[SheilaJane]

Hey all. I haven't been diagnosed with Bi-Polar. I have struggled with what I thought was just depression pretty consistently since I turned 15. The consistency of it makes me think that I don't have bi-polar at all. But I recently learned about mixed episodes in a psych class and I was wondering if anyone with actual experience/ understanding could clarify what, exactly, a mixed episode feels like. I have waves of depression. I am never fully not depressed except for slight periods of time when I am hyper and really happy... but I can't really focus on anything during these times. I usually do silly and slightly embarrassing things (like one of my nick names is JayJayJetPlane and when we were talking about this with a group of friends once while I was hyper, I stuck my arms out and pretended to be an airplane. I was 17 and we were walking down a rather busy street, but at the moment, it seemed like a funny thing to do. My friends laughed and stuff, but looking back, it embarrasses me quite a bit.) for the most part though, I waver between moderate depression and severe depression. I haven't brought this up with my T yet b/c he is always all about not trying to diagnose yourself and all that. But I am really starting to wonder. Last week, while I was depressed, I was also energetic. I only slept for 13 hours total over a span of 6 days. I had two exams in that time that I thought I did really well on. I failed both of them. I would love insights by people who have experienced mixed episodes before to see if maybe that is what is going on with me. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

bipolar - major roller coaster, add food or not, caffiene, lack of sleep...

depression for no reason

hyper out of the blue

up & down in one day many hours.

i'm here,,,, if ever want - k

[SheilaJane]

Originally Posted by starlite*111

bipolar - major roller coaster, add food or not, caffiene, lack of sleep...

depression for no reason

hyper out of the blue

up & down in one day many hours.

i'm here,,,, if ever want - k

the depression and hyper out of the blue happens to me multiple times in one day. I thought that bi-polar was hyper for a week or so, and then depressed for a week or so.

Originally Posted by SheilaJane

the depression and hyper out of the blue happens to me multiple times in one day. I thought that bi-polar was hyper for a week or so, and then depressed for a week or so.

It changes, so unpredictable. Long lasts of depression is destruction for me.
But after days of hyper - I crash.

The circle can be just to much.....

I was a week bipolar up & down

now through out day.

Please come here more, ask question, everyone is different OF COURSE.

It is a very difficult chemical imbalance but very interesting and ever changing, and med changes are necessary

[SheilaJane]

Thank you so much for answering some of my questions. I think that I will bring up the possibility of this to my T on Thursday. Better to cover all bases, right?

[BashfullOne]

starlite*111 knows what she's taling about. It's great that you're listening to her.
You will find lots of help her on PC - there is a lot of wisdom and friendship to be made here.
Good luck!

[SheilaJane]

I'm so grateful for the support that I have already experienced here. Its a great community.

[missmoonshine]

Hi! Everyone is different and not everyone fits the textbook case. The rollercoaster sometimes slows down and then speeds up again its unpredictable in nature for me also. I have just gone from really depressed again with suicidal thoughts to hypomania again with the uncontollable racing thoughts irrational and misplaced rage. I can have a couple of days with mania then weeks of depression or vice versa, theres just no knowing really.
For me lack of sleep=tremendous amounts of energy yet I actually achieve little, having to complete the simplest of tasks again and again
Today was a day where I wanted to run away and hide from the world, to tell everyone to **** off and leave me the hell alone.
My mood stabiliser obviously needs adjusting

[SheilaJane]

Yeah, I've been looking into it more and realized that I mis-labled my question, I think. As I have read more about it, I am thinking that I may have bi-polar II. Maybe. The hypomanic states seem to fit what I am experiencing, but I really do spend the majority of my time in some level of depression. This thread has helped me to understand this whole thing so much better. I am planning to bring up the possibility with my therapist on Thursday. I will let you all know how it went! thank you so much for the responses!

[Pughead]

For me it's not so out of the blue. I'll be in a really wired state (wired, not weird), trying to learn and do as much as I can, but somehow I end up getting disappointed when I don't achieve what I'm trying to, or realizing that it will take too much time that I don't really have. So that might just be a natural reaction to the situation. But I don't stay down for too long. I usually immerse myself in something else the next day, and then get disappointed again. When I'm in this state I'm prone to anger, agitation, and overreacting. I also get a really tired and then wired cycle. Tired in during the latter part of the day, and then wired at night, to the point where I need to knock myself out with a heavy dose of benzos. In my case it might be just flat out hypomania/mania. I don't get really bummed out. I dunno. I think a mix state would have more severe lows than what I get. But this state has been persistent since last July, though the first few weeks I was really, really wired. Now it's steadily on the high-side, but close enough to where a trigger could knock me over the fence into "highly-regrettable behavior and actions land."

When I get depressed I tend to stay down for quite a while, several weeks or more.

[SheilaJane]

Yeah, I have been pretty severely depressed for about 4 months now It really sucks. But i get these, like, 2-5 hour bursts of crazy energy where I am just in a great mood. IDK what it is. This is what led me to think maybe am experiencing hypomania with my depression. My friends will be like "woah, Sheila, calm down" or whatever cause I'll be talking wicked fast or just all over the place. But, when they pass, I am always just as bad (if not worse) than I was before I got hyper.

[SheilaJane]

See, like right now I am in a GREAT fricken mood! I feel awesome! I can't concentrate for S***, but I don't even care! I just wanna go hang out with someone and have a good time! If it wasn't a Tuesday night, I'd hit up some friends to go get drunk and party it up! These are the times that I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. Like, yeah, I'm a little depressed sometimes, but how is this mood bad? It's not like I need to focus on anything right now... well, I could PROBABLY be doing homework... but I don't HAVE to do homework... so why should I complain about this? But my friends right now on AIM are all like "whoa! what did you you smoke?" lol. But whatever. And I know it's gonna suck when I crash... but right now I'm just enjoy the none-suck-fest that is my outlook on life. Does that make sense??

[Anneinside]

Are you on psychiatric medications? Have you contacted your psychiatrist?