[imfalling]

My thoughts race through my head. I ride this roller coaster everyday. I have an awful sense of dread for everything. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. One minute I get a little hope, and the next I have none. Been depressed for a couple of weeks, very moody and agiated. I am so tired of this. Take my meds, doing ok have started having tremors in my hands and legs. See doc this week. I try to plan my day but sometimes can't get out of bed. My therapist says to stay positive. I used to love to cook, now everything I cook I burn or it's not done. I feel like I have lost myself. I am not the same person I used to be. I feel guilty, useless and worthless. It seems if you have a good day the next is a bad day! Just trying to cope alot going on. One hurdle after another. Thanks for listening. I just need someone to vent to.

[liljamie23]

i completly understand. i am so sorry you are feeling badly. here's a hug... hope it gets better for you soon.

[happysad22]

Hi Imfalling
Don't confuse "the person" you see through your illness with yourself. It's not you nad underneath the illness you are the same person....the "good person you thought you were", and ARE !!

I understand your feelings and what you are going through perfectly. So go ahead and vent as much as you need. I am sure there are lots of great people here willing to lend an ear. Stick with your meds ( as hard as I know that is sometimes ) and be kind to yourself.

here's a bit of for you

hope you start feeling better soon.

happysad

[crazymusiclvr]

You remind me of myself about 7 years ago. How long have you...I will not ask the time frame you have battled with this but how long ago did you seek help? It takes time. It took me a good 2 years to stabalize on my meds, a bit longer to learn some coping skills. Take it one day at a time. You have to realize that the fact that you are seeing and recognizing these things, is HUGE. It's good! Most bipolar people don't have any awareness of what is going on and they continue to suffer. I know getting used to meds is hard. I still have tremors in my hands. I used to play piano but now I can't but i'm sure I will again someday, just like you enjoyed cooking and you will again. Hang in there! Go you! for getting help,

Lia
crazymusiclvr@aol.com

[Fire_Star]

(((imfalling)))

[Ascension]

Welcome to PsychCentral. I too am Bi-Polar and I know how frustrating it can be when it feels like life is out of control. I have learned to utilize the very nature of the illness. Try being creative in some way. Writing, painting, drawing, whatever you like to do. Use all the emotions you are feeling to create something if you can. It can be an incredibly powerful tool Bi-Polar Disorder. Some of the most successful artists of all time suffered from it. Sure it can be hard to learn to control but I honestly wouldn't trade it all away because I live life so fully with the torrent of emotions I can experience. The important thing is to learn to stay safe and balanced as best you can. Thank you for checking in with us. We are glad you reached out. Stay safe(take your meds and call someone if you need to) and check back if you need to.

[lonegael]

imfalling, don't feel guilty for being ill. There is much this illness does that can throw us off balance, especially when it makes the things we identify with difficult or impossible to do. Hang in there. You are far from worthless and once your concentration and stability kick in, it will go a lot better. HUGGSS from one who has been there.