[gravyyy]

I saw the new psychiatrist here in Ohio today. She was recommended to me by my family doc who is a really close friend of mine. She was fine at first...actually listened... but then accused me of lying and said I will only ever be able to get help in a community health clinic for people with low income because I don't have a job (just moved to Ohio 3 weeks ago. I'm a nurse... I'll find a job). She says I lied because when I called to make the appt the receptionist asked if I had "self destructive behaviors" and I said "not really." Today the shrink asked about the second time I was in the hospital and I told her I had self-harm urges and she asked if I ever acted out on those. I told her I had 2 isolated times in the spring of this year ANd she like flipped out in a demeaning way... said "well you lied on intake and that's not a really poor way to start any relationship with a new psychiatrist. If you lied about that then you probably lied about everything you have said here today. You probably do drugs and drink too (I had already said I didn't)." I tried to tell her that when the receptionist asked me I was at work and wasn't able to tell the full truth at that time. I told her that I said "not really" because they were 2 isolated incidents and not a huge part of my problem. It's not habitual. I told her that I don't lie ANd that I'm not not the type to be going and getting help from a doctor and then not telling them the truth. She said besides the lying I did, my problems are "too big" for her. She said I need a whole team of people in the same office and I really needed to be in therapy because I need a lot of help. I was like, "okay, well thanks for your opinion but I'm not going to a community free clinic (not that there's anything wrong with that, but not the setting I prefer since I have health insurance)for treatment, I'm not a liar, and if you can't handle my issues then I appreciate you being up front about that and I will seek care elsewhere." Then I left....

Ugh... How utterly ticked off am I right now???? I HATE her. What a *****. The worst part is that the waiting list for another shrink is about 2 months away. I have an appt with a therapist on Monday with a different company but that doesn't help when my Lithium levels are screwed up and my thyroid is shutting down from it!!! UGHHH!!!!!!! I'm really upset by this... I just needed someone to vent to since I can't say any of this to the people here. Thanks for "listening!!!!"

How's she going to tell me that I'm a liar?? She of all people should know the sensitive nature of the questions you're asked in a psychiatriats or therapists office. It's not like I was talking to her on the phone for the intake, it was the receptionist. And with my work schedule at the time (8-5) I couldn't call in any more private of a setting. This pdoc is only open 9-4:30. I just feel awful... in Philly my problems "weren't too severe" according to my treatment team. Now suddenly a woman who has sat and talked to me for 45 minutes is going to tell me I need a "whole team of people????????" F- off lady....................

[Junerain]

I hear you. When I talk to a new Pdoc or therapist about how great I am doing, they try to attack my character, saying they heard I needed case management, they heard I was schizoaffective, anything to bring me down. Well I am actually doing a million times better than i could ever have possibly dreamed..

I would be mad, too....you did not even lie, you said, "Not really.." which is not a lie.

A supportive Pdoc is out there, I feel, call me an optimist, but I have seen some good ones in my time, and I feel your time is coming..

Out of all the Pdoc's in the local phonebook, there must be one with less of a wait...sure, you may not have heard much about them from the phonebook, but you can call and ask what kind of therapy they engage in, what approach they take, you can get a feel from the phone call if you want to set up an appointment....I could be wrong here, but..here's to hoping you get in sooner..

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, i wish you the best of luck there in Ohio

[Berries]

I agree. What a *****! There are some real quacks out there. But there are good pdocs too. I hope you find one. Can you go to an urgent care or ER in the mean time and get your lithium levels worked out?

[gravyyy]

Hey Junerain and Berries... thanks... I appreciate the support. After I posted that I went out to the store just to be out and among people to cool off. It didn't work... I've been stewing and it's frustrating. I don't want to be called a liar to my face. I really try hard in the therapeutic relationship to tell the truth. You all know how uncomfortable it can be at times, some of the questions are really, really personal. I don't need to tell you that. I kinda wanted to say to her, "you think every one of your patients is telling you the truth 100% of the time? You'r an butt head if you think that." I mean sometimes it's just not possible to tell the complete truth. I mean it's over now.. I can only move on from here, but it's frustrating to be 99% compliant since diagnosis, tell the full truth 85% of the time, and then get crapped on by her. She belittled me and I feel worthless and useless and downright sad. I never thought I could feel so poor from a situation but this just sucks. Thanks again for your support and suggestions.... Junerain, I have some people at a doctor's office where I used to work on the phone and calling to try to get me in sooner. Otherwise I'm going to let my family doctor manage the meds at this point. Ugh......

