[BNLsMOM]

For three nights in a row, I have been up until 3 or 4 a.m. My family wakes up at 7, so I am not deeply asleep when they get up. I have to get up when my husband leaves for work because it is inhumane for me to force my two year old to sit in a baby exer-saucer so that he is contained while I sleep. (I milked that one for as long as I could because I was having so much trouble getting up in the mornings, but I can't do it to him any more.) Anyway, it seems my Seroquel is not working any more to get me to sleep.

Today I can't think straight. I looked in the microwave for a mug, and in the refrigerator for the coffee I had just made which was sitting in the coffee pot. I was walking around in circles in the kitchen trying to remember what I was doing. When I close my eyes, it seems like strobe lights flash, and I heard a sound that could only be described as a hub cap spinning the way kids spin pennies on a desk.

The good news is I see p-doc today and will let her know what is going on. The bad news is that I can't sleep during the day. I just perk up and can't get settled. Perk up is the wrong word. Wound up is more like it. The last three days have yeilded three to four hours each, and the last week has yeilded no more than six hours. The week before that, I was sleeping all the time. My mood is swinging between depressed and angry. ( See my two most recent threads)I think I am getting a script for Lithium today. P-doc makes it sound like it is my last chance for meds. After that she says handfuls of Omega 3's and management of the symptoms. I disagree. There are tons of meds I haven't tried. I don't want to have to search for a new doc again, so I have to find out why she thinks Lithium is my last chance. (even though secretly, I would love to not take meds)

My symptoms are so out of control.

By the way, the coffee is decaf. I just like the comfort of having a cup of warm coffee.

[perpetuallysad]

I drink regular coffee. I cannot give up caffeine.

I am so sorry you are having such a rough freaking time right now. Too bad you don't lve in MS, I could babysit for you and you could try to relax in a quiet dark room for a while. For some reason, when I am really manic, the only time I seem to be able to sleep is for a few hours during the day, almost because I feel like I'm not supposed to sleep then or something. When I lay down at night is when my thoughts start screaming and then its exceptionally hard to go to sleep. My son gave me a sound machine for Christmas (he's so thoughtful and only 8yrs old!). It has rainforest, rain, waterfall, waves, heartbeat and something else that I cannot remember right now. I have been going to sleep to the rain and it has helped me tremendously. When I am getting sucked away from sleep because of my thoughts, I concentrate on the rain sounds and try to find patterns in the sounds. I cannot tell you how much better I am doing with sleep these last few weeks. Even my husband's chain saw like snoring hasn't kept me awake (which is usually can).

I really hope that your pdoc doesn't look at lithium as the end all be all. There are tons and tons of meds you can try. Hell, I've been going through a med circus for the past 4 years and still haven't found any sort of miracle combination. With the meds I'm on now, I feel like my symptoms are barely contained, mostly just dulled down a little, I still get big highs, big lows and feel like a sack of **** most of the time. Hm, maybe I need to change again? I am tired of it. I bet I've been on 30 different meds in these past 4 years.

Wow, have I said anything helpful or supportive yet?

[leah0306]

so sorry to read your not sleeping, its so VITAL to function properly. have you ever tried trazadone,an older antidepressant , it will usually work for me, cant have the real sleeping pills, pdr. wont presc.them for me, oh well, i hope you will soon get some rest, take care

[star416]

I am on day 2. Not sleeping at all. I have been on the internet trying to find help. Whatever it is that's on your mind has a lot to do with it. For me it's stress. Like me, just try to take care of yourself, and I do know it's hard sometimes.

[jamesmb]

I've had the same exact thing. For the past 3 nights, no less. I currently am NOT on a sleep aid. My ex recommended Benadryl, which I took to humor her. ("That's what they give mental people in the psych ward". Thanks. Always gotta get the dig in).

I was slightly high, groggy and: thoroughly awake. Just like the psych ward. Finally fell asleep watching some stupid cable movie.

