[Moreta]

Since I went to my therapy session on Tuesday, my emotions have been running pretty high. Most of the emotions I have been feeling are that of anger and of frustration. Anger from the realization of all the emotional abuse I have just taken forever, and the frustration that my mother will never get it. Nor will she ever change her ways.

So this weekend I'm avoiding her, b/c I think I might say something bad, and make the situation even worse. I think I might see if I can see the therapist again this week, because I'm having problems sorting all these feelings out.

[perpetuallysad]

When I first started therapy I was completely against the idea that my mother could have caused any of my problems. This was partly because when I was younger she would sort of threaten me about blaming her for my problems. (Are you starting to see that she is a problem?) I have now come to TRY to accept that I will never be the person she wants me to be, that its not my fault she abused me and I will not turn into her, no matter what happens. Its sad how much of your life is based on your childhood. I wonder what I would be if it would have been different. I guess I'll never know. I do know that one of the healthiest things I've ever done for myself was cease all communication and contact with my mother. Now I only have to work on things she did to me in the past and no longer have to deal with current (and fear future) abuse.

[johnny 5]

I just accepted the fact that im bp. I am not mad at my mom just disapointed..She new her mom was bp and knows she is using alcohol to try and hide from hers. Why not get me help when i was a kid? Now im 41 and have a 17 year old daughter. I guess i will be the break in the cycle and get the help i need and help save my daughter some of the pain.