[VickiesPath]

We should introduce her to the pdoc who laughed hysterically at me when I told him I had PTSD from being beat by my mother. They should go into practice together.

[Junerain]

Always remember you have worth, you matter, as my friend muffy would say..

It's really true!

[spiritual_emergency]

gravyyy: my problems are "too big" for her ... She of all people should know the sensitive nature of the questions you're asked in a psychiatriats or therapists office. It's not like I was talking to her on the phone for the intake, it was the receptionist.

Okay, I do try to be open to understanding what other people are going through. The doc is probably stressed, maybe overburdened, but if that's the case, she should go get herself a pdoc and unburden herself there -- not take it out on clients/patients. Her expectations and behaviors strike me as unprofessional, unethical and the whole bit about the receptionist asking you personal questions??? Unless you willingly volunteer as much, I would think those questions and answers should only be shared between you and your chosen caregiver in the container of the therapeutic relationship, after trust and intimacy has been established, not 40 minutes after you've first met.

Ugh. Finding the right doc is like going on a blind date. This date rates big in the turn-off department.

Best of luck with finding a more compatible professional relationship.

[gravyyy]

Spiritual emergency: and the whole bit about the receptionist asking you personal questions??? Unless you willingly volunteer as much, I would think those questions and answers should only be shared between you and your chosen caregiver in the container of the therapeutic relationship, after trust and intimacy has been established, not 40 minutes after you've first met

Yeah Spiritual... I was thinking that too. When I first called almost 2 months ago the receptionist said the doctor is taking new patients on a "case-by-case" basis. I should have known. My alarm bells were going off at that time but she was recommended to me, it's not like I randomly chose her from a list. Then when the receptionist was questioning me it was like "do you use drugs, do you drink, do you abuse prescription meds, have you ever attempted suicide, have you thought about suicide, do you have any self-destructive behavior..." I was uncomfortable telling her but I responded honestly that I have not attempted suicide but I have had ideations in the past. But those were yes/no questions that didn't need much explanation. When she asked about SI, I had to say "not really" because it's not a central issue at all for me. Something so minor and this pdoc rips my freakin life apart. I know she didn't say it but it sounded like she was trying to say "you're a real screw up and you're way to crazy for me to try to fix. You're unfixable and need to have a whole team of people (like the kind in state institutions) to try to make sense of anything in your head." I know it's unreasonable but i'm really upset. It's already 1:30am. I'm not sleeping tonight. Ugh...

To make matters worse, I managed to get a hold of a T I am seeing on Monday but I heard from a friend of mine who has interactions with her on a collegial basis that she's mean and he thinks we're going to have a personality conflict so this could be a part 2 on Monday.... I HATE THIS!!!!! SCREW IT ALL..........

[1963.Susan]

(((((((((((((((((gravyyy))))))))))))))))))
you have every right to be angry, & nervous about a part 2 on monday. everybody else has said such calming, soothing, helpful things that i don't really have anything else to share, but i wanted you to know i'm thinking of you & hope everything works out. hang in there

[perpetuallysad]

Man gravyyy, that's a bunch of crap! I'm so sorry you've had to deal with such idiots. First of all, the woman just doesn't seem like the kind of doctor you (or anyone) need. But be glad of one small thing, at least this came out now instead of months after you started seeing her. I wish you lived here, my pdoc is a great guy and if nothing else, I know he'd help even out your lithium levels. Maybe a gp can test you on the lithium side and at least get that straight until you can find a normal pdoc? Ugh, I'm pissed at the lady and it didn't even happen to me.

[spiritual_emergency]

Some links that might be helpful for you or others:

Top 10 Articles: Tips to find a Psychiatrist

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Incidentally, it's my understanding that very few psychiatrists offer true talk therapy these days, more often, they address the issue of medication only. My child currently goes to a clinic that has several staff who provide talk therapy (psychologists or social workers) in addition to a few psychiatrists. They talk with their therapist on a regular basis but only see their psychiatrist if something needs to change in regard to their meds. It is an arrangement that is working well for them.

