[Shakti]

So, is it just me or does it seem like, for the most part, none of our medications REALLY work for us? No matter how many times we change them?

I mean...is ANYone here "stable"? Has anyone at all found a med/combo/cocktail that has worked for any meaningful period of time? And by "worked" what do you mean? That you functioned, didn't kill yourself? That sort of thing? Or by worked, do you mean you found the right med/combo and lived/live a pretty normal life?

Or do these drugs just maybe keep us alive and barely hanging on?

I have a good combo now, but I doubt it's permanence. And not a single poster I can think of off the top of my head is "well" as in meds work, life functioning and life-livin' is normal/near normal, etc. Maybe there are some. I just can't think of them.

Can I have some positive stories? Are there any? Meds that worked (not as suggestion because as well know that's dependent on each person's body chemistry) for a significant period of time? Is anyone here stable and has been for a while? I don't mean like a few months...I mean a significant amount of time.

It just seems like post after post about how the meds are not working, are ****ing us up, or are crapping out on us or making our lives worse. I'd not go off mine or anything, I just want some idea that there is hope of finding peace and a "normal"ish life.

We get good med posts about starting new meds, but as quickly as those posts pop up we get the next saying it did this, or that, and that it was a disaster. Even with my Lamictal, which I have called a miracle, I'm still bipolar and with all the lovely things that come along with it. I can just deal with it much better because the severity is reduced. But I still can't work. Can't function like a "normal" person. This is what I'm looking for--bipolars who have found that normal (or as normal as it gets). I mean, are all these meds just guinea pig experiments and we cross our fingers and hope for the best?

I know meds are necessary for most (probably all) of us, but is there ever any real relief or are we just hoping for the meds to keep us alive, give us some good days, and string us along through life?

Just curious as to your views and experiences. I'm feeling fine now, but this question(s) has been on my mind a few weeks. I'm just finally not too depressed to get my thoughts together and post it.

[Shakti]

I did see a post a while back about someone with symptoms in some sort of remission, but if I remember it right it was all pep-talk, power of the mind stuff. That's not what I'm talking about here.

[owllover99]

Well, I was on just Haldol for 16 years and was stable the whole time. Course I got Tardive Dyskinesia and a few other side effects. Then my meds were totally changed and I got so depressed I was sucidial, but I read that could have been the Haldol, too. Now I'm on a lot of meds (no anti-psychotics, though) and am stable. I am bipolar. But I'm stable most of the time. I've only been manic once, but it was psychotic. That was 1993. When I get depressed, I get sucidial. I consider myself weird for a bipolar.

[Shakti]

But do you spend most of your time "normal"? And do you still get depressive phases?

Also, thank you for your response. GOD, 16 years. Amazing. I want that...haha.

[owllover99]

I guess I'm "normal". I very rarely get "the blues". When I get down, I get really depressed. All the way sucidial. This past February the only reason I didn't do it was my husband was right there being supportive all the way and I didn't want to hurt him. If I had still been single, I would have been dead.
No, I didn't even know I was bipolar until I was 39 and went manic. Scary. When I was in my 20's I tried sucide 5 or 6 times. Almost made it , too. But I mellowed out in my 30's. I feel real lucky in a way, but when something hits me, all hell breaks loose. At least my husband knows.

[Special-K]

OMG I love this post. I very much relate.

I've been on Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Kolonopin, Xanax, Trazadone, Lamictal, Lexapro, Trileptal, Addreal & Lithium

I'm probably forgetting some too. I'm 31 now, I've been getting treatment since 18. The above seems RIDICULOUS to me. Why am I on everything under the sun? Nothing works. NOTHING.
The Lithium is minimizing my irriatibility & it does help.
But like you said, I'm not balanced. I'm only taking Lithium, nothing else because all the above didn't work so I'm very resistant.

I just learned to that I'm 'Hypomanic' which is how I do function & have a good career. I had to really come down on myself because I was snapping at coworkers & such in my twenties.

I can't believe I just learned this year I'm hypomanic, after about 13 years of therapy.

The psychiatrist listens for like 30 seconds & is ready to write you 4 prescriptions. It makes me crazy... I'm sorry it takes more than FIFTEEN MINUTES to give you life altering medication!

GOOD POST

[blueoctober]

Shakti great post! I think there are a lot of factors that come in to play when managing bipolar and for me the medication is the most important, but there are other things I do to keep myself stable. Even with all that I do I still experience mood swings, but it's nowhere where it was the last few years before I was diagnosed.