[jamesmb]

Well it seems that in my case, a big DUH is in order. My Generalized Anxiety is full gear/full throttle/damn near agoraphobic level. That explains a lot.

Do you have anxiety issues?

[Navygrrl]

I'm starting to get into that "can't get to sleep and stay awake until the wee hours" mode. The main thing keeping it contained is that I'm fighting some sicky crud. The trazodone isn't making me tired enough anymore, and it's not keeping me asleep, so I'm feeling like I'm in a jumpy fog all day. On the plus side, the traz seems to be helping my GAD a bit.

I hope you are able to get some sleep soon, because it truly is vital, physically and mentally.

[dj586858]

I too keep staying awake until sometime in the middle of the night. I was still up at 4:30 one morning and I have to get up at 6 to get to work. Last night I saw "The X-files" and a "Law & Order" both of which I love but 6 am can come really early. Then when I am having a bad episode I sleep all day. No wonder I am screwed up! When I first got on meds and was going all night without sleep (and still working - that was fun) I took Trazadone too. It helped me. I am not on anything for sleep now.
Hope you find what works for you!

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by leah0306

so sorry to read your not sleeping, its so VITAL to function properly. have you ever tried trazadone,an older antidepressant , it will usually work for me, cant have the real sleeping pills, pdr. wont presc.them for me, oh well, i hope you will soon get some rest, take care

Trazodone did nothing for me when I tried it. The only thing that has ever worked is Seroquel. I am upping my dose tonight. Also, I am starting Lithium and p-doc said it will help with sleep too.

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by jamesmb

Well it seems that in my case, a big DUH is in order. My Generalized Anxiety is full gear/full throttle/damn near agoraphobic level. That explains a lot.

Do you have anxiety issues?

I have some. I get very paranoid and jumpy. I have major social anxiety issues and have a very hard time getting out of the house even when I have to.

I also have the same reaction to Benedryl. I get wired. My p-doc told me that it happens to a lot of people, especiall those with bipolar and anxiety.

[Moose72]

I just went thru 3 days withoutsleep. Pdoc put me in more seroquel and then I slept fir 2 days

[lonegael]

(((((((((BNLsMOM))))))))))))) Any favorite lullabyes, hon?

[BNLsMOM]

Six hours last night. Raising Seroquel and starting Lithium must have helped.

[Navygrrl]

Good to hear you're getting some sleep finally.

[lonegael]

How are you, MOM?

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by lonegael

How are you, MOM?

I slept better last night. Lots of dreams. I guess I was making up for a lack of REM sleep.

I am all over the place today. Might have to call my T again tomorrow.

[lonegael]

Whatcha angry about, MOM? Huggs

[BNLsMOM]

Just a general irritation and anger. I am trying really hard to not take it out on my kids because I know it is pretty much aimed at my illness and all the issues I've been having. I am pretty much sick of it all. I'll see my T tomorrow morning. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without his help and without this board.

[lonegael]

Sometimes it helps for me to imagine that my illness has like a shape, like an animal, and to describe it to myslef; what it feels like, looks like, smells like and how it thinks. then I try to think of it sitting there outside of me. Kind of usefull to snarl at without turning against myself. Huggs hon, I don't know if that would work for you, but anyhoo...

[BNLsMOM]

I've drawn what it looks like before. It is an ugly grey creature that sits with its back to me. It won't look me in the eye and waits for me to approach it with empathy and care. Suddenly, it jumps up and I realize it is huge. It overpowers me and hides itself within me, possessing me and using me as its host.

Well, that's how I feel lately anyway. I hope to be able to leave it outside myself someday. I hope it will receive my empathy and care without trying to destroy me.

[lonegael]

And kids! Mine get sleepy one time they get Benedryl, the next time they get so wired that they are up nearly 24 straight. For a while we were using Benedryl occasionally with my youngest, but no more. Might as well pump him full of cola before he goes to bed Right now, I haven't slept either, but that's because I have been having to take decongestants to head off a sinus infection, and they don't let me sleep, even when I cut them back to once a day. AAAAAAAARGH