[Martina]

I'm not sure if I'm starting to get out of control again. I actually just sent my psych nurse an email, then called her to tell her to read her email...but she's on vacation for a week. I'm wondering if this is urgent enough to call her cell phone, or if I should just wait until our appointment on the 28th.

Even way back at our last appointment on March 16th, she noticed I was talking faster and even said, do you think you're going hypomanic. I shrugged it off and just blamed it on having too much coffee that morning.

But I've been slipping into some old bad habits. The worst of which - my internet addiction. And surfing the net at work. The problem is, my job started out part-time, but they liked me so much they hired me on permanent full-time...without any extra duties. So for 2-3 weeks out of the month, I'm sitting on my butt doing nothing. I've asked my boss for more work, but there's nothing. It's driving me insane. So I drift online. I still get all my work done, but I know this is not a good thing. And I can NOT afford to lose my job over something so petty. We are so broke right now.

Then there's the spending. It's nowhere near as bad as in the past. In my manic phase a couple years ago, I racked up a $7,500 credit card in a matter of weeks. Now, it's simply that I had budgeted myself $60 of cash spending money to last me a whole month - and I spent it all in one week.

But that leads into the next one - I think a vast majority of that $60 was spent on food. The binging is a constant thing, it's here whether I'm manic or not (which doesn't make sense to me). But it seems to be getting worse. Actually, I did somehow manage to lose 2.4 pounds last week, so I guess it must not be that bad....but still.

And another weird one, I don't know if this means anything, but I keep getting into "planning mode" - worrying about the future. Budgeting our money, worrying about paying the bills, worrying about Kindergarten...in September, stuff like that. Not focusing on the here and now.

Now, all of this could be related to a meds change. I recently switched from Invega to Risperdal because we can't get samples of Invega anymore and I can't afford to pay for it, and Risperdal is generic. But that switch didn't happen until Saturday night, April 17th. My last appointment with her, when she commented on my behavior, was March 16th. And I've been spending money like this for a while (not just the $60, that was just one example).

What should I do? Should I call my psych nurse on her cell phone on her vacation? Or just wait it out until she gets back next week? How can I make sure I'm safe until then?

[grizmom]

Isn't there anyone who covers for her when she has a vacation? If not, then I guess you could either call her or you could be evaluated in the er...it does sound like manic behavior, but I'm not sure how much she can do while on vacation. I hope you are able to figure something out...take care!!

[RRU96]

First of all, not sure if you qualify, but http://www.janssen.com/company_pap.html this is a link to a patient assistance program. Something to look into for the Invega medication if that is something you were trying to stay on. Second of all, did your psych nurse give you any instructions on when it is appropriate to call her? You have the number. This already says alot about her as a nurse. If she has expressed that it would be okay, I think even the quick call to hear her might be enough to help calm you down. Mind you, call after call wont get you anywhere but backwards. Its just hard to say for some of us what to do because each doc,T,nurse,etc has their own rules with contact with patients.

In the meantime on deciding whether to call or not, you may at least get a notepad and start writing down what you want to talk about come your next visit. Maybe writing it down will help.

[kadesgirl09]

I agree with RR about writting your moods and feelings down... I was sorta in the same spot a few weeks ago only reversed. I was super depressed and couldnt manage to get any work done because I was just spaced out all the time. I called and couldnt get in to see my doctor early ( I would have had to miss work I couldnt afford to miss) but by the time I got to my appt my moods had changed and I felt fine of course fine for me is hypomania but at least the meds keep me from doing things outragous anymore. I get you with the credit card incident. One year in a two month period I bought 6 SIX full blood registered boxer puppies. While living at my mom's house where she said I could not have a dog at all. Oops.. Good luck on your situation and dont feel bad about calling the nurse. She wouldnt have given you her number if she didnt want you to call when you really felt like you needed to.

[Perna]

I'm not sure your psych nurse will "answer" her cell phone on vacation; my T use to forward her numbers to another number/message. I would try to wait out the week, try to think of something else to help myself?

I'm taking an online computer course; maybe you could find an inexpensive course or one that your business would pay for and, instead of just surfing the Net, you could work on that?

Do you write at all? You could focus your energy on a writing project or starting a blog (I use to do that when my T was away; start a special project for just that period when she was away; I got the little examination blue books: http://www.amazon.com/Examination-Bo...dp/B001A1RLEQ/ and I'd write one a day :-)

See if you can focus some of the extra energy.