Not thinking about Ax wielding today.

Ok, so yesterday I was thinking about taking an ax to all of my stuff see my post

"what the F*** is going on with me"

today I feel nothing. It feels like Limbo. I have never had an experience that was so intense as yesterday, and I was wondering if I could have a more severe episode again soon.

I think I have been in a weird cycle for many years now. Look at my unfinished website trying to describe this

http:www.FlashObsessions.com

I think that this might be describing hypomanic episodes in my life. I'm not sure. During these times my brain will not stop with ideas but I am almost paralyized when it comes to taking action. I probably would not go to bed during these times, but my fiancee would be upset if I stayed up so I lay down and roll around all night with the thoughts. I have never had violent thoughts before the last two days. These thoughts are always Project ideas and such. Or some big plan about getting super organized.

It seems like I get these flash obsessions for many weeks - and then I get depressed and have no interested in anything at all. It's hard to tell what is going on when it is happening.

What are your experiences? Are they anything like this. I have not been diagnosed. Do you think I could have an episode worse then the last two days, Is it progressive?

No Love , No Hate?

Well......I think it's really important that you get diagnosed. BP is never black and white...everyone's experience is unique to them. It could be progressive, and maybe not. It can come and go quickly or it can go away for undefined periods of time. Ups and downs can be anywhere on the spectrum.

It seems like you're trying to find a label before you find a diagnosis. There really isn't any way for you to understand what's gone before or what to anticipate in the future until you have a diagnosis and a treatment plan.

Sorry if I couldn't really give you an answer..I hope that you'll see a doctor soon.

Hi lockbox; I agree with PT. For some (myself included) if the BP is left untreated it does become worse and/or harder to treat, so the earlier you can get in with a pdoc the better.

I have to agree. The first step in healing is getting the proper diagnosis by a psychiatrist, not a GP (imho). The right meds will help.

Well I really appreciate what you guys are saying. I just don't see me getting help anytime soon unless something major happens.

I tried already

Do you have a regular GP? That's how I got help. I went in for something else and mentioned how I had been feeling. He's been really good about helping me figure it out. Plus, there are physical things that should be ruled out also.