[NuckingFutz]

I am having a very deep depression. Not in danger but I am so scared. Finally got fed up and made it out of bed. Planning on take a hot bath and wash my hair but even that seems a monumental task. I feel invisible because I avoided people. This feeling is like lonely journey. Afraid of everything. I am on my meds. Feel like I am suspended in time. I am not sure what it is I am asking for but if you care to post back. Oh I also feel hopeless.

[spiritual_emergency]

What I recall being most difficult about depression was the quality of "timelessness" that came in with it. It could be that you've been in that space for three weeks, three hours or three days but no matter how long it's been, it can feel as if you've been there and will be there...

~ forever ~

I would recommend to those who are undergoing severe depression to keep an eye to a literal calendar. Whatever you are going through has probably not been going on as long as it *feels* like. Also, whatever is going on... it will pass. Your task is to hang in there until it does.

[lonegael]

Hi, nucking futz, I'm here. I know that the anxiety is hard to shake but try taking a look at each individual thing that fazes you and ask yourself why. Go through and test thereality of the fearand see if it helps. Sometimes it's not the actual reasoning that works, just thte process of stopping and looking at it.
Take it easy, friend. If washing hair is all that's on the ards, tha's OK. good for you for getting out of bed. It's the small small steps that get you out of the darkness. Huggs and very warm wishes for Christmas, even if you feel kind of lousy.

[Gioia]

(((((((((((((nucking futz))))))))))))))

Well done for getting up. You are not invisible or alone here, we are with you and I understand those feelings so well.

One step at a time. Thinking of you and praying you feel better very soon.
xxxxx

[NuckingFutz]

Thank you for your quick responses. They helped a lot just knowing you all responded when it is 3 am here. What also feel better was just that you gave me a pat on the back for completing a task I set for myself and reminding me it is about the babysteps. I am glad you are here. I do not feel alone. I also have not been writing in my journal for the last 2 months...since breaking up with somebody really bad for me. I wonder why it is that we sometimes fall the hardest for the ones that are not right for us. I am sure the depression and the end of that relationship were very closely related. Next task...journaling.

[1963.Susan]

i hope you are getting some sleep now, after being up so late. ((((((((((((NF))))))))))))
take care of yourself & do only what's necessary - taking care of YOU & journaling seem high on that short list.
sorry about your break up.

[BNLsMOM]

Take care of yourself. I am here to listen...

[lonegael]

Sometimes we fall the hardest for the ones we have given the most to and have fought the hardest to keep. Very often these are NOT the ones who give US the most. Keep setting those little, important goals, dear. You can get yourself up and out. Just be patient and gentle to yourself. HUGGGGGS

[Princess Butterfly]

I can and many others can relate so much.
What i find helps for me is writing a plan of what i will do in the day.

just for an example:

1) write a plan
2)get up before 11am
3) wash
4) get dressed

Sometimes just doing the simplist of tasks are whats important and if you just achieve 1 one day aim to do 2tasks the next day.And congratulate yourself on the tasks you have achieved not the ones you havent
i hope this helps



sending safe hugs

Hugs, NuckingFutz!!! Very familiar territory there... I can only really echo what the others have said. Especially that you are definitely not alone and that accomplishing even the smallest tasks helps, because when we are feeling like that, they seem anything but small. And because they *do* feel so monumental, they get extra bonus points, right? _Yes_. Because they count so much in such times. Those little victories add up.
And remember to be gentle with yourself-- we know that that is not easy, but it is important. Keeping you in my thoughts....

[Perna]

If you have been avoiding people; I found it would help me feel better connected to just go out to a public store or library, someplace where you have minimum interaction with another (clerks). Think of some small thing you'd like and decide to go get it. Just doing the shower and getting dressed and going out and getting a book or something to eat or some small craft project or a card to send someone, etc. and getting the task done might make you feel a whole lot better. Movement helps as we see and feel and think other thoughts and they give possibilities for expanding on them and for other desires and ideas to happen.

[phoenix47baby]

Oh I know this all too well and when you are in the midst of it, it is just the pits and an end to the suffering is not in sight. I am sorry. Do you suppose you can phone your doctor and discuss with him. Sending warm thoughts to you!

[NuckingFutz]

I actually made it to the library. Still feel exhausted but I guess the cabin fever one out. Kinda nervous even though I am at PC. My sleep schedule is backwards...I sleep during the day and I am awake all night. I kinda think my brain is trying to get out of this depression. My brain is not fully fuctioning yet. Not eating much but I do feel my appitite coming back. Still haven't written in my journal but I plan on doing that tonight. Anyway, still hanging in there...love to all!

[lonegael]

Tiny steps up, hon, tiny steps up. Don't try to over do it, but good for you for going out! HUGGGGSSSS

[notz]

Hugs for you, NF

[VickiesPath]

Good for you, NF. I've missed you.

[NuckingFutz]

I feel my depression lifting. Kinda like being stuck in this timeless space and an opening starting to apper just barely. I learned the calmer I am, more stuff gets a little better.

[lonegael]

Merry Christmas, friend, if I may say so. Congrats! You have been working hard with this spat of the Ds. Huggs.

[NuckingFutz]

Thanks for the continued support. Kinda hit a plateau...nothing interests me...nothing. Think I will try and sleep some now.

[lonegael]

Night, Nucking futz. Sleep tight. Huggs.