the anxiety that comes with trying.

I'm working on my motivation, trying to get myself to do things like exercise more and eat well and hoping these will give me the energy to try again. I accept that I will have to confront my anxiety when it comes to people so I'm focusing on other ways I'm avoidant (like going to dentist and procrastination).

I used to avoid eating or drinking coffee in public because I was so nervous(especially with the opposite sex) that my hands shook very badly and was very obvious, I used to be mortified if anyone passed a comment about it. I eventually stopped meeting anyone for food or drink when anxiety was high. I have most of what has already been said too.

The reasons are almost similar in my case. I avoid because:

- fear of failure.
- fear of refusal.
- feeling unwanted.

When I find no excuse to avoid confrontation, I say to myself 'I'll do it tomorrow', but that tomorrow hardly comes