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onomonapetia · Jul 06, 2010, 07:03 PM

ohseedee, my heart is going out to you right now! My father told me something the other day in regards to suicide that made a light go off in my head. I too was having some thoughts that my life wasn't worth living anymore. I posted it here a few days ago. Anyway, He said that the strongest instinct that a human has is the survival instinct. That if I had the strength and courage to fight THAT instinct and kill myself, than surely I have enough strength to turn around and face whatever drove me to the edge in the first place and fight it!Besides that, at least here on this earth we know what we are up against; any pain we experience here is temporary. We don't know what the other side will bring, but whatever it is we will not be able to do anything about it!
I hope that makes sense. It did to me. Please keep us posted! It will help you stay connected to life. Give your body a chance to bounce back from the cymbalta and try something else. Cymbalta was awful for me too. You will be in my thoughts.

BlackPup · Jul 06, 2010, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanityseeker

Hi ohseedee.... been thinking about how important it is to have a good defense to the offensive of SI thoughts. I get the feeling that once we have made an attempt the idea never leaves us. There are always triggers causing us to consider it the only way to end the pain. So I think we all need to find our best defense to those vulnerable moments we will face. Maybe we can cast them out completely but meanwhile a good defense is required.

Have hope, after struggling with really destructive thoughts, often constantly suicidal for half my life, about 3 months ago - they went. Something just changed in my head and even when I was depressed (which always makes me suicidal) they were gone. But before that, I had to find a reason to stay alive to hang onto when times were tough.
How and why???? I know that religion can be a touchy subject so PM me if you want details

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohseedee

HOWEVER, something did bother me today, although I know I shouldn't get all hung up on diagnoses. I have two psychiatrists here, and they both have different diagnoses for me! My main one said he thinks I have a "Mood Disorder NOS, with Bipolar 2 tendencies, and Borderline Personality Disorder", and the other thinks "Bipolar 1 Disorder". I'm not sure if he agrees on the Borderline. So I was originally super angry about the Borderline, saying I didn't have it, no way...but later I did research and it's painfully obvious that I DO have it.

So now I'm trying to come to terms with it.

Labels are for the doctors... we are all individuals and don't fit into their pretty boxes!!!
With the borderline personality disorder, you are young - your personality is still developing, you can't even diagnose someone with BPD until they are 18 - does that make you a borderline borderline!!!
Personality disorders are part of a spectrum from personality styles to disorders with the only real difference being whether you can "function" whatever that is...
With your therapy, you can keep your personality and lose the disorder!!!
All the best and I'm really glad that you are feeling better.
Lots of love, K

sugahorse1 · Jul 07, 2010, 02:02 AM

ohseedee - I wouldn't worry too much about the labels psychiatrists give you - as long as they look at your symptoms and treat you and your concerns as individual.

I wish I was there to give you a hug and just let you know it'll all be ok - which it will be.

I just live onomonapetia's quote from her dad - it's lovely and so very true

Shakti · Jul 07, 2010, 09:07 AM

I notice the name change. I love it.

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