my head

Voices are lurking just above the surface, gulping air They want to steal my air. They want to consume me and call me their own. I don't have a moment to wonder why I am so wanted, I am busy fighting and fighting. So tired of fighting. Having the same argument over and over for what seems like forever. If I could have just one day of peace from that nagging from the compulsions from the seduction. Why do I believe they voices? They know all my secrets, every single one. They now me from the inside to the out. Who better to believe? The voice always wins in the end, until it has stomped me into a bloody pulp on the road. Then I have to start from zero and pull myself up.
My head screams today--I NEED TO STOP TAKING MY MEDS. IT IS THE ONLY WAY! YOU WUSS. YOU LIAR YOU FAKER BUCKUP!!!!!

Hi Berries,

I wonder the same thing myself many times. Do I need meds at all? Was I better off without them? If you go far enough back in time, you can find an era where you had less symptoms. That doesn't mean that today's symptoms are caused by the medications you're on. It only means that this disease progresses with time. The episodes and in some cases, visual and auditory hallucinations, get worse and worse and come more and more frequently. There is a reason that at some point you sought help...because you couldn't bear things the way they were at the moment! You felt out of control, depressed, couldn't sleep, etc., at least that was why I sought treatment.

If the voices sound like you, it's one thing, but if they sound like someone else, your meds need adjusting. Seroquel was not a panacea for me. Perhaps you need something added to it.

Also, you need to ask yourself why you think you're not worthy of treatment? Who told you that you weren't worth helping? I don't mean to play psychologist, but consider that the voices might not be you, but some event from your past trying to affect your happiness in the present.

You are worthy of love and self care. I hope you believe this or will learn to trust that it's true.

boy do i know that feeling! Cos i wonder all the time when i feel ok whether i actually need the meds. cos i feel good, i can do everything i want to do or need to do and i dont need my meds.

vicious circle