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#1
Jan 07, 2010, 10:19 AM
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Why is it that when I am not ruminating on terrible things that I am still severely depressed? Is the definition of depressed not just limited to how I feel? My actions indicate a severe depression and every time I take a depression quiz it showa that I am severely depressed.
Also, when I take a mania quiz, because I have stopped ruminating, I show a moderate mania. The mood tracker quiz shows either depression or mania, but the number are alway close to each other. Am I mixed? I can't seem to get a professional to tell me. Is mixed my baseline, or am I still sick? This post makes no sense... My meds must be messing with me. |
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#2
Jan 07, 2010, 10:27 AM
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Quote:
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#3
Jan 07, 2010, 10:32 AM
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I ruminate most when I am depressed. Rumination for me is much different than racing thoughts that I get when I hypomanic. And rumination is just one symptom of depression. You don't have to have all of the symptoms of depression to be severely depressed.
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#4
Jan 07, 2010, 10:33 AM
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Your post makes sense to me. Do you print your quizzes & take them to your appointments? I know if I go in for my appointments without a list, my mind starts racing & I don't recall things properly. I feel that tracking my emotions, printing the quizzes & then taking them to my appt shows the doc that I'm motivated to get better. She knows that if I show up without a list, I'm really down.
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#5
Jan 07, 2010, 10:46 AM
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My thoughts always race, even while I am ruminating. How do I describe that...
It's like my thoughts happen in layers. I can be stuck on something in the first layer and then I can be worrying about something in another, imagining my future or a story in another layer, having up to three songs playing at once in other layers, typing on the computer and listening to the tv, thinking about my kids...it goes on and on. Picture stock tickers going across the bottom of a tv show, add a few more of those, the main show and a radio playing that is stuck between three channels and kids playing... There is an ad on tv for bing.com where everyone is talking at once... that is my brain. It is exhausting sometimes and exciting other times. The speed never changes, but sometimes the content does. |
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#6
Jan 07, 2010, 03:46 PM
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I know that feeling, like ther are so many people talking at once that sometimes it runs together as white noise. I have that A LOT. AAAARgh you poor thing. Huggs.
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#7
Jan 07, 2010, 05:28 PM
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I hear you BNL with the thoughts. I have a very chatty mind no matter what my current state is (depressed, mixed, normal). It's nice to have labels (ie. depressed phase, mixed phase, etc) but in my estimation I care more about how I actually feel. The online tests are great but like they say, they're not diagnostic. I like to do a check in sometimes with an online test but what I have found most helpful is keeping a mood chart. There is one I love as it's all inclusive - manic, normal, depressed, anxiety, irritability, weight, meds, sleep. It's all on one page. Here's the link: http://www.healthyplace.com/bipolar-...rt/menu-id-67/. It's through HealthyPlace and has a blank chart, instructions for completing, and a sample completed chart. I have found this to be the easiest to use as you can account for being mixed (for me depressed and hypomanic all in the same day). This is really helpful for your pdoc and T to see when you go in as it shows where you've been. You know as well as I do that when you're hearing so much noise in your head it's hard to go to an appt and remember exactly how you've been since your last visit. Hope you're feeling better soon. Take good care!!!!
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 lonegael, vox1
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#8
Jan 07, 2010, 07:09 PM
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I have trouble with mood charts because most of the time I can't tell what my actual mood is. I'll check this one out though and see if it is any different.
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#9
Jan 08, 2010, 05:15 PM
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I am realizing more and more that I am in a mixed episode. I have so much going on in my mind but I am so depressed and angry at the same time. I am sick of it all.
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#10
Jan 09, 2010, 09:45 AM
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I honestly think the mixed stuff is a foretaste of H"## itself. Poor you! Han g in there and keep close tabs on the nastiness, esp. with the kids. Have you told p-doc yet? HUUGGGGGGS until you get irritated and don't want them.
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#11
Jan 09, 2010, 10:42 AM
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Did this angrier mood start when you started taking the lithium or before? (I'm trying to remember how you were feeling last week but I just remember problems with your hubby.) It could be either the lithium working into your system and sending everything out of whack or it could be that the lithium hasn't gotten into your system enough? Isn't that nice, mixed episode in between medicines working, so there isn't much relief. Wow, I am not ever very helpful to you. Sorry 'bout that.
(lonegael, you are funny.)
__________________
"School is shortened, discipline relaxed, philosophies, histories, languages dropped, English and spelling gradually gradually neglected, finally almost completely ignored. Life is immediate, the job counts, pleasure lies all about after work. Why learn anything save pressing buttons, pulling switches, fitting nuts and bolts?" Bradbury, Ray Fahrenheit 451 p 55-56 |
| lonegael
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#12
Jan 09, 2010, 12:31 PM
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Quote:
It started before the Lithium, so I am guessing it hasn't started to kick in yet. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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