Out of energy

Now that I have my vacations I'm feeling as if I ran out of energy. It was such a stressing course. Fighting to do the things well, facing to anxiety, fighting against my thoughts that are always telling me that I'm not a normal person, feeling incompetent.
One more year, I was about to quit my profession.
I'm now analysing all I could have done better, because it's never enough. I always feel incompetent.
I guess it's my perfectionism. I'm so fed up with it. I only can focus on the negative side and blame myself when something is not working or there is a problem.
I receive affection from the most part of my kids but I only consider the ones who confront me. I feel it like a rejection and I blame myself.

All these years of therapy helped me to cope with social interactions. I can do things in a natural way that I couldn't even dream of before. But, in regards my self-esteem issues or my tendency to avoid contact situations if I'm not forced to them, I didn't get anything.

Hello AzulOscuro: The Skeezyks pretty-much just keeps to himself to the greatest extent possible. It's simply easier. I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find deep peace within...

By definition, if you feel like you're drained of energy because you're no longer around people all day, you're an extrovert. What you should do is make sure you're out of the house and interacting with people every day. You might even look into getting a summer job, like waitressing, just so you interact with people. It will distract you from the negative thoughts, and you'll feel better being around people.

Hello Oscuro
I know how it feels... it's the worst feeling there is...
Maybe you can involve yourself with some kind of volunteer soical interaction which brings duties with it once you've asigned for it... that way you have something to stay occupied and involved with people. I always set myself responsibilities which force myself to "go on".... otherwise anxiety and procrastination would strike me down...

I'm an extrovert...I think. But I don't feel comfortable with people. Only with a few ones who I feel accepted and understand me. Most of tge time, I enjoy my solitary time. Normaly, being around people for a time leaves me without energy because it's exhausting the constant worring about if I'm doing things well and I'm being accepting. My main fear is to see a detail than can lead me to think that I'm not welcome or making a mistake.
Along with this, I end up so tired after doing so much effort to do things that can be consider welldone. And of course, there's always a but.
But, You're right. In some way, I have to involve myself in doing things on my free-time because I know that if I let me go, I will feel worse in my self-esteem and confidence. I'm afraid I got used to a certain dossage of stress and it's like a drug.

Yes, it is. It's hard to believe but at my age, I still feel like I'm out of place. As if anyone could do what I do much better. It's a very strong thought. People can tell you that you do things very well, " why do you think your principal gave you so hard squedule this year? " Asked my guy. " if you weren't able to do it, had he given you it? ".
I'm sorry you have to deal as well with this issue.
I reached some grade of acceptance but that's it.

I'm also feeling a bit out of energy the past few months.

I think it's because I'm overthinking things. Every little thing is SOMETHING. It's just a habit of mine to think things through to the bitter end in my head. It's always the worst case scenario too. That's just a major downer.

It also doesn't help that no matter what I do I wake up at 5:30-6am. It doesn't matter what time I sleep, how tired or drunk I am. I'm up by 6.


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