Losing my job, hypomanic = couldn't care less

I was basically told to become SUPER reliable or EFF OFF. I've exhausted all my sick leave to compensate for the lack of bereavement leave, and then got sent to the hospital, so now my BP has rendered me completely UNRELIABLE.Me being me, or the mood I'm in, figured: I can't promise nobody else will die in my family during the next 2 months, I can't promise not to have another psychotic episode ( Zero trigger, so I really can't even TRY) so WTF does she want from me? EFF Her, I'm leaving!

I was offered a separation agreement, which is almost like paying me to leave.

I did sign a reliability clause in my contract, so I don't have a legal leg to stand on...

So beepers, I'm profusely searching for a job, as I can't afford to be our household's breadless breadwinner...

Upside of BP? I'm not even remotely freaked out, just emailing EVERYONE I can think of, and sending me resume EVERYWHERE...

Not sure what the point of this was, my fingers were itching, and maybe I just wanted to share.

Hang in there - your meds will kick in and you will become more reliable over time - We've all been there. Just try skirting below the radar, confide in one friend or us (PC) and vent away here - just don't let your work realise

They suck!!!

I went to Quest yesterday, the recruiter said she doesn't have anything within my range of expertise just yet, but she'll stay in contact...

My friends, have hopefully given my resume to their relevant parties...

I'm applying online like crazy, but no way hozê am I gonna be micromanaged for the next 2 months, only to be told to EFF OFF without a blue cent... this way I can make insurance pay my debt, as I'll be formerly "retrenched", it won't be so bad...

Here's to leaps of faith

I understand the way your feeling. Im there myself, though I still have a job but barely. I almost walked out yesterday from break downs and stupidness of co workers.

Though im useless and only have a minimum paying job of retail cause I cant get better and deserve no better. Im told go ahead and quit because theres always someone in line for your job, which they know isnt true as it took 2 yrs for them to fill another position in the same department.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hope things get better at work 4 u!

(((TRIPPIN))) Good luck on finding a job out there! Sending out resumes to everywhere even if their not hiring is a way to find a job.
And giving them to your friends is even better... Good luck!!

THANKS KADES! I'm quite hopeful as I still have quite some time to find a new job...

Sorry to hear you lost your job Trippin2.0. I understand the dilema. Good luck with finding a new job. I hope it is one you will enjoy.

Good for you! The upside is the place to be! (I've been having the downside of BP on that-- though I'm more stabilized now. It's GOT to happen. At least now I'm stable enough to believe that it might.)

Oh wow, does your first sentence remind me of something that happened while looking for a job. Had an interview. The guy said they needed someone "stable". SHEESH, he must've said it at LEAST 3 times!!! Made a big point of it, which made me think I had a big sign on my forehead announcing otherwise(!) Because of all that focus on one word...At the same time I wanted this job, I was terrified of getting it(!) No worries, I didn't.

I'm so glad that you are all revved up, poppin' out the resumes and have time to find one, Trippin! Good luck and keep us posted, ok?

Dear Trippin2.0,

This response is in two parts...before bipolar diagnosis and meds, and after. And it's long, I'm sorry, but I feel very strongly about this topic of work.

Before? I've had a total of 35-40 jobs in my life of 63 years (lost count). Bipolar, alcoholic, partyer extraordinaire, so didn't give a flip about responsibility, just stayed high, or depressed and curled up in bed. Called in to work sick a lot, walked off jobs a lot, quit jobs, was fired a lot, only to be RE-hired on some of the jobs where bosses knew I was a good worker...when I was there. <sigh> That went on until 1995, when I layed down to die, no dx, no hope. I had had enough. Lost my job, lost my house (bought it on a whim), had just bought a car (and still had one that worked). You may know the routine.

But then, the blessed diagnosis, and meds. Many, many meds. Total count now of the ones that didn't work? Seventeen.

