[laur88]

Hi all!
Just for context: I am a college student at a very academically rigorous school. I have been tentatively diagnosed with bipolar II disorder (simply put, last year was a roller coaster). I sing in an a capella group, take 4 classes and a 3 hour lab, and am in a play this semester.

Last week my a capella group held auditions, which took up a ton of time (5.5 hours Tues, 1 hr Wed, 3 or 4 hrs Thurs) and I was also auditioning for the play. I felt stressed beyond my capacity to handle it. Particularly for the play auditions. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, my hands shook before and during auditions and by the end of the week I was exhausted emotionally and physically. I don't know why those things seemed like such a big deal at the time (I kept telling myself "it's ok, not a big deal" but my mind was freaking out... What do you all do when you feel anxiety like this? Do you ever feel as anxious as I did over small things?

Thanks in advance
-L

[Travelinglady]

Yes! I think sometimes the small things are what push us "over the edge"! An example might be a time when we're juggling so many activities and having so many frustrations, and we go into a McDonald's and order a hamburger "without onions." Then when we get the hamburger, we discover that it has onions on it after all. So, we pitch a royal fit about it, and everyone around us is wondering why we're making such a big deal about something so piddly.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II ten years ago, and I've found that I fare better when I spread out my obligations and responsibilities. Right now you might want to consider cutting back a bit on something and working on treatment for your diagnosis.....Gee, your schedule would tax anybody, much less someone who is trying to deal with a possible mood disorder! Your body's response might be its way of saying, "Let's take it a bit more easy for a bit." What do you think?

By the way, you are obviously one smart cookie!

[BlackPup]

Welcome Laur
Hope that you find PC to be helpful and supportive

Try some relaxation techniques like meditation, deep breathing or mindfulness. You need to be comfortable and familiar with what ever technique, that when you get stress you can easily put yourself in that place. Practising meditation, mindfulness, yoga or Tai Chi on a regular basis also helps to keep you baseline stress level low so that it takes more to tip you over the edge.

http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/docs/MindfulnessinEverydayLife.pdf

When you have some time and headspace, then it would be great to go to a T (therapist) and try and work out what the underlying issues that are really causing the stress are.

Also this awesome list of tips for living well with Bipolar is courtesy of BlueOctober (sorry blue I go in first, I love it so much I can't help but pass it around!!!!!!)

1. Take meds as prescribed.
2. Educate yourself on the illness.
3. Be honest with your psychiatrist, GP, therapist etc.
4. Get regular sleep, if you can't sleep ask for a prescription for sleep to be taken regularly or as needed.
5. Eat properly i.e. avoid excessive caffeine, junk food etc.
6. Avoid alcohol.
7. Avoid non-prescription drugs and/or drugs not prescribed to you.
8. Exercise regularly.
9. Set a routine for yourself i.e. getting up at the same time, going to sleep at the same time.
10. Surround yourself with people that fill you up.
11. Take time for yourself.
12. Be patient. The med regime for many diagnosed does take time, but it's worth taking the time.
13. Write in a journal especially with how you are feeling right now; that way if you ever considered going off meds it may help you make a better decision.
14. Track your mood. Great free one online at http://www.medhelp.org/land/mood-tracker
15. And finally remember you aren't your diagnosis. You have bipolar, but you aren't bipolar.

[PT52]

Hi laur, and welcome...BlackPup pretty much said it all, and said it quite well, actually. Sometimes you have to choose to opt out of some things so you have time to mentally rest. I think that my need of meds came years later than my sisters because she always had much more on her plate than I did.

[laur88]

I can't thank you all enough for everything! It's so good to know that other people feel or have felt the same way I did last week.

Blackpup (or I suppose Blueoctober? great music, by the way...) in particular, you were so helpful! I always struggle to remember my moods when I go to the doctor so the mood tracker will be very helpful. Also I didn't realize caffeine could have potentially negative effects.

It's really great to be able to talk to you all about this because I don't know anyone else who has bipolar and I don't want to worry my parents (particularly my mom - she freaks out a little...) about everything.

For now I'm going to work on managing my time well (tonight was NOT good) because I don't think I would be willing to drop any of the things I do (after all, I made a commitment). I think exercise will really help kill off nervous energy. Also, because auditions are over and the parts have been cast, a lot of anxiety has been lifted off my shoulders.

Thanks again you all! I am very hopeful

p.s. thanks Payne1 for the compliment, sometimes at this school I don't feel very smart at all...

[blueoctober]

Welcome laur88; I can totally relate. At times this illness can send our perspective out into orbit. The small things become HUGE, the HUGE things become unmanageable. Getting the med combo right definitely helps with that. Positive self talk i.e. I'm going to do well in this auditions etc. Relaxation exercises i.e. yoga, stretching, exercise of any sort. Therapy has also helped me keep things in perspective. Eating regularly is very important, so I know sometimes when one is anxious they don't want to eat, but that just makes it worse.

I hope you find this site supportive

[sanityseeker]

I too can related and while I can't add to the list or what others have already shared I will sum it up in 4 words..... practise good self care. That means avoiding over extending yourself and treating yourself with kindness. For far too long I didn't and the cost is a hefty one that could have been avoided had I taken proper care of myself earlier.

[owllover99]

College today is very competitive. I guess it can be fun, but not like the old days. You got some very good advice. But I know you're in college and will you be able even though you want to take that advice? I say do your best and go to your pdoc and get a low dose of klonipin for anxiety. There is so much pressure in college even in a small college you need a little help. I need it to work in this bldg of 5,000 Federal employees. If you weren't bipolar, I could see no meds, but this will help. Hugs, Owl.

[BlackPup]

blue's list does really rock!!!!!!