[RRU96]

Recently I have started to get treatment AGAIN for my Bipolar. Silly me thought I didnt need my meds. Regardless, I am back on them, kinda, and am thankful for this. (kinda, because of the anxiety attack they took me off Geodon and left me just on Lamictal).

When I saw the Nurse Practitioner the other day, I remembered him from the last time I was being treated. He was Phenomenal then, and he remains just as great. Very open, understanding of what I have been through in my life, even though he doesnt know everything. Just an all around caring and compassionate guy. He brought up the question, "Have you applied for Disability ?". I gave him my honest answer. I have never felt that I was disabled, even though I know that I have had hard times keeping down jobs in the past. Some have lasted for awhile, others just a few weeks.

After telling him that, he told me that he felt I could get disability. That he understands all of the issues I have on my plate that I am dealing with, (*I am a caregiver for my wife who has Multiple Sclerosis, and who may be joining PC herself) and that he thinks I should be able to get it. I am wondering, at what point do you finally realize, I think I need to apply. I mean, Not only do I have Bipolar, I have shown symptoms of it for many years though only diagnosed for 2, but I am also a caregiver. I have LEFT my job to care for my wife. It wasnt like I lost my job. I fear that they are gonna use that against me, showing that I was able to work for some time and I CHOSE not to work. Like, I am seeking money or something. Thats the fear, whether its imagined or not. I have never been after money. Just some form of help on bills when it comes to me medically.

In fact, my wife and I live on $568 per month, her SSI. I havent even applied for food stamps because there are so many people out there that have children, losing their jobs and not being able to put food on their tables. We have found a way, but it is a struggle. I just fear that they will use me leaving my job against me, as well as the fact that I am caring for my wife, they will try to say that I am able to do that so therefore I am able to take care of others as a job. This isnt the case, but How can you show them this.

I honestly feel that the bipolar, without a doubt, has caused me to have over 20 jobs in my life. Especially since I am only 31. Just, wanted some advice on those who may have faced similar issues.


Also, How many of us are Left Handed ?

[grizmom]

I applied for SSDI when I was 19. I had tried a lot of different jobs and most only lasted a few months before I ended up in the hospital because I was so overwhelmed. I just couldn't work no matter how hard I tried, even when I liked the job. However, for me it is not just bipolar...I also have generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, chronic insomnia, and at the time I applied I had an eating disorder. I was denied when I applied, my first appeal was denied, but my second appeal was approved. I had to get a lawyer and go to a hearing for that, and that's when I found out that I had been denied because of my IQ. The DVR was arguing that I was "too smart" to not be able to work. The judge was great, he yelled at the DVR rep and apologized to me and gave me double back-pay. I am telling you all of this because most people do get denied at least once, so you need to keep appealing. Maybe this website will help you out: http://www.marthachurchill.com/ssmibasic.htm

I wish you the best; it's a frustrating process but if you need to be on it, then you need to go for it.

P.S. I am right-handed

[musikcrazy]

Kudos to you for caring for your wife. It sounds to me like disability would be a good option. From what I understand, you don't have to worry about them thinking that you can work. You have tried in the past and you are dealing with so much right now. Plus, it was recommended to you by a professional. Do what you need to do. Take care.

[RRU96]

I agreed with the doc. I have a lot of things going on in my life. I just dont know when it becomes bad enough where I think I SHOULD file. Is the tipping point when a medical professional tells you..... when someone you work with mentions it...what is that breaking point.

Grizmom - While I do not share the same issues, doc did mention that there are more than likely other issues going on, which I mentioned to him BPD. He said that could very well be the case, plus the Army diagnosed me with an adjustment disorder (though they are full of $h!t)

Tracking down my employment history has already deterred me. WAY to many jobs to keep track of.. crappy excuse... I know. But this requires money from my understanding. Why wont the damn Social Security office do this themselves...

[thinker22]

I think you should try for it, and the sooner the better. They have 6 months to reply after you complete your application. At least that was the wait when I applied in August of last year.

They denied me in March, but I've already appealed. My doctors think I'll get it, and if your doctor(s) write you a good letter, it's likely you'll get it by the second or third appeal. They usually deny the first one just to see if you're serious or if you'll give up. Which is sad because people in our condition are often easily discouraged and don't have the energy to keep on fighting. The ones who may need it most are often turned away. So, you have to be stubborn about it.

I've left jobs too in the past due to burn out. I can only work full time for a few months before I'm emotionally spent and risk a serious episode. That's part of my case. I can work part time for longer, but even those usually don't last. I'm not irresponsible. I always come to work on time and call in sick maybe once or twice a year. It's just the disease makes it so your energy is too sapped to go for more than a day or two of work per week. At least in my case. I spend all my strength on my one day a week of work.

One of the requirements for disability is that you can't make more than $980 per month. I make about $650. You certainly fall into the required range.

Being disabled doesn't mean you can't brush your teeth and never leave your house or can't care for a pet or family member. It can be the case, but not necessarily. It may mean you have no social life (outside the internet) or your meds that keep you out of the hospital make you too drowsy and dizzy to hold down a job or concentrate for long periods of time. Like grizmom posted, check out that website on the 4 areas of functioning they look at. I have elements in each. All you need is two out of four.

It can't hurt to try, but it's a massive amount of info you have to provide and they have to collect (such as every doctor you've seen in the last year for your condition and your work history for the past 10 years and all the medications you're on and who prescribed them), so prepare yourself.

Best of luck in your battle. We're all here for you.

[grizmom]

I think if your pdoc or T says you should file, then that is enough of a reason...as for your employment history, do you keep your tax records? Or did you have someone else do your taxes that might have the info? I suppose in the end you can just write down the ones you remember. Good luck!!

[RRU96]

Thanks guys. I actually spent a good portion of the morning online filing for Disability. It took alot out of me, but I did it. I have my medical release filled out and ready to send in. I felt much better after filing.

As for that site that Grizmom showed, I actually found that site myself some time back. I have something in all 4 from what I can remember as well. Some that I am ashamed of, but if talking about them is what it will take to get this done, then that is something I will have to end up doing.