[witchywoman]

Anyone else really tired of being bipolar? What a waste of time and energy(or lack of energy)!!!! I'm sorry I'm just really really tired both emotionally and physically and sometimes I just want to give up and I wonder if it's worth it?? Can anybody explain to me why it's worth getting up in the morning? And please don't say family and friends because that doesn't matter!

[Medicated]

I've started a couple threads lately asking basically the same question: why am I still putting up with the uncertainty and pain?

I look forward to the responses on this thread...

[larakeziah]

i too have been wonderin the same thing. I don't see the point any more and am so fed up and tired of havin to take meds and jus being me basically!

[PT52]

Originally Posted by witchywoman

Anyone else really tired of being bipolar? What a waste of time and energy(or lack of energy)!!!! I'm sorry I'm just really really tired both emotionally and physically and sometimes I just want to give up and I wonder if it's worth it?? Can anybody explain to me why it's worth getting up in the morning? And please don't say family and friends because that doesn't matter!

Yup, get plenty tired of it. Even tho I love my family a lot, I don't necessarily keep going for them. The biggest reason I keep going is because I'm really curious about what the future is going to bring. I mean, I've got a mental disorder, half a dozen medical problems, I've been thru hurricanes, earthquakes, and had my apartment burn to the ground. I've also had some really incredible experiences that I wouldn't change for anything...I figure I've got a 50-50 chance that tomorrow is going to be awesome, and I want to be around to find out.

[Amazonmom]

While I could do without bipolar disorder, most of my life has gone very well and I really shouldn't complain. But bipolar really does stink.

[BlackPup]

There are definitely times where it is all too much and there seems no hope or no reason to keep on going, you forget what it is like to be happy and enjoy things. It doesn't feel like it, but it WILL get better. That's the nature of BP it goes up and it goes down but it will get better. Sometimes it takes a while and sometimes the pain feels like it is too much...
What keeps me alive in the hard times... my faith in God...

[laur88]

Originally Posted by PT52

Yup, get plenty tired of it. Even tho I love my family a lot, I don't necessarily keep going for them. The biggest reason I keep going is because I'm really curious about what the future is going to bring. I mean, I've got a mental disorder, half a dozen medical problems, I've been thru hurricanes, earthquakes, and had my apartment burn to the ground. I've also had some really incredible experiences that I wouldn't change for anything...I figure I've got a 50-50 chance that tomorrow is going to be awesome, and I want to be around to find out.

Agreed. The good stuff is too good to lose. When we're low it's SO hard to remember what happy feels like. The only way to keep going is to try to remember that sad is not forever (even though it feels like it is). Our life is something of a roller coaster and roller coasters can't be stuck at the bottom of a hill forever.

[madisgram]

when the depression rears it's ugly head it is very difficult for me to have sound reasoning. and yes, it is exhausting. using my pdoc during these times does help cause my meds can be tweaked to take some of the severity away til i stabalize. yeah i wish i wasn't bipolar but now that i'm dx'ed at least there is some help out there so i can have somewhat of a normal life. thank goodness.oh, what is normal? lol
just read medicated's reply...the way i see it is, can't change what is but i can do any and everything in my power to enjoy those good days, do my therapy, and when the bad comes i at least have some "tools" to get me through the worst of it. i don't enjoy those times but if i just have a tantrum about it-used to-it accomplishes nothing positive to resolve my "spell."

[vjdragonfly]

I pull myself just by the hope of a new tomorrow. Not everyday is going to be good but I know I can make it through it. I just have to be persistent and not let it get the best of me. I have faith that there is a better tomorrow and I want to be there for that. I have had good times in the past so I know I can have it again. When I don't know, but I refuse to give up faith and hope. It is all I have in the end and I just have to believe.

