[thinker22]

I've had this fear of sleep thing off and on since December. Mainly it's triggered by traumatic stuff, so perhaps it's my PTSD kicking in. Current week long or more fear is that I will die if I fall asleep. I'm not taking the full amount of sleeping aid I'm supposed to because of it. I'm manic and of course I probably need the higher dose to sleep and NEED sleep, but I'm too afraid to take the right dose. I get paranoid when I can't sleep so it's circular in nature.

[BNLsMOM]

That sounds awful. Can you talk to your T or p-doc about it? My husband went through a similar thing earlier this year and it had a lot to do with not wanting to wake up and go through another day with me in the mixed state I was in. I was pretty mean. We talked about it and it suddenly disappeared. I know you situation is different, but I just wanted to share that you aren't alone.

[thinker22]

Nice editing note reason

I did tell both my T & my P doc. Neither one said anything about it or how to combat it.

[VickiesPath]

Originally Posted by thinker22

I've had this fear of sleep thing off and on since December. Mainly it's triggered by traumatic stuff, so perhaps it's my PTSD kicking in. Current week long or more fear is that I will die if I fall asleep. I'm not taking the full amount of sleeping aid I'm supposed to because of it. I'm manic and of course I probably need the higher dose to sleep and NEED sleep, but I'm too afraid to take the right dose. I get paranoid when I can't sleep so it's circular in nature.

It's so funny that I suddenly realized as I was reading your post that I have experienced this before, too and it was during PTSD. I wasn't wanting to go to sleep, either. I knew I needed to but didn't want to. I wasn't particularly paranoid but just didn't want to go to sleep. Maybe it's not so much paranoia but the hypervigilance. Or maybe what I am calling hypervigilance is what you call paranoia? It's a weird thing. The last time I had it was after falling down my stairs and breaking my femur into 4 pieces. I had it for about 6 months until I felt safe in the house again. It's been almost 13 months now since the accident and I still get jumpy sometimes when alone in the house. I never go to the basement or walk outside without my cell phone, even when hubby is home. Mostly because he is virtually deaf without his hearing aids and wouldn't be able to hear me calling if I needed him. Geez, I feel like an 80 year old geezer who needs one of those buttons! I keep falling down stuff. We have stairs everywhere. You can't get into our house without climbing stairs. And I"ve managed to fall down all of them.

Anyway, back to your issue, yes, I've experienced it too. I had to force myself to take the meds and just do what I knew I had to do and let them knock me out.

[BNLsMOM]

That's strange. I would think that they would both be concerned. I hope someone else here has some helpful advice.

[thinker22]

Maybe I just slipped it in along with the invasive images and they didn't really notice or think it was a big deal the way I said it. I never know with docs what I'm supposed to emphasize and not.

[rcsweep]

Originally Posted by thinker22

I've had this fear of sleep thing off and on since December. Mainly it's triggered by traumatic stuff, so perhaps it's my PTSD kicking in. Current week long or more fear is that I will die if I fall asleep. I'm not taking the full amount of sleeping aid I'm supposed to because of it. I'm manic and of course I probably need the higher dose to sleep and NEED sleep, but I'm too afraid to take the right dose. I get paranoid when I can't sleep so it's circular in nature.

i'm with u on the paranoia coming with lack of sleep. sleep can't come soon enough sometimes and doesn't last long enough. it is sometimes my only relief. sorry to hear your fear of sleep, but you know if you overcome it some of the problems will subside.
unfortunately docs don't listen all the time, if it wasn't important i wouldn't have said it. sometimes i'm not looking for a solution so much as just an acknowledgment of the problem, is that to much to ask for? after a while your not sure what to tell him. but the show must go on.

[thinker22]

Yeah, I'll try to be more emphatic about the things that are bothering me a lot. Maybe I'll bring a sign like at a football game: "CANT SLEEP, PARANOID WILL DIE, HELP PLEASE." hahaha

I did get 6.75 hours last night, and still on half the dose of the sleep aid! Yay! I think I figured out the trick. I take all my meds earlier so I can get to sleep by 11pm. I feel more energetic and strong again.

Thanks everyone for your support. I'm still a bit paranoid, but I don't like too much meds. I always wake up with sore joints (they bend backwards because I'm double jointed) or else a stiff neck if I don't toss and turn a little at night. Don't want to sleep like a rock, ya know.

[Moose72]

I do sometimes if my dreams have been scary. This happens especially if I take trazadone. But its happened even if not lately. Who wants to go live some scary stuff? Very rarely, I'll realize its a dream and then not worry too much, but other times I realize its a dream and still freak out.

[Trying & Caring]

I HATE sleeping. I don't have any dreams that I can remember, but I did go into a long-term hypo mania from sleeping but 3 hrs. a night for about 5 mos.--but I felt GREAT--didn't report it to doc. But at the time I was taking Trazodone, Klonopin, Abilify & Lamictal--all things that should be helping me sleep, but didn't.

Then after 5 mos. of hypo mania--you guessed it--sudden & severe crash & overdose on meds--ER, all that fun stuff...

Now meds provider has made me promise to call her if I go 3 nights w/out 6 hrs. of sleep--only about 3 last night.

EMDR treatment is helping--but not "curing" yet.

[thinker22]

I was on Trazadone once. It made me feint and I hit my head a couple of times in the same night. Oh, I'm typically under 6 hrs for the past 6 weeks. I've had a few days of 7 or 6-7, but it's pretty bad. I got 5 last night, so that's not 3, yay!

Moose: Was having a scary dream last night and my partner woke me up putting his foot or leg on mine. It made me gasp and sit up. Not much sleep could be had after that. Why do my worst nightmares always involve giant insects?

I've been feeling great too. But I don't want to crash. I worry sometimes about that, but the mood is too high to care mostly. Still having invasive death thoughts.

I wish my meds person gave me some guidelines too about what is an emergency. I don't know what to do and usu can't reach her because she's not in. My meds are: Wellbutrin SR in am, 300mg Lamictal am/pm, .5mg Risperidone (titrating up), 5mg Abilify (tapering down), and 30mg Temazepam for sleep...although she prescribed that I take 60mg. I just don't want to sleep like a rock for muchos hours.

I've heard of EMDR. What is it/does it do again?