I'm a highly sensitive person, so any shift in mood I feel it , but 3 years after being diagnosed I have the same career I had before my diagnosis and I have a fairly "normal" life. What I needed to come to terms with and still need to remind myself of is I have a mental illness, it's not going to go away and medication is necessary, but it won't take it away.

[BlackPup]

Great post!!!

Like others, I've had a lot of meds that don't work, or don't work completely - less severe moods but they are still there. Like owllover I get severely suicidal with every depression, Lithium makes it better, but it was still there.

The last few months I feel like I am getting more and more stable, in that I can have a bad day and not spiral into depression, and I don't get suicidal even if it is a bad day - its amazing. I feel like my mood fluctuations are ok, what is "normal" - we get so used to having to monitor our moods and scared of if we are heading up or down that I think we forget we are allowed to be human. We are allowed to be emotional.

Maybe it won't last - time will tell, but in my heart I feel different. My brain thinks and works differently, it's as if something has clicked into place - is it the drugs, therapy or God? I don't know...

It just seems like post after post about how the meds are not working, are ****ing us up, or are crapping out on us or making our lives worse. I'd not go off mine or anything, I just want some idea that there is hope of finding peace and a "normal"ish life.

Shakti, I think there is a significant bias in the population that uses this forum. I would imagine that people whose BP was under control (especially for long periods of time) would be much less likely to use this forum. If you got better today, would you still be writing here in 5 years or would you want to get on with your life and forget that BP even existed? (rhetorical question)
I remember reading an article on long term remission in BP patients. They had a big problem recruiting participants because they were not associated with support groups, hospital in/outpatients, if medicated were on established regimes administered by GPs etc - so I guess they are unlikely to be on forums!
The study gave me great hope for long term remission, and eventually the posibility of living medication free.

[Amazonmom]

I have been accused of not being "bipolar enough" in real life...because I am not rapid cycling, and I have been able to rebuild my life well after episodes.

I have a job as a Neonatal ICU nurse, own a home, have a husband and a toddler age daughter. I am also bipolar II and have PTSD. Right now it's the PTSD causing me the issues. I take lithium and propranolol(lithium tremor) and Lunesta (sleep). If you would have seen me 18 months ago you would have seen a very broken woman who was on the verge of suicide. I chose not to do that, and chose to get help instead. Living bipolar without meds stinks (did it for 13 years) and I won't do that again. I CAN manage to do okay, but life doesn't need to be so hard. So I take my lithium.

I hate calling people "stable" or "unstable". But I would be considered very stable and have been for a while now.

[Lauru]

Originally Posted by Shakti

So, is it just me or does it seem like, for the most part, none of our medications REALLY work for us? No matter how many times we change them?

I mean...is ANYone here "stable"? Has anyone at all found a med/combo/cocktail that has worked for any meaningful period of time? And by "worked" what do you mean? That you functioned, didn't kill yourself? That sort of thing? Or by worked, do you mean you found the right med/combo and lived/live a pretty normal life?

Or do these drugs just maybe keep us alive and barely hanging on?

So my short answer to your question is, for me at least, no. I have not found a combo that has worked for me any longer than 18 months. And that is sometimes just surviving not really living, not thriving.

My pdoc filled out a FMLA form for my employer and stated that I had a chronic condition, bipolar, that is recurrent every 6-18 months, and that this is how I would always be. I have to admit, he is right, I have been this way for over 20 years. I am now 37. I have gotten help since I was 17 and none of it has given me a normal life. Instead I must content myself with not suicidal, not depressed, not manic, and not psychotic. My life is a series of "not's" I don't want to "not die." I want to live, and apparently that will never happen for me.

[Formerlybrilliant]

Great post. I have a good friend with bp who has been completely stable for 30 years on lithium alone. She works, has a family, and is a quality person that I admire. This has given me hope that such stability is possible.

Blackpup brings a good point in that many of the success stories probably go unpublicized.

As for me, I've been on many meds. I'm currently on Depakote and lithium and this has kept me fairly stable for about 3 years. Not very long I know. But it looks as though I have found the right combo of meds for me. If it doesn't work out, I'll look for another med.

To answer your original question I think that the meds do work but as you are aware it is a matter of finding the right one for you. In my experience this process seems to have gone by trial and error. And I did go through some trials as they made some errors.

I hope your current med continues to work out for you and that you are able to enjoy stability in your life.

[sugahorse1]

I don't think I'm stabel yet, and holding on by a thread that the answer is indeed out there for me to live a fulfilling life.
I have a job, but I am far from productive.