[greylove]

Honestly, I'm getting up for PC. Also for my dog Magruder, and because I have no other options. My husband has been through too much already. I have severe Bipolar 1 with many incapacitating side effects. It's not about changing meds. My outside world has shut down......PC is my new world. I hate, hate, hate my illness......but I look forward to getting online. It's where I feel a sense of belonging, a combined sharing of support, and best of all humor. Many times it puts a smile on my face. I spend alot of time in Games, but I recognize many of you. All my best to you guys........greylove

[greylove]

Honestly, I get up for PC. And for my dog Magruder and for my husband who has been through way too much already. I have no other option. I have severe Bipolar 1 with some really horrendous side effects. It's not about changing meds. My outside world has shut down. PC is my new one. I hate, hate, hate my illness, but I love PC. I come here for information, community, and best of all, humor. Many times it will put a smile on my face, when there is nothing else to smile about. I spend most of my time in Games, but I recognize many of you. I wish you guys all my best......greylove

[Medicated]

Originally Posted by madisgram

just read medicated's reply...the way i see it is, can't change what is but i can do any and everything in my power to enjoy those good days, do my therapy, and when the bad comes i at least have some "tools" to get me through the worst of it. i don't enjoy those times but if i just have a tantrum about it-used to-it accomplishes nothing positive to resolve my "spell."

I fail to see how my two-line response constitutes a "tantrum." Lately the bad days have vastly outnumbered the good, so pardon me if I'm a little discouraged by it. I take my pills like a good little girl and I go to therapy regularly, but that doesn't prevent the mood swings. I'm not having a "tantrum..." I'm grieving the life that I had imagined for myself before bipolar really set in. Am I not allowed to grieve the goals and dreams which are already lost?

If you have managed to achieve everything you had ever hoped for in life, the congratulations. But if bipolar has ever limited you or crushed any of your dreams, do you think it is unreasonable to grieve the loss? I don't.

[greylove]

I understand, Medicated. I'm grieving my losses, physical and mental, virtually every minute of every day. It is what it is. And I can't do anything about it. Meds do pretty much nothing for me, except keep me from driving into that tree again. PC is my best medicine.......

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by Medicated

I fail to see how my two-line response constitutes a "tantrum." Lately the bad days have vastly outnumbered the good, so pardon me if I'm a little discouraged by it. I take my pills like a good little girl and I go to therapy regularly, but that doesn't prevent the mood swings. I'm not having a "tantrum..." I'm grieving the life that I had imagined for myself before bipolar really set in. Am I not allowed to grieve the goals and dreams which are already lost?

If you have managed to achieve everything you had ever hoped for in life, the congratulations. But if bipolar has ever limited you or crushed any of your dreams, do you think it is unreasonable to grieve the loss? I don't.

sorry my long winded sentence made you feel like i was saying you were having a tantrum. what i meant by referencing you previous post was i read your despair. i have learned i have a choice in how we deal with my dx. soon after learning my dx i would get so frustrated being bipolar. my T called them "tantrums" and for me it applied. going to bed feeling relatively good and waking up not even wanting to get out of bed, doom and gloom, etc. recently i had the worst depressive episode in 20 years. the difference today for me is that i have learned to realize i will experience these mood changes and adapt as best as i know how-many solutions-until it passes. for me, i have chosen to not let my dx define who i am. it is merely a facet of self. many ppl don't have to deal with what we do...i've often wondered how it would feel if i didn't have this illness. i'm sure some things would be easier for me. but the reality is that i am bipolar and my "tantrums" got me nowhere but more frustrated. so i worked in therapy on finding solutions and tools to cope.
in reply to the end of your last post, no, i haven't allowed my dx to crush my dreams nor has my dx crushed my dreams. if i had then i would have had no hope. so for that i am blessed.
so hope this clears up this misunderstanding. i need to watch my running sentences.

(Oh greylove, that brought me to tears! Me too. It's PC I come to every day, come hell or high water. FB, a cursory glance. Couldn't care. But PC? Love love love.)

