[JadeAmethyst]

What would it be, to be content with any part of your daily living situation?
Can you find one thing about "avoidant" that has a practical application to your life?

Just a question to ponder. Keep it simple as you can.

thanks
Jade

[JadeAmethyst]

ok, being avoidant gives me time to be still, at times that used to be frantic, slowing down the pace and internal pressure is a new skill. I feel grateful for this today.

thanks
Jade

[AzulOscuro]

When I don't feel depressed I find some motivation in my job, my family, nature, music, books...nothing to be grateful for being an avoidant, having depression, being a social phobic or having borderline or dependency traits. All these are the **** that stop me to live and enjoy life.

[JadeAmethyst]

enjoy your job, family, nature and music sounds like a lot to be thankful for
when your friends tell you what they see, the goodness in you, strength, it seems like that is amazing appreciating you, accepting you as you are as a human being.

The diagnosis are labels, cause discomfort, frustration...understand where you are coming from.

Jade

Being avoidant has saved me from making rash decisions and living with the consequences.

[AzulOscuro]

I'm very happy that for you, GreenMoss, being an avoidant has something possitive for you. If I understood well, it's the same as Jade says.
I'm not so optimistic. I want to live. I want to do well but I also want to make a fool of myself without worring about failure. I want to be nice but I also want to be a ***** when it's necessary.
I can joking around the godnesses of being avoidant but there are only jokes.
Said that, it's better to think in a possitive way.
Having my issues and going to therapy helped me to see people in a more possitive way, less inflexible...and it's a great relief bc that way I see myself with much more understanding.

[mountain human]

Having an avoidant personality allows me lots of free time since I don't have to deal with friends, a wife, children, a social life, etc. Yeah, some real positives there...

[JadeAmethyst]

Some days are better than others, that's true. Anyway, the replies are welcome.

Jade

[BreakForTheLight]

The one time my AvPD should have saved me from being an idiot, it didn't.

I was feeling brave and I trusted because I was in love. Being in love motivated me to go against everything my AvPD was telling me. But I took it too far..... I think I acted almost borderline. And I fell flat on my face. So no more fighting the AvPD.

[AzulOscuro]

Lol! I think each one of us can act following each one of the criteria for each disorder. This is what love has. It makes of us completely assholes.

[JadeAmethyst]

......

[BreakForTheLight]

Really, has love ever turned you into a narcissist? Or a sociopath?

Guess you're right that it makes us all do crazy things. But it's not funny how I screwed up this one.
My reaction to the rejection was pure avoidant again.

But it's getting a bit off topic now, sorry JadeAmethyst!

[AzulOscuro]

No, love doesn't turn me in a psychopath or a narcissists or whatever. I'm saying that under some circumstances we can behave in a way we aren't. For example; I use to follow the rules. Does it mean that I always followed the rules and that I never broke one. No. It doesn't make of me an AsPD.

What I want to express is be careful with labels. Don't put them on yourself. And mainly, don't let others put labels on you.

[JadeAmethyst]

In therapy, T kept saying avoidant a lot, and until recently baffled me. Today, I understand that my priorities were way off. So, here's to questioning old traditions and beliefs, and starting over, and over, however and whatever. It's never too late to learn something new.

[AzulOscuro]

Your priorities way off? What do you mean? You mean that you were moré dedicated to care of others than of yourself??

[JadeAmethyst]

Dear Azul
thank you for your reply.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by JadeAmethyst

Dear Azul
thank you for your reply.

It wasn't a reply. It was a question. :-))))
It's sometimes hard for me to understand.

[gayleggg]

My daughter gives me motivation. It doesn't take much of a nudge from her to get me going. Otherwise, I spend most of my time on the couch watching TV, being on PC or reading.

[Snap66]

My motivation comes via responsibly, expectation, forced or the odd high although thats short lived with a strong dose of reality.

Motivation is based on several factors such as what needs to be done,- or how i might get out of it, - or if put on the spot, how i can wing it.

[JadeAmethyst]

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

Your priorities way off? What do you mean? You mean that you were moré dedicated to care of others than of yourself??

yes, that is true, it is best to practice self care first in my case at least.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by JadeAmethyst

yes, that is true, it is best to practice self care first in my case at least.

Good point! If you don't care of yourself, rarely you will be able to care of someone else in an effective way.
I wish you very luck in your therapy.
Not sure of I read it before but I can't remember it.
Can I ask you what kind of therapy are you following?

[JadeAmethyst]

Dear Az
CBT and Exposure Therapy; and journaling are helpful, and of course coming here too is helpful.

[Nicky123]

Fear and anger are my main motivators.

The fear of regressing keeps me going.