[Moose72]

Couldn't sleep at all. Out at starbucks. Haven't been home all night. Means I missed all my meds. Tried sleeping at friend's place - didn't work. Want sex so bad. Sent an old boyfriend an email saying I wAnted sex with him! Five years ago. Not even really a boyfriend!

[spiritual_emergency]

Hello Moose,
It seems this manic episode of yours has been going on for quite a while now. I may be wrong but I'm assuming you've gone through these cycles before. If so, I was wondering... what has it taken in the past to bring you down? An unwanted pregnancy? An arrest? Loss of a job or significant relationship? A sexually transmitted disease? Hospitalization?

I grant that I'm new to participating in this area of the site and perhaps it's frowned upon to discourage someone when they're in a manic episode that seems to be escalating. Nonetheless, I'm going to assume that you're a good person who has a life and doesn't deserve the pain of self-destructing. Do you have a doctor or therapist you could call? Is there a family member or friend nearby who cares about you enough to ensure you get some help in putting on the brakes before any of the above happens?

I agree. You seem to be on a pretty self destructive path. Call your pdoc and get some medical help before things get any more out of hand. Please. The med change a week ago hasn't helped; time for more intervention.

[lonegael]

Hi, Moose! Still kind of stressy after the holidays?

[Moose72]

I dunno. I'm still upbeat not tired. Went to ihop and had a great conversation with the waitress. I'm gonna go to the record store later and get some lps. This us so weird to not be tired. I gave never been arrested or any of those things you've listed. I really don't think um bad until I start depersonalization or hallucinating and not done either of those for over a year. It feels good to laugh. I dunno about crashing. Can't see it happening- hasn't before. Psych er will just let me sit in bright lights and whatever and no fun stuff like reg ER has when I go - morphine

and yes- I hate my mother. She is stressing me out big time. She looks at me with a suspicious eye everytime I walk past her. Add to that complainng and doing her martyr bit.... I've gotten used to it but some days, rather than beat her to a pulp, I just leave.

[spiritual_emergency]

Moose: and yes- I hate my mother. She is stressing me out big time. She looks at me with a suspicious eye everytime I walk past her. Add to that complainng and doing her martyr bit....

My own child doesn't seem to like me much when they're manic either; I become the weight around their neck, the Debbie in their downer, the rain on their parade. Nope. They don't like to be around me when they're manic. Fortunately, my value seems to increase when they're psychotic, suicidal, depressed, in jail, or in the hospital. Meantime, I went back and read through some of your earlier posts. It seems like you've been heading in an upwards direction since early November.

I gave never been arrested or any of those things you've listed. I really don't think um bad until I start depersonalization or hallucinating and not done either of those for over a year.

I'll cross my fingers for you then. Meantime, at risk of sounding like a nagging mother... it might not hurt to touch base with your doc again.

Best of luck with it, Moose.

[Moose72]

Thank you!

[lonegael]

Yep, best of luck. Hmm, never liked my mom when i was manic, either, but even when i am stable now we can stroke each other's fur the wrong way. rather persistently. That could also be a problem if you are living with her and yet irritated, sort of a vicious cycle. take care of yourself, moose! Gotta do the laundry!

[Moose72]

I'm hanging out at the book store. Feel fine. I feel like I don't need to sleep again. Like sleep is a waste of time. So much more I could do at night- especially away from annoying people!

[Moose72]

Still up. Home. Eating.

[Moose72]

Brushing teeth is a great thing!

[Moose72]

No sleep. I'm thinking of going to the psych ER. I can see days of this.

That sounds like it might be a good idea.

[lonegael]

Ditto there! just imagine the crash! AAAAARGH, what a prospect!

[cybermember]

The ER definitely sounds like a good plan.

[spiritual_emergency]

I was reviewing some older posts Moose and came across this link that made me think of you: How To Prevent a Manic Episode

One of the key factors that seem to be so vitally important to people is that they be able to maintain some degree of control over what happens to them. It can be humiliating and discouraging to have other people step in and impose control. A quick review of that article might give you some ideas on what you can do that will allow you to maintain control. Naturally, if you choose to go to the local ER, that's a choice that you have made on your own behalf -- it's not one that's forced upon you.

I'll continue to wish you the best of luck Moose. Crashes are no fun for anybody.

~ Namaste

[Moose72]

I'm back. Long story. Basically it took them until about 45 mins ago to tell me I'm not on any illegal drugs and give me a sleep plan! It's so messed up. Then they said take seroquel when I get home but don't sleep till 10 pm. Right...

[spiritual_emergency]

What have they got you on for seroquel?

[Moose72]

I took the seroquel - just 50. Now woke iup- with a migraine!!!!!

[looking4polaris]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I took the seroquel - just 50. Now woke iup- with a migraine!!!!!

Hey Moose. Sounds like your trip to the ER was a wasted PITA. Don't you just want to smack the staff when you haven't slept in forever (and you are trying to get things sorted out) and they tell you something stupid like "you have to let the pills work" or "here try taking this pill you've already taken a million times without success." I used to say it was no use talking to the hospital docs/staff because they didn't listen to anything coming out of a patient's mouth. Instead, I suggested we all wear our charts around our necks and let the ink do the talking.

Haven't you already been taking the Seroquel? If so, it doesn't sound like it's helping. And you had a second med. adjustment too, right (which maybe also isn't working)? Try slapping all that on a piece of paper around your neck and try again at the ER. If they won't listen, then get real manicky on them and they'll shoot you with something to knock you out for sure

Sorry about the migraine...or maybe it's a momgraine. I'm sure that's not helping with the sleep. Hope you are able to find something/someone to help.

Your also manic pal,

[lonegael]

Oh what a pack of ------- at the ER! AAARGH!!!!!

[Moose72]

Thanks.

I did take seroquel and eventually fell asleep. I think once I was asleep I was good - my own spot helped but it didn't the other day. Yeah exactly about the chart! And yeah just test me for drugs and ask me about it like I'm lying. Then when it comes back negative where's my "sorry"? Or even just " oops"?

So now I'm still so heavy feeling and got up to eat. They can all just miss me there which was probably a test or something. I told them last night if they wanted me to sleep why give me (the same) drug fir that but schedule a 9 a.m. appointment? No answer. Teaaly good at communication they are!

[Moose72]

Polaris - YES! To everything you wrote!!

[Moose72]

Lonegal- you summed it up beautifully

[lonegael]

A nine o'clock appointment? Huh? and they say we're nuts...