[familymember]

For the past 3-4 years, our family has been coping with our 37 yo son's bipolar disorder. He abandoned his wife and children, literally walking away leaving his home, possessions, clothing, family contacts, his whole life. Unpaid mortgage for over a year got his wife and kids a foreclosure. She and the two kids had to move in with her mother in another state, where she is afraid of him. His wife filed for divorce based on adultery. He has broken off with his two brothers, father and mother and took up with a high school girlfriend of 20 years ago. I get emails yesterday that said "I wish you would die." His most recent paycheck just got hit by court ordered garnishment and reportedly he went ballistic. He is not under treatment.

Looking for an online support group offering advice.

[Anneinside]

You are in a bad, awkward situation. You love him but don't like what he is doing. Unfortunately, you can't do anything to change it unless he wants help. Sometimes people have to reach rock bottom before they want to get help and change their situations. My advice, try to stay in the children's lives. Obviously, you are in touch with him or at least someone who knows him and you since you know how he reacted to the garnishment. Although you may want to know what is happening in his life and in keeping a line open to him, you will have to deal with knowing that you can't do anything about it. I hope we, as a group, can help you with the support you seek.

I couldn't tell from your your entry what your relationship with him is, other than family.

[Anneinside]

Oh, never mind, I see he is your son.

[Ascension]

If I could I would like to refer your to NAMI (National Association on Mental Health) http://www.nami.org/ . I agree with putting the focus on helping those you can and set boundaries on how he is allowed to treat you and your loved ones. He needs to be accountable for himself or he will never get the help he really needs, which from the sounds of things is more professional in nature. Please post if you need more info or a place to talk about stuff.

[lonegael]

(((((((Familymember)))))) A sad and familiar story. Huggs and I hope it ends happier than it is right now.

[awilson70]

I feel like I'm going through a bit of this right now - only my son is 20 rather than 37. I beleive they live in a world that we can't touch. Medicated or not (sometimes my son takes his meds - sometimes he does not) - he is a different person every day. I think if your son decides to medicate himself again someday - he will be able to realize what has happened. I think as long as they are not medicating - they are in their own world and we can not touch them with words, advice and so much more.

My son is so kind to me somedays and like this weekend - he can be so cruel to me. I hate to say I'm used to it - but I am. Thankfully (or not) his girlfriend is also bi-polar. They can relate to one another - and hope they are manic and low on opposite weeks. It's a life I would NEVER wish upon anyone!!

Angie

This article may not fit your circumstances, but may be useful nonetheless: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...oved-one-cope/