[gravyyy]

I stayed away from here for about 2 weeks because I thought maybe the ups and downs on posts on PsychCentral in general was making me have trouble finding my own stability. It wasn't, which I am happy about b/c i like being on here, but I really need something to happen here. I talked to my pdoc about maybe going to a sub-acute or residential treatment program and he basically thought it's a crock of crap b/c they are charging you all that money and they aren't going to be able to get to know you, blah, blah, blah. I figure if it didn't work, then the programs wouldn't be listed in the top 100 treatment centers by US News and World Report. He said 30 day treatment is not even long enough for addiction treatment let alone psychiatric treatment. My point is that I am not thinking I'm going to be there and be cured, but having therapy 8-10 hours per day, appt with pdoc 2-4 times weekly... i think that would give me some good tools to go forward (just don't know if it's worth $40,000+). That's his point. Why spend the money if it may not work?

Ugh... so now I don't know what to do... seeing him every 2 weeks is not cutting it... taking too long... I'm becoming more anxious and more unstable.... moody, violent, forgetful, and all I can do is sleep when I'm not at work (and I fall asleep while driving sometimes). I haven't seen my T in over a month b/c she has been reviewing stuff for an audit. UGH... okay... done venting... sorry but I am so darn frustrated.......

[NuckingFutz]

Maybe doing some new t shopping would be helpful. I say this because you yourself have noticed your symtoms getting worse. Is that something you can look into? The right t can make all the difference in the world.

[WendyAussie]

gravvvy, I believe your instincts to go to that treatment option are good. I have had several psych hospital/psych ward stays which were two to three weeks and they did wonders for me - probably saved my life. It's not fun in there. When I went in I was very sick, obviously, and you sort of feel, every minute of the day, and I getting better yet? But that doesn't atter. The stability you get, you are given your meds at set times everyday so you don't have to think about it, you are given meals (different arrangements for different places - some have caf-type arrangements) at set times , some other options) and don't have to worry about it. The psych nurses are there for you TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY. They are there simply for you psych recovery and physical and mental health, and yes, you have your psyycdoc visiting too - keeping track of everything. The other thing you can do while in there is go through any med changes, which as you know are very taxing on us when we are going through them all by ourselves at home - again, the psych nurses observe and loook after you.

I haven't paid money outright to get into the psych hospital, which was private, but I pay private insurance and have done for years, so with an excess of $300AUD I was in when I went to the private psych hospital. I've also been in a public psych ward where I live now. To be honest, they weren't that much different - just fewer day programs etc in the public one - but it sounds like the one you are considering would have the full deal - day programs included.

I'm an 11 years sober alcoholic and the only reason I have stayed sober so long is becuase I take the AA credo of "Go to any lengths to stay sober" deadly seriously and I do go to any lengths - and they can be dramatic - to stay sober.

Likewise with our mental health - it is our very lifeline and I believe that it is worth investing money to get a higher level of treatment to take you that next step in recovery - and have a break from the struggles of our home life. As our mental health frays away, we suffer so much more and are in more dangerous territory. And I think we are worth large investments.

Sometimes we need to stand up to our psychdocs if they are not acting in our interests. Have another chat with him.

[sugahorse1]

oh Gravyyyy - I'm sorry you still don't have an answer. I sometimes feel just like you, worried to come onto PC when I'm unstable, but this is my rock.

Unfortunately I don't know much about treatment plans, so I cannot really comment. But I know the feeling where you just want to be in therapy all day long, and just get the ball rolling and get it all out

[gravyyy]

Thanks Wendy,.. I have been in the hospital several times. I went to a private psych hospital where I was living. I had some small med adjustments and it was nice to take a break and not have to worry about me so much. Just basically unwind and come out having regrouped. I was looking more for an intensive treatment program but insurance doesn't cover it. I also wouldn't have my pdoc there as the treatment would be in a different state. So for that reason I could see it being tricky to just up and take over where the program leaves off. I do hear his point, but I still need something done.

As far as finding a new T, NF, I could, there are lots in the area but my pdoc and T are in the same building and I'm afraid it might be awkward to see one but not the other. The problem with therapy is that even with my last T, whom I thought was great, all it seems to be is an hour or so of talking. I don't know how it's supposed to go, but that's all it's been.... I go in and we chat for an hour and I leave. I'm waiting for something big to happen but it doesn't!!! Hahaha.... thank for the input everyone.

[WendyAussie]

gravyyy, ome thought about therapy is to look for someone who works with a particular therapsy modality, in my case ACT and Mindfulness. The book I use is by an Aussie psychologist Russ Harris and the book is called the Happiness Trap. It's truly is an excellent modality - a meeting of eatsern philosophy and western mental health treatment modes.

I'm like you, I want something concrete to work on - something you can hold onto and you can see that there's real progress happening. The downloading of life issues and venting is important, but we need someting more I believe.

[perpetuallysad]

You know gravvvy, I don't know what should happen in therapy besides just talking. I mean, my pdoc/t does give me a perspective on things that I am unable to see by myself, but other than that, what do we do? I've often longed/needed to go to the hospital, but do not have the means to pay for it. My pdoc/t seems to have the same attitude as your t, that its just not going to work. But I am like, wtf is going to work? I did the break from here too, though I only lasted about a week. I do find that some things on here kind of do trigger me and get me all worried, but I have realized that there are just some conversations I cannot be a part of and if I avoid them, I do much better on here. I love being here, so I don't want to lose this place. Hell, I feel like I get far more "therapy" from here than I ever do from my pdoc/t.

Wow, that really was just a long ramble. I do feel for you though and I hope things find some resolution. If you figure out what the hell that is, please share.