My life is in shambles......

WLFTW......I am clinging to your story like a lifeline. You have been through an incredible amount of difficulty, but you are here giving me( and anyone else like me) hope. I know my mental illness is extremely severe......my therapist cannot go any further with me. I truly am hanging on by a thread and I fear long term hospitalization, but I don't even know what that means. I have been in three times and back out within a week, because of insurance and because that is how things are done now. I'm very frightened, but not thinking bad thoughts. I could never put my husband and son through that again. The difference is that this time meds are trying to work for me......the last time I had no help and no control over my psychosis. The internet, PC, is my primary entertainment as well......just don't know how I would get through each day without you guys. Please know that your posts are everything to me, and WLFTW, your spirit is ringing through loud and clear. Thank you ever so much for sending that message.......greylove

greylove,

Your situation is very moving because it's similar to issues I have faced.

It can get better. Speaking from experience. It comes down to patience and tenacity. It is very hard to have a mental illness, very hard to be patient, and very hard to be tenacious. There is hope of recovery and I wish the road to recovery wasn't so hard. I was diagnosed with major depression back in 2000 and have gone through so many treatment options; I was very frustrated and I gave up on psychiatry more than once.

There really is a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel that conviction very strongly.



Winston

PS I came across a video containing clips from the move the Last Samurai about one of the characters named Captain Aldrun, played by Tom Cruise. I don't recommend this clip if seeing violence adversely affects you. I am deeply moved every time I see this because I relate to Cpt. Aldrun very much. It's only that his tenacity that he exhibits in the fights in the clip reminds me of myself. This war (or, as I sometimes call it, brain storm) has raged in my mind for some time now and I feel like a warrior defending and fighting for my own sanity. I consider the clip to be an apt metaphor for my own mental/emotional struggles and the never say die attitude. Again, don't watch this if you're squeamish as it potentially is a trigger.

This is the last post I'm reading, WLFTW, before I have to shut down my computer for the night. Thank you. I hope that's my tunnel that I'm seeing in the distance......

I would have trouble with the violence, but I'm glad you were able to take away something as strongly as you did, from the movie. Yes, this really is a "brain storm" and I can appreciate and understand that you feel a connection to someone who is waging a war, whatever type of war that may be......take care......greylove

I am also an older woman with bipolar 2. I have been through the dark depressions and with the right meds have come out the other side. All of us have been where you are now. It is hard to look at the future, but with the right meds you will feel well and live well again. I am new to this site, but have already found some good advice and peace of mind.