[lilred3382]

Have any of you ever gone thru the periods of time where all you wanted to do was spend money?

Im at that point as I have had a horrid month and I just wanna buy me some new things to make me feel better. However, IM pissed because my coworkers took my credit cards and everything from me so I wouldnt spend any money. They arent understanding that its not stuff I need but I want. I WANT I WANT I WANT!!! I been trying to fight the temptation, but its winning over me as I have credit cards that they dont know about and I keep applying for me.

I been in a few lawsuits for this before sad to say, and I sadly see it happening again. It just makes me feel better.

I did manage to buy my 5th MP3 player.

How am I supposed to react to them being so controlling over me and taking my stuff and not letting me spend my money.

Oh yeah..almost quit my job again too...sigh....

I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT!!

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by lilred3382

Have any of you ever gone thru the periods of time where all you wanted to do was spend money?

Im at that point as I have had a horrid month and I just wanna buy me some new things to make me feel better. However, IM pissed because my coworkers took my credit cards and everything from me so I wouldnt spend any money. They arent understanding that its not stuff I need but I want. I WANT I WANT I WANT!!! I been trying to fight the temptation, but its winning over me as I have credit cards that they dont know about and I keep applying for me.

I been in a few lawsuits for this before sad to say, and I sadly see it happening again. It just makes me feel better.

I did manage to buy my 5th MP3 player.

How am I supposed to react to them being so controlling over me and taking my stuff and not letting me spend my money.

Oh yeah..almost quit my job again too...sigh....

I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT!!

I have a $68,000 consolidation loan that I had to get a year and a half ago because of over spending on "stuff" within a time frame of less than a year, so I can truly relate. The spending for me can be part of hypomania, BUT I was also spending when I was happy, sad, stable etc. etc. I used stuff to try to "fill" me up. It doesn't work. It will never work. I would recommend speaking to a therapist to help find the root of your need to spend. For me it can be a sign that I'm lonely, sad, anxious and I don't want to feel those feelings, so my spending helped me stuff them. That doesn't work either and eventually you need to feel the feelings. I wish you luck and you may want to look into over spenders anon.

Do I still get the urges to spend? Hell yeah, but it's way less than before and I have my therapist to thank for that. A loan repayment of $1300.00 / month also helps with curbing the urge because it's a constant reminder of the mess I got myself in.

[SunnyD]

You have true friends that are standing strong to protect you at this dangerous time. I know how strong the urge is. These feeling will pass and you can hang tight. I agree with blueoctober about the therapist. Many people use shopping as therapy without hypo mania..it is a hard one.

[mommasuesue]

Hi lilred I too love to SHOP SHOP SHOP!!! Im bipolar 2 and I have a payee now that controls my finances , it is very aggravating so I know what your going thru for sure !
I just want things and I feel like a get a high from shopping I enjoy it but I always put stuff in the cart and when I get to the registar ... I dont have the money for everything ! Thats when I get way upset and I get home and cry about it cuz its so embarrising . I do agree with others that therapy might be a good idea but it didnt work for me I still feel the urge to shop ! but it helps to do something else , go for a walk or call a friend just do something to take your mind off of it .

[thinker22]

When I'm manic I absolutely love to shop. I get giddy about it. I buy clothes, lotions, technology, and anything that I deem to be "cute" or useful around the house. But in real life I hate shopping. Everything about it makes me want to climb under the covers. So it's a really easy litmus test as to if I'm manic or not...you'll find me in Anchor Blue trying on t-shirts and jeans if I'm manic. Since I only get these spells once every year or two, I probably actually do need the clothes. I still wear things with holes in them around the house. I stitch them with a needle and thread, but it's an ugly job. I can't bear to throw away my old standbys and I usually hate to shop, so what can I do?

Not sure how to advise you about your coworkers taking your credit cards. I would just take a certain amount of cash with you to go shopping with and once it's gone, go home. That way you know in advance that you can afford it, but won't spend more than you have. If you don't have any cash in the bank, only credit, I wouldn't go out at all. The urge is strong, but you'll be glad you didn't overextend yourself once it has passed.

