[gardengift]

I'm feeling very nervous. I have so many "issues" I can't keep them all straight. A year and a half ago my family doc put me on Lexapro for severe depression and anxiety. For the first week I had side effects and felt terrible. Then suddenly on day eight I woke up and everything seemed very, very bright, sharp, clear. I felt this way for about two weeks then my mind sort of settled down a bit and I felt good for many months. Now I'm back to claustrophobia, periodic temper tantrums, irritablity, crazy dreaming, nail biting. In the past I've had auditory hallucinations, scary. I talk too much sometimes, well, most of the time... then I feel so bad about myself. I feel stupid and berate myself. I have not been diagnosed with bp but I think I may be. My son is bp. (he's adopted) Reading about bp for him has made me question it as a dx for me.I also scored in the moderate to severe range on the diagnostic test on this web site. I don't know how accurate that is, but, I assume it has some value. I think I have an auditory processing problem. Things get all jumbled and I often must ask people to repeat themselves. It's so embarrassing. It's confusing too and I don't trust myself because people will tell me they said something and I don't remember or I think they said something different. I am overwhelmed w/caring for my bp son. He's been hospitalized twice this winter, head banging, suicidal, etc. And I have an Asperger's son. I know I need to get some help for myself but I don't know where to start. I keep it all together for my kids but I feel immobilized when it comes to myself. Can someone help out? Sorry for the endless post. Thanks <font color="purple">

welcome to the forums.....keep posting..i'm sure you will find help and understanding here

[dogtanian]

welcome - this place is so helpful. it's always harder to sort things out for yourself than others - i am fine helping friends out but i ignore my own. i guess maybe it's natural to want to deny these things to some extent - it's easy to think that because others need you you can't have problems of your own or that they deserve help more etc etc - it's just human i think.

i hope you manage to get yourself some attention and help - sorry i'm not much help myself :S

good luck xxx

[TgrsPurr]

Welcome gardengift. I'm glad you posted and that I have the chance to find out about you, makes it easier to respond.

I cannot diagnose you, nor would I even try. I can only speak for myself and say that as someone with bp mixed states with psychotic features I've experienced many of the things you mentioned. Auditory hallucinations, talking too fast for people to understand. Having ppl repeat themselves because my attn span is minute. yes it's embarrassing. But I found meds help me with a lot of these things. I careful monitor myself. Keep track of my moods on a daily basis and look for patterns, clues and insights to my disorder. I'm glad to hear you're seeing a doctor and perhaps in time he'll get you properly diagnosed and on the right meds. Someone with bp has to be careful with antidepressants because it can throw you into acute mania. keep on eye on that. Please keep posting and we will all do our best to support you, encourage you and be here for you during the difficult times. Thanks for sharing. TgrsPurr. xo

please see a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis....i did...my life is so different now. i'm on meds and will start with a therapist soon. it really, really helped me. it will help you keep things "together" for your children. it has helped me with my job and life....pat

[gardengift]

THANK YOU everyone for responding to my post. It's so nice to have people who understand and are supportive. I have so little of that. I hide my disabilities from everyone but my husband. I've lost just about every friend and my dysfunctional family of origin mocks me. I look forward to having friends here even if it's at a distance. I hope I can eventually contribute something useful and not whine. Thanks and God bless!

you weren't whining.....and of course you'll make lots of friends here. this group is very friendly and supportive. i recommend reading through the other forums to get the overview of the site and i have to repeat how well i've done since i got my DX and my meds.....pat

[goofygirl]

Welcome, and I agree with the previous statements that were made, about seeing a p-doc and even a therapist. I'm still early on in all of this, and I'm still learning. Keep posting... this is a wonderful place!

[Mahali]

bump

[Hope4me2]

Just wanted to say welcome and tell you that you will LOVE it here.....do not worry about contributing anything for now...just read the post and of course keep posting we are here to listen and help when we can and love and support and encourage you ....we are all at different stages in treatments....take care....
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{welcome}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[lunabear]

I too am new to all of this. I was put on lexapro a little while ago. It is interesting that you also get auditory halucinations. It really scares me when it happens. It make me feel like I am going crazy. Lexapro also makes me very jumpy and bouncy on the inside ( if that makes any sence). I also feel like I need to get help but I havent found any one or any place. I am so scared of going into a hospital. I dont know what to do. I really understand how you feel. <font color="pink"> </font> <font color="pink"> </font>

I wanted to say that the most you post, the more attention and support you'll get. There are so many people here, that we have to ask for help and we have to give support to others..that's how it works best for most.....I hope you have a great day!! Pat