But I had also reached the end and screamed "UNCLE", so I applied for and got disability. Couldn't work for five years. But then slowly re-entered the work force as I began to find meds that helped me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the meds seem to be the key (for me anyway) to holding a job without going balistic on idiot bosses, or walking off jobs when pissed (and trying to figure out later what got me pissed in the first place)! And also understanding the nature of mania, which on a good day is VERY hard to do.

Please allow me to ask if you have seen your pdoc to consider "tweaking" your meds? I know that there's a certain dose I NEED to take to be able to call in on a day I'm scheduled to work at my little parttime job to say yes, I will be working (we have to do that). And there have been MANY times I've wanted to just walk off the job. But I'm able now to back off, think it out, calm down, and stay on the job. What a benefit that is! And do you know that I received a certificate and a $50 bonus for perfect attendance for 2009? I cried.

One more thing. I have found that, even tho I have an associate degree, commendations, etc., that I had to drastically simplify my life (and the type of work I did, although this may not be feasible) to be able to not get triggered like in the past, even on my meds.

I really, really wish you well. Oh, and please come here and vent, that seems to help a lot too, to just "get it out" before doing something you may regret at work. Anyway, I hope I haven't stepped on any toes. This is my experience only, but I just felt a need to share with you.

Thanks for your insight Zooie, I've just started my meds about 2 months ago, and was given a tweak in the clinic which worked for the damn psychosis, but now my effing medical aid, is making me wait for my new script...

So far I'm stable, just highly peeved that my boss thinks I'm sick on purpose, it just makes me want to leave that much quicker. I've been put on a performance plan to monitor my attendance, do I still have time to look for a new job, as I have NO INTENTION of staying here 1 minute longer than I need to!

Thanks everyone for the advice and support, even though my mood ( or me) really doesn't care about this job anymore, it's nice to have some outside perspective...

thanks too Zooie - very insightful.
I too am busy working on a med combo to keep me stable. I battle with the depressive episodes, and at other times have a serious anger issue.
None of my bosses know about my dx, and only 1 colleague.
Some days I really do wonder how much the BP affects my work negatively

I WANT TO BE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT but I may be too short

We'll see...

I don't think height is that important anymore - there is basically a minimum height, as you need to be able to reach the overhead compartments.
A friend of mine studied and is now a flight attendant. Make sure you go to an accredited company!
On the other hand, having to deal with being BP is difficult enough - I'm not convinced that the fact that being a flight attendant and having an unstable work timetable is conducive to managing BP. You need structure...!

But A Flight attendant is such a GOOOOD idea right, one of my most brilliant yet!...maybe I should speak to an actual attendant and sleep on it? I am sorta "up" and drinking powerades aren't exactly helping...

IDK, I just really really really want a drastic change!
I wanna get out the office, move around, meet new people and see different places. And Jordan's big, she won't miss me. I really really think it's a great idea...

I wannna wanna wanna

That's a great idea.

Hi Trippin and sugahorse,
lol Trippin, don't I know that feeling of wanting to be FREEEE! Actually, you may enjoy being a flight attendant. They can be funny telling everybody how to use those flotation devices. I had a good friend that was one for over 30 years. She loved the travel. She'd go skiing in Aspen, CO, then off to Paris or England, or Atlanta or California. She moved some too depending on where her airline "base" was. But she finally married a pilot, had 2 kids and settled down. <sigh> Oh well.

Even tho I worked fulltime for 29 years before disability (many, many jobs!), I've been to sooo many places 'cause of mania. I'd just pack my bags and take off! Miami, California, Chicago, Atlanta, Memphis, and lots of just plain trips everywhere, and for the life of me don't know how I managed all that financially...I was poor! But I've been in one place now for 15 years. But ohhhh the memories!

Again, personally, I think it's the meds. I still have a yearning some days to just take off and see a new place, but mostly I'm stable and happy with my little job and my detective shows and computer!

Anyhoo, just some meanderings. I know how you feel and I wish you well!

Thank u thank u 4 understanding!

Dealing with time zone changes and shift work.... so not a good idea for BPs!!!!
My pdoc always sends me with a detailed emergency plan for any o'seas trips!