[perpetuallysad]

grandiosity and just knowing I am right about something?

I get really caught up in things I see as an injustice and feel like I can see clearly a way to change things. For instance, my school district (my son's in 3rd grade) is doing horribly as far as academically and the state is continuously cutting the budget. I think the superintendent is an idiot and sincerely is not doing things in the best interest of the students. Same thing with the school board, its like they are all just proud of themselves for being in a position of power, its like a social thing or something. Anyway, we are having some very specific problems and I honestly feel like I know the solution to a few of the things that are wrong. The problem is that I get really, really emotionally involved when I think like this and even if I am 100% correct, I'm pretty sure I come off looking like a lunatic, not to mention I piss people off because I point out where they are wrong. Mostly knowing my own personality and behaviors, I try to stay out of it all and just let things go. I hate having to let it go though because my son is directly affected by what's going on. So, how do I know if this is just me thinking I know everything and me really knowing a solution to this?

Does that make any sense? I didn't want to bore you all to death with the details of the problems...anyhow, when I get like this I get all hyper and talk fast and cannot slow down (which is where i think I tend to lose credibility).

Combined with talking fast, hyperactivity, impatience with others, this could be a bit grandiose. If you truly feel you have some concrete, viable solutions, write them up. Meet with the principal or whomever the situation applies to. DON'T get angry with them (no matter how much you want to); that will turn them off. Rather than telling them where they are wrong, show them what can be done. Make it a positive interaction.

Not knowing the details of the situation, that's about as helpful as I can be. Understand that many times the general public does not know all the details as to why things have to be done a certain way. LISTEN to their explanations. Public education is very bogged down in law and regulations (I know; I'm a teacher.) If that is the situation, there may not be much they can do. If that is not the situation, you MUST DIALOGUE with them in order to affect change. Coming in with your guns blazing will just be shooting yourself in the foot.

[perpetuallysad]

I'm not extremely aggressive, so I wouldn't do this in an in your face manner, but I do get really fast when I talk and get really existential and have a hard time really staying focused on exactly what my point was in the first place.

I taught here at the public schools until a year and a half ago, so I understand the inner machinations of it all (or at least I do as much as a non-administrator can). I specifically know from my own personal experience and that of all of the teachers I worked with that the reading program that is used doesn't work. Its a long explanation, but it is seriously a flawed program, but the school district pays A LOT of money for the "rights" to use this program each year. 2 years ago (the year I quit) the district resigned a new 7 year contract with this program that costs several hundred thousand dollars a year to use. I was never really able to figure out what the reasoning was being staying with the program, other than the fact that a lot of money was invested in it. At least 90% of the teachers at the elementary school know it is failing the students, but they are quite literally forced to use it and are not allowed to try any other methods. This is one of the main reasons I had to quit, I couldn't do what I felt was wrong anymore.

Ug, anyway, as you can see I get all idiotic about this stuff.

I guess this was a specific example but also a general question. How can I get myself to calm down? How can I figure out what matters and what doesn't? Why don't other people get upset about these things? I mean its not like I get mad about the color of my neighbor's trash can, I get upset about things that really effect people - like the school example. Oh I get so spastic I already feel stupid for even bringing this up in the first place.

It does sound like it was a monetary decision. If you really think you have a way to perhaps augment the current materials, get in touch with the administrator who is over the elementary curriculum. That's who can get the ball rolling. Write up your ideas. Come up with a really concrete, workable solution. Then present it. All you can do is try. I don't think you are being spastic about the issue at all. It sounds like something that the district needs to really look at. Other people don't get upset about it because they either really don't know enough to realize there is a problem, or they are employees (and you know how that goes.)

[BNLsMOM]

My T and I are working on writing down ideas when I get excited and letting them sit for a week to see if they still make sense. Maybe that would work for you? I have a hard time seeing the difference between a good idea and grandiosity as well.

[perpetuallysad]

Thanks ladies, I appreciate your responses. I really wish I had a better perspective sometimes. My husband is the kindest guy and would never just say "alrighty sweetheart, that's a little off the wall"...and I really don't have any friends, so this is the only place I have to bounce my ideas off of.

[Fire_Star]

I think I get myself into the same boat. I can't tell if I'm grandiose or just standing my ground. I'm involved in a lot of community groups as a volunteer and when I see anything being done "wrong" - whether it the way an event is run or how fast/slow they do it - I always have something to say, especially if I'm not one of the 'leaders' of the project.

It's probably way I do end up being one of the organisers/leaders/bosses of a lot of things I'm involved with. I just too obsessed with the finer details and things being prefect so maybe that gives off the illusion that I know what I'm doing to the group so I do gain enough trust for them to allow me to behave this way. In some cases, I might have the knowledge but I can think of times that I was just being way too over confident so maybe I was manic then? I don't know. So far it hasn't really cost me anything negative to come back at me or those involved; hopefully it stays that way.

My boyfriend just (I think), identifies the behaviour as me having to rant about whatever it is I care about at the time and just lets me run the course without interrupting it. I guess he knows he'd would have a hard time responding to everything I'd say as I tend to have a comeback for everything once I've started a rant. :-P

So I really connect with you when you say, "Why don't other people get upset about these things? I mean its not like I get mad about the color of my neighbor's trash can, I get upset about things that really effect people.." because that's exactly how I feel and for me, it just sends me into an overdrive to get things 'fixed'.

[dj586858]

Writing your solutions out is what I was thinking too and I would even present it that way instead of trying to talk with others in person. That way they won't know about the fast-talking, emotional side to you. They can just see the logic in your ideas. I would have someone else read it first though just to make sure it has a clear, concise message. If you don't have an honest friend for that, would your husband be able to help edit you and make suggestions if you explained your concerns about your approach? Believe me, I can be quite the rambler sometimes, unable to stop even though I can see how "weird" it makes me look. I choose to think I am being charming, kind of funny and child-like. Okay, maybe that doesn't work all that well. Anyway, try the writing thing and let us know how that works for you. You will feel much better about things than if you don't do anything. Good luck!