[larakeziah]

Hi, i'm in need of a bit of insight. I found this site jus over a week ago wen i did a test for Bipolar. I've suffered with depression for over 10yrs but recently an wen i look back over the yrs there have been incidents which i think may have been manic episodes. The test i did for Bipolar said that i scored hi for it. So i took it to my doctor an she sent me for a psych assessment but they were more concerned with my depression. I wasn't totally honest wi them about my highs, not purposely because i was a bit overwhelmed at being there on my own. I didn't tell them that wen i'm on a 'high' i find it increasingly difficult to concentrate an think straight. I don't sleep or eat an i jump from one topic to another rapidly an can come across as rude but i'm not. I Spend most of my money on things i don't need mainly alcohol an cocain. I'm ashamed to say that wen i'm in this state i have slept with many lads some who i didn't even no at all not even their name. This is unusual behaviour for me cos i'm really shy an can't bear ppl touchin me! I don't remember much of what happened with these lads cos i sort of switch off. Also a few months ago i jump out of a movin taxi an was nearly killed. This was during one of my 'highs' i've only recently admitted to myself it was a suicide attempt. Also a few yrs ago coming to the end of a 'high' i held a knife to my brothers throat an threatend to kill him! Cos he'd done something accidently but i lost it completely an i don't really remember much bout what happened only i didn't harm him jus really scared him which i'm deeply sorry for! An will never forgive myself for!
I don't really no what all this means or if i do have Bipolar all i no is there is something not right with me! Ppl often refer to me as jekyl an hyde :-( Pls help. Any insight would be great!

[BNLsMOM]

No one here can diagnose because we aren't doctors, but you did the right thing in giving your test results to your doctor.

Will you be seeing a psychiatrist regularly?

If you are feeling suicidal, or even if you are not, but you feel you might be a danger to yourself, you can always go to an emergency department of a hospital.

Anyway, Welcome to the board. You will receive support here.

[larakeziah]

Thank you. I'm waitin to see a psychologist for cbt an i'm in regular contact with the counsellors from the crisis response team at the hospital. They are coming to my home on monday to see how i am and i've been put on prozac.
Thanks again for your reply

[Zen888]

Originally Posted by larakeziah

Hi, i'm in need of a bit of insight. I found this site jus over a week ago wen i did a test for Bipolar. I've suffered with depression for over 10yrs but recently an wen i look back over the yrs there have been incidents which i think may have been manic episodes. The test i did for Bipolar said that i scored hi for it. So i took it to my doctor an she sent me for a psych assessment but they were more concerned with my depression. I wasn't totally honest wi them about my highs, not purposely because i was a bit overwhelmed at being there on my own. I didn't tell them that wen i'm on a 'high' i find it increasingly difficult to concentrate an think straight. I don't sleep or eat an i jump from one topic to another rapidly an can come across as rude but i'm not. I Spend most of my money on things i don't need mainly alcohol an cocain. I'm ashamed to say that wen i'm in this state i have slept with many lads some who i didn't even no at all not even their name. This is unusual behaviour for me cos i'm really shy an can't bear ppl touchin me! I don't remember much of what happened with these lads cos i sort of switch off. Also a few months ago i jump out of a movin taxi an was nearly killed. This was during one of my 'highs' i've only recently admitted to myself it was a suicide attempt. Also a few yrs ago coming to the end of a 'high' i held a knife to my brothers throat an threatend to kill him! Cos he'd done something accidently but i lost it completely an i don't really remember much bout what happened only i didn't harm him jus really scared him which i'm deeply sorry for! An will never forgive myself for!
I don't really no what all this means or if i do have Bipolar all i no is there is something not right with me! Ppl often refer to me as jekyl an hyde :-( Pls help. Any insight would be great!

Hello larakeziah

I don't want to tell you what you can and cannot do with your body but you cannot get proper mental health services and stablize if you are actively using drugs and alcohol. Research online or in the telephone book some addiction therapy centres/rehab to first deal with your addiction to alcohol and drugs. Once you are not consuming drugs and alcohol the doctors well be better able to assess what your mental illness may or may not be. While you are taking drugs and alcohol your symptoms may be over lapped with addiction symptoms and mental illness symptoms.

Some of your symptoms you have describe do sound like manic episodes. I suggest you research on PC more about what exactly the symptoms of bipolar disorder are or look online.

Take Care,

Zen888

[larakeziah]

Thank you for takin the time to respond. I try not to drink much anymore an haven't touched cocaine for about 2 months. my last 'high' was a couple of weeks ago an what really concerned me was the overwhelming urge i had to kill myself even tho i was overly elated an full of life! I get so confused an am now strugglin to cope with all the emotions an the highs an lows i'm experiencing! :-( i don't know if i'm coming or going half the time!

[Zen888]

Zeldox is traditionally used for schizophrenia but also can be used for mixed mania. I have been taking it for almost 3 years and have had no manic episodes or suicide attempts. Some ppl on PC report that it didn't work well in their bodies. But for me it works well. See what your doctors think about this medication?

[larakeziah]

Originally Posted by Zen888

Zeldox is traditionally used for schizophrenia but also can be used for mixed mania. I have been taking it for almost 3 years and have had no manic episodes or suicide attempts. Some ppl on PC report that it didn't work well in their bodies. But for me it works well. See what your doctors think about this medication?

Thank you! I'll speak to my doctor next time I see him

[phoenix47baby]

Hi Larakeziah!

Boy, it sure sounds like you have been busy with all of these different feelings and behaviors. It sounds like you are having mixed episodes which is what I have. I can feel great and real down at the same time and then flip flop right out of it. Sometimes antidepressants can push one into a mania which has happened with me several times so my doc has to watch me with the amount of antidepressant. What you are experiencing is not abnormal, but indeed very scary and something you want to take care of. Can you write down all of these things on a notepad and bring it into your doctor to share this with him/her? I think it would be a good idea. I care about you and want to see you feeling stable!

Susan

[larakeziah]

Thank you susan, i shall try writing the stuff down may be then my doctor will see cos at the min they only concerned with my depression but i'm sick of feelin like a yo yo! And am concerned bout havin another 'manic' episode cos they have gotten worse over the yrs!
Thank you again for concern an your time to respond! Lara

[Berries]

I just wanted to reiterate what Phoenix said about antidepressants. There is a certain type called SSRIs that can trigger mania. Prozac is an SSRI.

Are you seeing a psychiatrist for your meds or a general physician? If you aren't seeing a psychiatrist for your psych meds, i would definitely find one. Psych meds are complicated and a psychiatrist is trained specifically for them.

Best wishes in your recovery!!!

[larakeziah]

Thanks for ya post berries. I was prescribed prozac by a psychiatrist last week an i'm in constant contact wi the counsellor who works wi the psychiatrist an he's visitin me 2moro. An i'm waitin to see a psychologist for cbt. Jus wish it wouldn't take so long! Thanks again! :-)

[Berries]

Be sure and let your counselor tomorrow about your manic episodes.

Best wishes for tomorrow.

[larakeziah]

Originally Posted by Berries

Be sure and let your counselor tomorrow about your manic episodes.

Best wishes for tomorrow.

thank you berries!!!!