[lilred3382]

You all had some really great ideas. Im not sure about the therapy though, as I hate it and have never really cooperated with it before. Im not the most out going person and I dont really like to have to talk to people face to face.

I only have credit and everything is about maxed out or taken away from me so Im kind of with out. Its killing me too as the urges are getting stronger each and every day. I work in retail so I can not not shop. Though my manager has been really fussy with me about it, and thats only because I cant get my work done because I lose focus and I go from home plate to left field so to speak.

I just see more law suits coming and thats scarey, bc if I hadnt been in these phases I could have had a few thousand dollars saved, butnow Im locked into contracts for 2 yrs and such. Sigh

Maybe, I am looking at it all wrong too as being weak instead of being 'ill' as some say, but I just cant see it that way.

[thinker22]

It is an illness because it is a personality change, which is part of the definition of some mental illnesses, especially bipolar. It is very common to overextend yourself on every avenue in mania: spending, sex, drinking, partying, socializing, talking a mile a minute, doing projects (which you often start half a dozen and never finish), and so on. Because it's part of a disorder, you do have to take precautions, and be thankful that someone else has your credit cards so you don't get yourself into more trouble. I had to give my cards to my partner last summer. But I kept my debit card just for necessities, knowing I couldn't go past what I had in the bank. Don't beat up on yourself for having the urges. Maybe use your energy to go through what you already have in the closet and reorganize it. You'll find clothes and things you'd forgotten about and it will seem like you just went shopping. At least that's what happened to me when I did it last summer. Just a thought. Feel free to ignore if it sounds dumb.

[lilred3382]

I just have a hard time accepting someting is wrong. I think that is because I never really know how I exactly feel. So its really hard to say whats causing what or why. If that makes sense, and I know Im way of subjec now so I apologize.

I understand your thought of going through the closet, just most of the stuff in there doesnt fit me. Its not really clothes that I buy anyhow so I dunno.

It sucks..I just want to be well although Im not unwell. Im sorry I just I dunno...I give up.

Im sorry for bringin you all down.

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by lilred3382

I just have a hard time accepting someting is wrong. I think that is because I never really know how I exactly feel. So its really hard to say whats causing what or why.

That can be the nature of the illness. There can be no "reason" that we are feeling a certain way. Sometimes it's just because of a chemical imbalance. It's hard to accept something that has no logic. It's so much easier if I can say I'm sad because XYZ happened. Also, never be concerned about "bringing people down" we are here to support each other.

[BNLsMOM]

This might sound silly, but would it help you to mock shop? In other words, go online, find things you like, print them out and make collages.

If that is silly, just ignore it, but for me, it is sometimes the finding of the thing rather than the having of the thing that makes me feel good. The collage helps to alleviate the wanting to have the object.

Just a couple of thoughts.

[lilred3382]

Never thought of it that way. Thanks!! ....

Im just ready to get into order. So I guess I need to go to the dr and tell him I need to be on meds. My issue is (sorry I got rapid thoughts if ya can tell) when he asks me how I am feeling, how do I respond when I dont really know? Some days I am hyper happy etc. Next depressred, irritable, angry, etc. Some days its allt he feelings in one.

Sorry I apologize again.

[blueoctober]

lilred3382 No worries my mind can often go on fast forward too! Sorry I'm not sure if you have been diagnosed, if you haven't you should get a full physical in case there is something physical that could explain your symptoms. I would also suggest tracking your moods. I finally found one online that I will actually do and it's at: http://www.medhelp.org/land/mood-tracker

With what to tell your Psychiatrist I would tell him or her exactly what you wrote. When I wasn't diagnosed my moods could be all over the place and even on meds I can go from super duper happy to a raging b****!

As far as the spending and wanting to buy things, my spending when I'm hypomanic is irrational. i.e. I will buy 5 of the same coats similar to you buying your 5th MP3 player. When I'm shopping to stuff feelings it's not irrational, but I definitely spend too much.

[lilred3382]

Yes I was diagnozed, but thank you. Will do the mood tracker thingnow.