Overwhelmed at work

i have recently demoted myself at work after my last hospitalization. i hadn't been doing a good job for about 6-9 months, and when i came out of the hosp i felt like i just couldn't do it anymore. i was ready to quit, when the secretary suggested she & i switch jobs. boss wasn't entirely happy, but it was better than having me quit impulsively.

now i am in the less-pressure, less-responsibility job at no pay loss (hurrah). unfortunately, my boss is aware of what i CAN do. what she doesn't realize is what i CAN do (& what i was doing) is accomplished with a great deal of effort, stress, & pressure, that i simply can't handle anymore. she has begun adding more & more things to the "secretary's" job, because she knows i can do it. it's getting more pressured, more responsibility, and less attractive.

i can't just walk away (although i'd like to). i live in an extremely rural area where jobs were always hard to find; now with the current economic climate they're impossible to find. my best bet would be walmart or something, & my back & my feet couldn't take that.

the whole situation is making me feel trapped, and for me, trapped makes me feel suicidal.

any thoughts, suggestions, or hugs?

((((((((((((susan))))))))))))))))

Perhaps you could ask to sit down with her and write a job definition together? Alternatively speak to the secretary who you swapped with to see if she has a job definition/terms that you can use to speak to your boss with? This would give you the opportunity to discuss what falls into the new role that you are doing and will make it harder for your boss to give you more than the job officially demands in the future.

I assume that your boss is fully aware of hospitalisation? If so are you able to voice concerns over the increasing level of work? And the stress that it is putting on you? You say that your boss is aware of what you can do, and it sounds therefore that you are valued, so as a responsible employer will want to make sure that you are as healthy and happy at work as possible.

Don't know if this helps at all, but sending you lots of hugs too and hopes for a really positive outcome. Please keep in touch how this goes
x

thats got to be difficult to deal with, sounds like she is refusing to understand that you switched jobs to have less stress, whats she thinking???? sending you hugs and support

yes, i think i'm going to have to say something about the increasing level of work. i do believe i am a valuable employee, which is why she has allowed me to step back instead of stepping out altogether. but it's getting to a point where i feel i can't do this job, either.

i hate to cop out & just say i can't work anymore, but that's what i feel like doing. it's just too much.

has anybody else had to come to the point where they just couldn't handle working full time anymore? i know i've read some posts where people have mentioned that they hadn't been able to work at all for a long time.
thanks

For me, saying I can't work at all anymore would be worse than anything so I have actually just been making job changes as I saw necessary. I was working a very, very busy, high acuity ER and I was hospitalized and when I came back I decided my rotating schedule wasn't working so I spoke with my boss and cut back hours and changed the area where I worked but it still wasn't enough so I had to resign from the ER altogether and started working in an outpatient office. Way different! With that job I was able to again work full time and was doing well at my job. I just moved and actually just agreed to a new job yesterday. It's in home care so again it's lower stress. I have no idea how I'm going to handle it but if it doesn't work out I'll just have to make another adjustment. I feel awful unless I'm working, even if it's not exactly what I want to be doing. If it were me, I would be talking to my boss to see if we could figure out what tasks were tolerable vs not tolerable and if things didn't change I'd look for a new job. I wouldn't be ruling out working all together unless I wasn't able to find anything in any situation that I could tolerate without having to be hospitalized or what-not. I wish you luck in figuring out the situation. Working and having bipolar disorder is really hard almost all the time. Keep us posted with what your boss says if you decide to talk with her.

Good post ^^ !!

I did the same thing recently. I had a very stressful position for several years and it kept becoming more and more difficult to handle. At the nudging of my therapist I started looking for something different and was offered a less-stressful job at the same pay in a different dept. I am really scared about starting over at a place where I have no clue what is going on but I hope I made the right decision for me. If I found myself being given more than I bargained for, I would have a chat with my boss. Maybe she just has more faith in you than you do in yourself (which is the story of my life). Then again maybe your boss is trying to do what is easiest for her. Just be open and honest...but don't necessarily expect her to totally understand the effect the illness has on your life and work. Good luck with your new adventure!

well it seems i'm on my way to inpatient, so i won't be dealing with this issue anytime soon....... at least till i get out again!
:/

Will your job be there when you get out? Or do you know? I wish I could help on this one. I'm lucky. I am a civil service worker and have help when I needed it.

Susan, I can't seem to find where your post from yesterday went, but I just want to let you know I am thinking of you. Let us know how you are doing when you get home from inpatient.

they yanked yesterday's post because it broke the rules on talking about unsafe subjects.
i will post when i get home
(((((((((BNLsMom))))))))))))))

luckily my boss is pretty understanding & the job will be here - as long as i'm not gone ***too*** long - like a month or more. shouldn't be that long, i hope.

Will be thinking of you , susan. I really hope that this will be what you need, and that you will come out in time foor your work. hang in there and HUGGGSSS: We'll be here.

Thinking of you Susan.

I have trouble with working full-time. Eventually I get to the point where it's either go to work or throw myself down the stairs. Usually I end up just not showing up anymore, and while it's an initial relief to have that stress gone, it's very difficult to get a new job when you can't get a recommendation.

Yes, Susan, and I was the last person I thought it would ever happen to. I was always 'superachiever' at school and the one who went into work on weekends. Now if I get 4 hours volunteering in a week I consider that a fine achievement. I spent a long time wondering when I was going to get back to the person I once was (i.e. Humpty Dumpty). I now understand there has been some sort of profound change. It has taken a long time, but I accept it and am better for having done so.
Remember that your health is more important than any job.