If you are hoping to find a psychiatrist for the purpose of talk therapy, you may be better off pursuing a professional relationship with a therapist of some type who is connected to a psychiatrist. Regretably, just as with psychiatrists, there are good therapists and not-so-good therapists. Regardless of the profession, most people seem to agree that "fit" is one of the most critical aspects of a caregiver relationship because you're not going to forge a bond of trust with someone you don't feel comfortable with. Presumably, the psychiatrist you spoke with previously missed that class.

Best of luck.

[Navygrrl]

Wow, if that had happened to me, I would have been so angry I would have cried, and then made sure I'd never see her again. I think being called a liar is one of the worst things ever, especially if I didn't lie in that instance. I hope your family doc can do something to regulate your meds.

[NuckingFutz]

You walk into get some help and were verbally abused. I would file a formal complaint on her...a bad therapist can do a lot of damage in a short amount of time. Hang in there!

How awful for you! Keep searching for a better pdoc. There IS one out there; it just may take some time to find. In the meantime, I hope your PCP can help you with the meds.

[gravyyy]

Thank you everyone for your support, encouragement, and suggestions. I won't file a complaint against the pdoc b/c I mean she does screen patients and I didn't tell the full truth so I can't blame her for that. That doesn't, however, give her the right to call me a liar and belittle me even after I offered the explanation why I wasn't able to tell the full truth. I guess at this point I've moved from pure hatred and anger to hurt and sad. I feel used, chewed up and spit out. I feel useless, worthless. Of course it's situational because I don't typically feel like that day to day but this is going to take some time to get over. There's no doubt about that. I didn't know someones words could hurt so much, but I was so totally honest with everything I said in the appointment yesterday that I feel like I left myself vulnerable and she trampled on me. Thats just not right and that's where the hurt, shame, and sadness are coming from today. I just hope I sleep tonight... I'm so tired I feel like I could pass out now for 3 years but that's not going to help my mood either. Thanks again everyone for your help and support. I truly appreciate it.

[leah0306]

wow, thats horrible, and these are the people who we depend on to provide CARE. I too at one time was doing really bad, severly manic, and called my family dr. whos known for 8 years i have bp,anxiety that he treats me for, and the receptionist told me"the dr. doesnt treat bipolars" i was like WHAT!! just really obnoxious, i hope you do recieve the care you expect and deserve, and screw them for being JUDGEMENTAL, thats not their JOB!!

[spiritual_emergency]

gravyyy: I won't file a complaint against the pdoc b/c I mean she does screen patients and I didn't tell the full truth so I can't blame her for that.

Here's what I (personally) find offensive about the way the situation was handled. If the receptionist had said to you when you called, "The doctor does not work with patients that have experience with..." that would have allowed you to say, "Thank you very much, perhaps this doctor is not the one for me then." You could have spared yourself the entire ugly ordeal.

Instead however, you were asked to make yourself vulnerable by sharing private and personally revealing information with a staff member in a manner that made you feel exposed and uncomfortable; you were then penalized for not doing so in the exact manner the doctor had demanded. There was absolutely no regard for who you were or how you felt about the situation and there was a lack of respect for your basic privacy.

Sometimes it's not worth filing a complaint because the other party just isn't going to get it. However, there is a place on the net called doctorscorecard.com where you can make an anonymous consumer report of your experience with both good and bad doctors. If you wanted to, you could make use of that site for sharing your recent experience and doing some research on psychiatrists in your area. You may very well find an excellent psychiatrist to work with as a result and thereby spare yourself another distressing visit like the one you had; you might even spare someone else the discomfort of repeating your experience with that particular doc.

[lonegael]

((((Gravy))))))) I hope you get back t your family doctor about this woman. He shouldn't get stuck by referring to her in good faith to have her muck things up. Yes, it sounds like she has run into something that she can't cope with, maybe you, but probably not. Good for you for walking out.! Keep taking care of yourself, dear. I'm pulling for you!