[cookiemonster]

Hi everyone. I'm new to this board but I hope talking to you all about some of my problems will help me. I have been unhappy for a couple years and would just cry for no reason until finally I was fed up and decided to see the psychiatrist last winter. This was of course when my husband was over in Iraq. I had just had an indiscretion with someone I thought was exciting. It was mental anguish for me, my first time. He came home and I was still not happy athough my doctor had switched me from 60mg prozac to paxil to lexapro. I had also taken ambien, ativan and klonopin that he RXed. So my sweetie left to go to Korea for a year and all of a sudden I got 6 tattoos, 10 piercings, 15 more indiscretions, bisexual experience, drinking a fifth of alcohol in 2 days- each week, using crystal meth, passing one 3 credit hour class when my schedule had 18 credits, hanging out with a violent person and having unprotected sex in the first 2 months after he left. Too me this isn't a big problem because this is what I want to do. My doctor started me on 80 mg of Geodon. I had nightmares everynight, heart palpitations and a racing heart beat. My doctor will no longer give me klonopin because he doesn't want to "allow" for the crystal use. I have made a consious decision to stop using it. He switched me to 300 mg of lithium twice a day. I hope this helps. I am still having terrible anxiety, I can barely talk to people in stores and look at them in the face or wait in line-yikes. Do you think the indiscretions are because I'm not happy with my life, my husband, I am forced to getting a degree in something I don't want because we are moving in a year and I found my calling too late or that it is the bipolar? Sound off please. Thanks.

[Minnehaha]

You have many classic "manic" symptoms. When we're in our manic phases, it feels like we're doing what we want to do, but the mania is often (usually) followed by a crash into depression. Are you getting therapy besides prescriptions? (Like talk therapy with a psychologist or counselor?) You need to get your mood swings under control and get therapy. There may be a part of you saying to yourself that you don't need that, BUT YOU DO. Take care and PLEASE stop using street drugs and having unprotected sex.

Here is a link to some bipolar info at the National Institute of Mental Health. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bipolar.cfm#bp1

Please take care!

[Minnehaha]

To answer your question directly: Of course, it is possible to be bipolar AND unhappy too, but any way you look at it, you need treatment because your behavior is harmful to yourself and others. Do you see? Even if you were "just" unhappy -- and I don't think that you are "just" unhappy -- your behavior warrants therapy.

[cookiemonster]

No the only person I talk to is the psychiatrist once a month.

[Minnehaha]

And is that just for medication management? (Like a 15-minute appointment.) If so, I suggest you find a psychologist or therapist right away. If you can find someone who specializes in bipolar disorder, so much the better, but if not, don't let that keep you from starting therapy ASAP.

[darkeyes]

Hi there,
I think to confirm this is by being evaluated by a psychiatrist, if it has been, and your meds are still not stabilizing you, the pdoc should be made knowledgble, cause bipolars can have a special "acting" ability when they want their pdoc to think they are okay. My brother who is BP-I, use to do this often. I am bipolar-II (mild) and not really have had what would be a "manic" episode but more on the depressive end.
There is not much more I'd suggest but to talk to your pdoc, you may need an increase in the Lithium. I use to take a total of 900mgs of Lithobid, excellent stuff, but due to being more depressive than manic my doc had me decide to try Lamictal, and it has been very good, addressing the depressive side of BP-II.
If I should ever be where I was (5yrs ago)again then I would consider Lithobid again, was 1 3x a day (300mgs each) and I did fine with it.
I wish you lots of luck in getting some answer(s) and in following through with treatment.
It can be your drug use that is causing bipolar type behaviour too, I forgot to mention that in the begining of my reply, so I'd suggest you see a therapist besides a pdoc., help you get off the drugs, and tame your sexual escapades.
There is just so much we can all use our disorder for excuses, but we need to make the effort and take responsibility too.
Take care,
DE

[darkeyes]

That is so true, what Minnihaha just said. Either way, unhappy or bipolar you need to seek a mental health professional, for treatment. You are not only a danger to yourself but to others also.
Unprotected sex, in today's times with Aids being prevalent, is like playing Russian roulette, and committing homicide once you spread it to others.
Please get help.

[darkeyes]

That is so true, what Minnehaha just said. Either way, unhappy or bipolar you need to seek a mental health professional, for treatment. You are not only a danger to yourself but to others also.
Unprotected sex, in today's times with Aids being prevalent, is like playing Russian roulette, and committing homicide once you spread it to others.
Please get help.

[jennie]

crystal meth probably was the reason for the multiple indiscretions . . . it takes at least a year of being drug free to start feeling normal again . . . addiction is the lure . . . i serious doubt "this is what [you] want to do."