[NLITEN]

Ok, so I am new to all of this bp stuff so can anyone tell me if this is unique to me or not. I have found so often lately that not only am I spontaneous and indecisive but that I end up both doing things which I hadn't intended to do and worse, doing things I had definately intended NOT to do. I feel I have very little control over my actions. I feel like I need to be tied up to prevent myself from doing something against my will. Is this normal for anyone out there???
-Valerie

[Eva1nder]

A little voice in my head is always going off and it says " what the heck am I doing" ...and now i find myself answering ... "i dunno"?

Don't worry I know the voice is myself... lol.

I will constantly do stuff that I shouldn't or I don't know why. Depends on the situation.

Just last week I bought pants and a few other things. I can't afford these pants. Made me sick. I have to go back and return them. This is something I do constantly. I'm known as the "return queen".

This is just one example I can give.

Hi btw ..nice to meet you.

Take care
Eva

[dogtanian]

i do stuff like that all the time - i'm always saying i can't do stuff and then relenting even though i know it'll make things worse.

i think it's fairly normal with bp, i think it's about maybe having distorted expectations of what you can/can't do, what's reasonable to expect, what you feel is right at a given time etc.

sorry if that wans't much help, and welcome

[NLITEN]

Thanks guys, that's good to know. I always thought that the hole shopping thing was just part of being a girl. But the other stuff ... there's no doubting it's not "normal" (what a word huh!)

[TgrsPurr]

This sounds like acute mania to me. I've been there many times. I would become premiscuous. I would spend money I didn't have on major shopping sprees. Things would come out of my mouth I normally would've kept to myself. I talk to anyone and everyone and expose things about myself I normally wouldn't. Acute mania can be quite self-destructive if not kept in check. My last acute manic episode I gave myself a drastic hair cut. Fortunately it came out good. But that could've been potentially disastrous.

So no, I don't believe this to be "normal" behavior, but normal for acute manic episodes. TgrsPurr, xo.

[NLITEN]

Yes! This is a better clarification. And I was referring more to promiscuity and blowing off responsibilities I cannot afford to blow off..
I can see how this is getting worse and I defo need to be on some stabilizers, but I am still a little scared about it. I mean, my life changes completely with my emotions so if I have them tempered what will that do to my identity????

Do I have some definite identity aside from my emotions? Some unchanging aspects of myself? I don't know...

[TgrsPurr]

NLITEN, I use to ask myself those exact same questions. I assure you that you are still you regardless of the cylce your in. That voice is always there, we just have a tendency to either ignore it or bary it and sometimes were zooming so fast we can't grasp it. But know that mood stabilizers aren't going to "change" who you are, only temper the extremes to a more tolerable and safer level. I'm on meds and I'm still the silly, witty, clever, emotional and somewhat moody person I've always been. You'll only become more "manageable" and the voice of reason and self-preservation. You will "change" in that you will have better control over the self-destructive things you tend to do when cycling. Life becomes a little more peaceful, calm and more "in the moment" instead of thinking a quadrillion things all at once tearing you in a million different directions. The downside can be the side-effects. Although for most ppl those eventually go away if your consistant with taking your meds daily and on time. The very fact that your asking these questions and willing to explore the options is a testimony to your true self. Remember that! TrgsPurr. xo.

i used to do all of the things that people mentioned here. i'm on meds now and i'm still me..but without all those crazy impulsive things going on in my mind and body.......i'm level now......it's really nice, too.....xoxo pat

[Mahali]

bump

[28andforward]

Yes, your emotions are what you are BUT only when you can control them for your personal welfare. Definitely, therefore, recommend a stabilizer; it is wonderful to walk down the street and not want to hurt something or someone, to feel like maybe emotions are somewhat normal. This is new here, too, not sure what normal is yet either, but it IS ALL better with stabilizers - and you are still you, just a much more in-control you.