breaking down

I just cannot handle the work stress.
And the more I tell people, the less they care or listen.

I've just about had enough - I just wanted to run away
I've probably already made a fool of myself screaming and shouting, but there's only so much a person can take.
And I've reached that point - the point where everything seems pointless

((((((((((sugahorse))))))))))
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Have you ever felt this way before? I'm asking this because maybe when you felt this way before, you found a way to feel better, and this time you could use the same method to feel better from being upset. For example, exercise, meditation, cooking, talking with a family member or friend...anything!

I hope you are feeling better soon, and remember that you can pm me anytime.

Thanks Melissa,
I guess it's a case of having to just deal with it. To shut up and get on with it. Put the extra hours in, climb thro the work, tell everyone else to bugger off; and come out the other side looking rosier.
But right now it doesn't look like an option. I know it always feels worse when you're in it, and in hindsight it always looks petty.
But I really hate this and feel terrible.

Hang in there sugahorse, I don't know anything about your healthcare laws over there, but do you have an option to take a medical leave or request accommodations to make it a little easier?

i know how you feel. I am five days out of my last manic phase and it seems every phase pushes me one step closer to the edge. Hang in there i know what you are going through.

PT52 - it would probably mean me having to disclose my dx.
I can take sick leave. One day I can take without a doctor's note, thereafter I need a pdoc or possibly T to book me off officially. Which I think my T is more than willing to do.
Managed to get through y/day, then have an ice-cold cider to calm my frazzled nerves. Then nearly fell asleep in front of the TV at about 7PM, while my other half was still busy with clients.
I need to take time out, even if just an hour within my working day. My T had actually told me I MUST take my lunch break, which I have not done in ages.

Going to try stay calm today, else I can take a Klonopin to slow everything about me down.
Thanks for your support and the opportunity to vent and seek support.

Hope you feel better soon.. Everyone has their reasons, but I'm kind of glad I disclosed to the last boss - I think they would have fired me anyway (been there before!) and this time at least I have legal recourse to hopefully get a financial settlement to keep me going at least until I find another job (tough in this part of the US). Anyway, listen to your T and take your lunch..even "normal" people need to eat.

My job forced me to get counselin within the company on top of my pdoc visits but i had to do what i had to do.

PT52 - I just eat at my desk, lol!
I'm not sure we have anyone within the company that kind of does counselling. We have an industrial psychologist, but he's in charge of the recruitment and restructuring. And then we have an HR manager, but I doubt she'd be the one to talk to.
I'm waiting to hear from my pdoc about altering my meds, and if I still cannot cope, I guess I'll need to approach someone from within my company.
Yesterday was better for me, but today I feel a bit flat and slightly depressed again :-(

Suga I have dealt with these exact issues for the 22 years I have been working. I have been fired from numerous jobs because I cannot handle the stress and then explode and scream and shout. I was with my previous company for going on 5 years and I did not disclose my diagnosis. However in a meeting one day there was this guy that was such an idiot he used to make me so angry I wanted to kill. Anyhow I threw an orange at him (don't laugh thank goodness that is all that was in reach) and swore at him. I was then asked to "see someone" and I told my boss I was BP. From that day on they made my life a living hell and you know I left there at the beginning of last year. Please do not disclose your condition as I have been through the being discriminated against part and it is not nice.

I now have a half day job that is not stressful at all and I have not lost my temper once here or had a day I felt I could not cope and my advice to anyone who is going through what you are is to take a step back, reassess what you want out of life and perhaps choose a different career path. I know you want more out of life and want to earn a good salary BUT is it worth what you are going through now? Just my 2 cents.

Cheers - I don't think I will reach a place where I will disclose. I do however know that I am not the only one battling. "normal" people are battling, so you can only imagine how much worse it is for someone that CANNOT handle stress

Yeah, I would definitely have to agree with that...the beginning of the end of my last job just happened to coincide with the hiring of a new HR person. She had already got rid of two others before she got to me. An arrogant b****, if you ask me. I'm not much of one for wanting revenge, but I would be pretty happy if my attorney gets a big enough settlement to get this woman fired.

You hang in there, and remember, you are awesome!

Yay - my PC family to the fore - thanks so much for your support at the time when it really was needed

Arg - pdoc phoned and said I need to spend about 2 months at a dose of 100mg of Lamictin to know if it works. And I should probably track my moods to know if it's getting better or not... so, about another month to go, and then I phone her back.

But the good part was that I actually felt very comfortable talking to her (I hide behind email and sms'd, because it's easier for me. But she seemed to understand (I'm slightly hypomanic, and had contacted her when I was down; so it was hard for me not to be embarassed - does that make sense?). She understood how I could be totally depressed and a week later bouncing off the walls. Told me not to be embarrased; these are my moods and I'm not in control of them - not totally either.
She said I need to sit tight, and I need to ride out this month to be fair on the meds. We cannot just keep adding new meds all the time, else we'll never know what's working or not. So it felt great to be given a motivational type of speech.
I guess it's up to my PC peeps to assist me in this next month if things get rocky, because I will not be getting any new meds for now...!

Hello,

I too have bipolar disease and broke down at work. It was the worst time, I loved my job and it was heartbreaking to lose it. I quit before anyone had the hint I was depressed, seriously depressed. Do what you have to do to feel better, sounds like your job may be to stressful for you.

Much Luck
Heartnurse05