just a quick HI!

just checking in quickly-have only had time to reply to a few PM's.
Been away on Conference-a week away from home.
Then a week of boring training on retailing-while my work piles up. And no real time to spend with my boyfriend either
Currently on 100mg Lamictin and it's been a God-send. Taking 1 Klonopin in the AM
My new horse arrived last weekend of Aug-havent really had time to spend with him, and only ridden him 2 times, but I love my 4-legged T!

Haven't been able to keep up regular visits to T, but coping ok-just very ratty. The lack of routine doesn't help.
Think i'm in a mixed episode,as i've been drinking more than normal, have fluctuating energy levels at ngiht, but am exhausted in the AM!?! No idea what that means.
Well-catch up properly from next week-hope everyone is ok.
I just needed to check in with my PC family, as I was feeling a little insecure, and am battling with feeling rejected. Arg-stupid, I know, but it brings out the worst in me. And I get very clingy towards my boyfriend. Maybe you have some advice.
Generally I have also been sleeping a lot more where possible, but been up for drinking and a party at night-sounds confused. And major aggression...

Hi, sugahorse...feels like your describing me these last few weeks. I've noticed that on the Lamictal I've been having some short but intense depressions, and I'm incredibly clingy lately. Feeling rejected has been part of my whole life at some degree or another. Guess on a practical note - the sleep you get after drinking isn't a "good" sleep, or so I'm told. Maybe try cutting back a little? As for clingy, a practical person would say spend more time doing things you like to do..of course, I'm not terribly practical. The one thing I've found that works is to explain to my husband why I feel clingy and that it is my insecurity. Men seem to need to "fix" things, so when they understand that they just need to be patient, it seems to make it easier to accept that they can't fix this..hope that helps..

Congrats on the new horse!

Hey sugahorse! I was wondering where you went. Thanks for checking in with us.

As for the mixed episode, it sounds like you're describing me! Especially with the decreased energy in the morning and increased energy at night. I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks for checking in Jackie,was a bit worried,glad to hear about your horse! XOXO

Good to see ya back!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've been sleeping heaps then not at all as well... I think my mood is just a little unbalanced but it is not having huge swings... the lack of routine really sucks, cos it thows you out even more... Hope you can get yourself back into something more stable.

i feel so damn emotional and lonely at the moment; and i'm physically surrounded by plenty people.
I guess this is one of those short, but intense depression spells.
I really want to go see my horse. I just want to get away from sitting in an office-with a really ridiculous training person. I need a purpose in my life. I want to feel happy again. Not sure what experiences others have with Lamictin. When i first started, i noticed the biggest improvement-now i feel i need to up the doage again. But i've only been on 100mg for about 2 weeks.
I am feeling clingy and lonely and just want a hug, or to climb into bed-forever. And i have no good reason to feel so low-dammit;snap out of it!
Xx
Thanks about the wishes re my horse-i have pics on facebook. PM me if u want my name to look at the pics

Me, too. I'm just kind of wandering around in my bathrobe wondering why I got out of bed today.

Are you on anti-depressants? I was on Prozac before my doc figured out it was BP and not just depression/anxiety. Now I'm just on Lamictal (also 100 mg) for about a month. All of my siblings are BP and they are all on Lamictal plus an anti-D, which works for them pretty well. Upping your Lamictin could actually make the depression worse.

i'm not on an anti dep too, just the 100mg Lamictin. And i don't think it's helping that much. My depression spells are short, but intense.
I'm really feeling crap and battling with this depression. Relying on Klonopin..

sugahorse; have you spoken to your p-doc about this? I can't remember when you were put on the lamictal. How long were you told to stay at 100 mg until you start to increase it? The average therapeutic dose is 200 mg. I take mine split between 2 doses am/pm at 100 mg.

When you say the depression spell is short and intense are you talking about an hour and then your mood becomes stable or hypomanic or do you then return to a mild depression. This may also be a result of drinking alcohol. I know that I have had some issues with drinking and my mood.

Either way I would suggest calling your p-doc.

((((((sugahorse))))))

I hope you start to feel better. I am happy for you about your horse. I hope you find more time for some 4 legged T soon.

You live a very busy and demanding life. Avoiding alcohol and taking special care of yourself with proper sleep and diet will make the work of evaluating your meds more successful. I can appreciate the anxiety is high right now. All the more reason to consult your doctor and improve your self care. Relying on the Klonopin is only a short term solutions that will likely be less and less effective over time. Its time now to nip this in the bud and consult your doctor asap.

Wishing you well.

thanks Blue.
I have been on 100mg for 2 weeks, and this is where I've been told to stay, at least until my next app in 3 months!
My spells come out of no-where, last a good few hours, where i question the point of my life and have suicidal ideations at time. I cant even explain my mood during these times-very depressed, emotional, tearful...
I have been thro a lot lately, with a change in job portfolio, then away on conference for a week, then training for a week... But these spells started before then.

I sms'd my T y/day, and she seems to think it is more a case of burnout-too much on the go and no down time. But that doesn't help me. I need my job, and I'm not about to tell my manager about my depression/BP II. I need meds and coping mechanisms; i need friends that will listen.
I'm not sure if a T is really that helpful to me.

It may be a bit of burn out, but I think if your meds were right you may be able to cope better. I would suggest requesting an earlier appointment with your P-doc. The suicidal thoughts worries me and your P-doc needs to be told about that. The increase to 200 mg for me helped me and certainly you will probably still need to increase slowly, but 3 months seems excessive to me.

I can understand not wanting to tell your employer. I have, but it's something that once you do it, it can't be taken back.

i dont think my pdoc was really planning on upping my Lamictal dosage, and seemed happy with me on the 100mg. I told her about the depressive spells, and she said to be careful not get it confused with the general 'Blues' that everyone experiences. But it has continued and y/day crippled me again. I do feel much better today, but don't believe this is the quality of life that I feel I need to put up with-it seems painful and pointless, and is not outweighed by the 'Ups' of life.

I agree a person with bipolar can still have natural mood shifts, but what you are describing doesn't seem natural, it seems to be a function of the bp. Perhaps just contact her and let her know what's been going on. I would also ask her what her reasoning is on the 100 mg dose. I know you're in South Africa, but I think it's still the same med, and just marketed under the name lamictin (I think??). What I have read is the average therapeutic dose is 200 mg. Certainly everyone is different, but I would still ask about the dosage because something isn't working.

Hi, back in the office and chaos. But climbing through it.
Yes, the drugs have different names in South Africa, but the active ingredient is still the same.
Pdoc is away until Tues 14th Sept, but have left a message with her secretary.

Thinking of you....

Have been away a bit so only just caught up on this....

Like I say one minute at a time

hi and thanks to you too BlackPup