Witchywoman, I so so so hear you on the why question and the non-relatibilty of the standard "family and friends" answer. My response on both counts is "oh, puleeezzze!" They can't even be bothered to talk to me, the ball--when it exists--is always in their court, unreturned, and it's all about them, even if I'm going through hell. And friends? Pffft. As if. I see "some people I know" 1 weekend per year. That's it. So. Yeah.
It may sound totally lame, and I know I would have told anyone who told me this to take a flying leap (well, it would have been faaaaar more colorful ), but just when I was seriously ready to cash it in (less than 1 year ago). Seriously. Then it just so happend that I started to talking with someone under the most unlikely circumstances imaginable. I was simply curious. Where could this go? We are like peas in a pod with the deepest level of empathy in the ... how to describe it? Hard lessons learned? catagory...I've never been more content in my life (and that is a long time, lol!), even as I struggle with my BP, that someone cares. Do I see forever? No. He does. I don't. I can't. It's simply not in me. He does not know that we almost didn't meet on account of my plans. (Like...literally. We're talking about 2 weeks. 2 weeks! Though I'd've slapped anyone who suggested such a thing were possible... it really is true. You DON'T know what might happen.)
Ummmm, so there you have it. It's true what they say, even when you want to f'in slap them for that flippin' pollyanna crap, you truly DO never know! (Seriously, I'd've pummelled 'em screaming, "you just don't get it, you f'in moron! This is MY life we're talking about! These things just don't happen! and so on and so forth... )

Long and short? Because you really don't ever know. As much as that sounds stupid, it really is true. I'd've never believed it either.

[witchywoman]

Thank you guys so much. It's really nice to know people feel like I do. I don't have any friends to talk to and my husband is not supportive at all. He hates the fact that I'm bipolar and makes fun of me all the time. He's a real jerk. I noticed a couple of you use PC alot. I just joined not to long ago so I'm not very familiar with it. I can't even get a profile picture to work. Anybody have some suggestions I should check out around here? I think someone said something about games? I'm addicted to facebook so I wouldn't mind something new to look at. As of right now I have my self-harm and my facebook(I know that's really pathetic)but what can I say?

Under "my profile" click on "edit my avatar". There are a bunch of forum supplied avatars to choose from. There is a way to choose one outside of this, but... see if there's one you like there. If not, someone will be able to guide you in the right procedure to do a different one.
(And hoooo boy do I hear you on the teasing and lack of support. My ex used to make the most unimaginably bad "jokes". They really hurt. )

[BlackPup]

It is good and right to grieve for what you have lost and for what has happened to you... That's the only way that you can move forward without it all dragging you down...

[blueoctober]

Hi witchywoman, here is the link to the games forum on PC http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=47 . I'm not a games person, but you may want to see if it interests you. We also just created a bipolar social chat room (the link is in my signature).

I'm glad you decided to join

[witchywoman]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Under "my profile" click on "edit my avatar". There are a bunch of forum supplied avatars to choose from. There is a way to choose one outside of this, but... see if there's one you like there. If not, someone will be able to guide you in the right procedure to do a different one.
(And hoooo boy do I hear you on the teasing and lack of support. My ex used to make the most unimaginably bad "jokes". They really hurt. )

Thanks for the instructions on how to get a profile picture. It worked!! I found a great picture I liked so thank you!!
P.S. Some guys are such jerks!!

[PT52]

Thanks for the instructions on how to get a profile picture. It worked!! I found a great picture I liked so thank you!!
P.S. Some guys are such jerks!!

witchywoman - not to be too stereotypical , but some guys are jerks all of the time, and all guys are jerks some of the time! We like to use the term FDB, although that can be applied to some women as well!

[Raemay18]

Im sick of it to but Im not goign to give up over my emotions. What I do is battle them and usually win but I think when were in that deep dark hole it seems to make it harder to battle the negative thoughts we have. I wish you the best I know serequel helped me when I had the money to afford it but if you cant then try some legal weed it really helps moods and blocks those bad feelings at least it works for me. I know not everyone likes weed.

[Ithurts]

I'm so sick of being sick.

[greylove]

That sums it up nicely, Ithurts.......me too.......(((((hugs)))))