[amaviena]

Where to start....I have an important announcement: I start online college as of 10-26-09. I know its just online colllege, but I'm very proud I even found the motivation. I found a great boyfriend then immediately broke up with him when I found out he was a regustered sex offender and why, He only had to tell me because his PO showed up. Jackass. I've lost 30 lbs since I got out of the hospital. Its coming off slow, but its coming off. I think I'm going to ask my doctor to take me off of Geodon, which makes me so lethargic I can barely live, and put me on Risperdone. Any thoughts? I just need to go back to work sometime soon.
I slept 5 houts of sleep last night, half of which uinterrupted with no drugs, ad I'm proud. This is a breakthrough!
I've been walking on the treadmill in the morning, My disability still had not come through anf pretty doon snd I'm going to cry a lot and it'll make no difference. Oh well, maybe nexy pay period. I can only hope.
I've been writing a lot of poetry. One I already sent off,

PAPER
It started yesterday.
Pages, Ink-startled with life

meticulously scribed.

A rendezvous--
incomplete.
Days past now stagnant
and laced into dusty deja vu.

Yet,
there is a lull;

the sun creeps over the horizon,
then sinks.

Blood runs thick and stale--

I roll over into and out of my breath.
The earth dies in patterns under my body.

*********************************************
Please critique and edit. Thank you, We're always in a state if motion, us writers,

Thanks for listening.

[thinker22]

That's great about college. I start late this month. Still trying to finish my never ending bachelor's. Any night w/out sleep aids where you sleep is definitely awesome. I haven't been able to try I don't do very well even with them and I'm so tired!!.

I've been walking in the AM too. Going to go in half an hour. It's so cold outside! We have a cold front moving in. Supposed to snow in the surrounding mountains and rain here on Sunday.

Sorry about your disability. Is it just late or did they deny you or are they making a decision? Mine is in the decision process. They have 60 days. With all my providers I don't know how they possibly could get it done in time.

Sucks about your new ex boyfriend. I wonder if he was 18 and she was 17. You know even that's considered a crime here! Weird, but true. In the UK, 16 is the age of consent. So two 16 year olds would not be criminalized there. Nor would a 17/16 or 18/16, etc. I was so not interested in sex before my 20s. Haha...guys just annoyed me before then. But still, he should have told you instead of making you guess or be surprised by the PO. But who knows why he's an offender and since he lied, does it matter?

I went off Seroquel for the lethargy. Now I'm on Abilify. Not sure. I guess ask your p-doc about wanting to go back to work and see if he/she will do a meds change.

Your poetry is fabulous. So intuitive. That's how mine is too.

I won't start typing here, but it does inspire me to write my own...again. Been so long since I tried because it was depressing poetry every time for a couple of years. I like your last line the best. Patterns. The earth really is just a series of patterns from the sky.

[amaviena]

Its just late. EVeryone is saying they need more info. Maybe I;ll try abilify again.

[thinker22]

Why, what happened with Abilify before?

I'm manic as hell. Seriously rated a 76 today. I've never gone above the 60s before.

Hope your disability comes soon.

[amaviena]

me too. my bills will be late.

[thinker22]

I've been spending too much. Don't want to see the bill.

[amaviena]

Danger!!! ....

[thinker22]

I know. I'm less manic today, but still not normal yet. Short attention span sucks! But I only spent too much for a few days. Hopefully I'm done.

[amaviena]

cut your cards and order new ones if you have to